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IEP - Stage 3

(14 Posts)
Cosmo74 Wed 02-Mar-05 14:19:23

Hi all posted a while ago about DS being on IEP he is on stage 2 at minute and I wanted to speed up the process of getting him assessed - I managed to get into school to talk to his teacher yesterday - already spoke to head mistress who does not want to rush things!!!? but I want to know if he has a problem or not - head mistress seems to already have him dx as ADHD!! and even though they say he is not 'labelled' he is, at least if I get the assessment we will know once and for all and if there is nothing wong with him she will have to drop this ADHD thinking and we can concentrate on his behaviour - however his teacher is very nice and supportive she did say that head mistress said there was no rush but she is going to move him onto stage 3 of IEP - just wanted to know what will this involve - she did say he will be on this for 2 months so doesn't look like he will be assessed before going to Primary 2 which means new teacher getting use to him etc...and we will have to start all over again... I really wanted someone to see him before the summer break - so the Ed Psyc still work over the summer - probably not as they would have to see them in school environment!!

Better stop now as this could turn into a rant - it is just I am expecting another baby in August and come September when DS goes back to school could do without all the worry and stressing again.

P.S BTW anyone any ideas on stopping bed wetting he has started this over the last few weeks and can manage to wet himself up to 3 times a night - we have stopped drinks etc.. after 6pm but he was in the shower last night and when I went to get his PJ's came back and caught him gulping shower water!!!HELP!!!
Ta in advance for any advice.

lars Wed 02-Mar-05 14:42:35

Hi cosmo 74,

I can understand how you feel and I do have some suggestions for you, only because i've been there and waited so long to get the assessment only two and a half years ( also ds was on exclusions from school. Firstly if the LEA start even to begin an assessment it's usually further down the line action plus - all agencies ar involved at this stage.
To speed things up apply direct to the LEA to make an assessment, although they may decide not to access and they you will have to appeal.
Go to your doctor to request an assessment for ADHD - refer to outide agencies. You will have to wait for the appointments so get the ball rolling now!!!

Also you can go private for an assessment.
At least you will have a diagnosis alot quicker.
How is ds behaviour at shcool and home??? larsxx

lars Wed 02-Mar-05 14:43:58

Sorry spelling errors - rushing at the moment. larsxx

MrsFROSTgetful Wed 02-Mar-05 15:04:15

cosmo- doesn't the school year seem so short- know exactly how you feel about him going up to next class and having to start again... in my case i am looking for the DX....but totally see where =you are at...

Cosmo74 Wed 02-Mar-05 17:03:00


Thanks for that - we have already taken him to the doc but they are saying that we could wait a year for an appointment - we asked about going private but they do not do private appointments (I live in Northern Ireland so it is pretty small town where I live). His teacher advised us to go through the school too and see who gets an appointment quickest.

His behaviour at home is similar to school but nowhere need as bad - thing is he is an only child at the minute so gets alot of attention at home - he is very active and cannot sit still etc.. before he went to school I thought he was just spoilt - now I do admit that he is different from other boys his age - much more defianiant(sp?) can be slightly hyper. etc... at school his teacher says that he is not a bold child - he does not fight with others etc. it is just getting him to sit and concentrate if he does not want to do something he will not do it - also this last while he has started trying to answer back!! He also has always had problems with going to the toilet - holding on until the last minute so quite often now he wets and aldo dirty's himself - we have tried everything for this - sticker charts, strict discipline, talking to him, ignoring him but nothing seems to work - I really think he doesn't understand what he has done wrong - I don't know if this is linked to anything he may have or if it is just the way I toilet trained him??

Mrs F - I know - the thing that annoys me is that he was only in primary one 6 weeks when the head called us in to talk about it (she is the one who mentioned ADHD right from the start - seems to already have him dx)- since then he has been on the same plan without it changing - it was only since a new teacher took over his class and talked to us about getting him assessed that we decided to do something - now the head is telling me not to worry or stress about it and that she does not want to rush things - if it is going to take a year to move from one stage to another what class will he be in by the time we get an assessment. His teacher has told us that he is very bright and that she would not like to think that his behaviour will hold him back - which I fully agree with - so there is an urgency about it as far as I am concerned. Oh must not get stressed!!!!!!

Better go now as hubby is waiting to take me home - DS got 7 stars today (max is 10) so it seems like today is a good day.

Cosmo74 Wed 02-Mar-05 17:07:16

does not make much sense trying to type in a rush - will update it better tomorrow - Sorry

lars Thu 03-Mar-05 07:49:12

Cosmo 74, this sounds just like my DS. He has now been diagnosed with 0.D.D. Ds have now been given medication and he is now starting to concentrate. I have a real porblem with the school helping my ds and that they are too slow to act and quick to exclude. I would just say push as much as possible as schools get fed up and I think that you become a parent that everyone hates as you are always nagging for urgent appointment and so on. BTW ODD is on same line as ADHD, so behaviours are similar and they tend to run side by side. My ds scored high for conor score although they say he has't ADHD not so sure myself.

As for the sticker chart we do this as well, this didn't always work. Although we now put the prize a money each sticker is worth so much and he has responsded much better to this and knows he can save up to buy what he likes. You must do this as drugs/medication does not work alone for the behaviours and they need to change. You see kids get into a pattern of bad behaviour too and although they may not be able to help some of them. Ypu must reward positive behaviour so that he knows what you expect. I know this can be hard but don't give up on that sticker chart, I did a few times. Some parents use beads or mables and palce then in a jar ( they can decorate this) and some kids before this much better as it appears more fun.. Hope this helps larsxx

Cosmo74 Thu 03-Mar-05 10:25:30


Ta for that - what exactly does ODD stand for - sorry I am new to all of this - but find this site and the people here full of knowledge and so helpful. DS has a sticker chart at school - the max he can get is 10 stars - yesterday he got 7 which I think is very good and he got a reward for that - trouble is that both me and Hubby work full-time his grandparents mind him after school til we come home, do you think that I should have a sticker chart at home too. It is just he seems to spend all his time worrying about how many stickers he gets etc.. he actually gets obsessed about it sometimes - like when we come home from work it is the first thing he will tell us about - unless he has had a bad day and then he does not talk to us until we say 'never mind just try harder tomorrow' - it just annoys me sometimes that all he seems to hear is try hard today or how many stickers etc..I just do not want him to look back on his childhood and think it was unhappy!!

I am really going to torture the school - I spoke to his teacher on Tuesday so she said that she will send home his stage 3 IEP to get signed this week - if I haven't got it I will phone on Monday - I don't like doing that cause she has been really good with DS but I really want something to be sorted for his own good.

BTW hope you don't mind me asking - what age is your DS and how long did it take to get DX - did you go through the school or private?

Thanks again - seemed to waffle again - putting that down to hormones!!!

lars Thu 03-Mar-05 10:47:14

Hi Cosmo 74, you are not alone I've been through exactly the same as you. Didn't really know much about SEN until now. My ds is just 7 yrs ( yr 2 at school) and has ODD oppositional defiance disorder, plus speech delay and is like an emotionally much younger child. The disorder is usually they are strong willed, do not always respond to adults request, no concentration give up tasks, refuse to comply to rules and are usually loners, like their own company, although I do feel this is because they tend to feel rejected by their peers.( they may not have a speech delay).Also my ds is very impulsive when in a rage throws, spits kicks,ect really bizarre behaviour.
Star/sticker chart, yes have one at home as well it shows you are reinforcing the school regime. ( this will be recommended by behaviour support)The fact that your ds is talking about the sticker charts shows this is important to him and he wants to seen as trying to do well. This is excellent postive praise and this goes a long way at school and home. The fact that the school are doing this is good, what reward does he get at school?
You need reinforce positive behaviour to help bring about change this maybe hard if you work but ake grandparents to get involved and tell you of his positive behaviour that day. Diagnosed late last year- a long long wait for this- read all the infor you can buy a book- explosive child can buy on amazon is helpfula nd ives you case studies, it will tell you you need more than medication. larsxx

lars Thu 03-Mar-05 10:49:28

Sorry in a rush -- spellings!!!!

Cosmo74 Thu 03-Mar-05 14:51:41


The school does not give him daily rewards - they do however have a boy and girl star of the day each day - they get a little start badge to take home - DS has gotten this about 6 times this year already, we really spoil him when he get this - usually gets a new toy ( car of action figure) - if he gets above 6 stars a day he usually gets a special treat of a plain biscuit as we are cutting down on his sweet things/preservatives/colours etc...

DS does not have any other problems just his behaviour - his teacher actually says that he is very bright and ahead of most of his class in his letters numbers etc.. but when it comes to learning to read and write properly his behaviour/concentration may start to hold him back - which is why we are really keen to get him assessed ASAP.
We have had problems with homework this last few weeks as one part is that he has to try and write a sentence about his reading book but we are not allow to help him with spelling he has to write the letters by the sound of the word and he just keeps saying that he wants to copy it from his reading book or that he doesn't know how to do it - the last 2 weeks have ended up with DS in tears and me and hubby having a row over it. I don't kow how to deal with this - he is only 5 - surely he should not be expected to be able to spell words by himself - or am I just making excuses??

coppertop Thu 03-Mar-05 15:43:27

The first thing I would say is that the Head has absolutely no right to be dx'ing him with anything - unless they also happen to be a fully qualified Paed or of a similar profession.

I'm not sure I understand the different stages. Is this the equivalent of our School Action/School Action Plus/ Statemented system? If so then you don't necessarily need to move through each one in order and there are no rules about having to wait a year at each stage. Ds1 was dx'ed with ASD at 3.5yrs while he was at pre-school. He went straight to Early Years Action Plus (pre-school equivalent of School Action Plus). We questioned whether he would need a statement for school and it was decided that SA+ would be enough to give him the support he needs. I fully agreed with this and in the 6 months or so that he's been at school this has been enough for him. He gets the support he needs but without having someone with him all the time.

Again when ds2 starts at pre-school (preliminary dx of ASD) he will be going straight on to Action Plus.

I think expecting them to write sentences so soon sounds a bit harsh - especially if it is so obviously beyond your ds. I'm not a teacher but would have thought that homework should be set at a level that the child can cope with.

MeerkatsUnite Thu 03-Mar-05 16:19:21


I would also give IPSEA a call ( as it to me sounds like you are being messed around by the school. Would agree with Coppertop's reply in its entireity. I would also add that this Headmistress has not right to diagnose your son with anything because she is not qualified to do so.

Have you contacted ERIC re the bedwetting?. They may be able to help you.

I wish you well

MeerkatsUnite Thu 03-Mar-05 16:20:43 may be able to give you all some help and advice.

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