Really scared about my DD's op on monday, feel like I can't hand her over

[used2bthin]

She is two and has a condition that makes her more vulnerable so anaesthetic is probably more risky for her although obviously they wouldn't do it if it was that risky as the op is something that has to be done but could be done now or any time in the next few years. I think its the choice thing that is upsetting me, I mean what if something went wrong and I have chosen for her to have this? Just can't function properly atm, one minute I am throwing myself into looking for a new car or shopping for whatever, the next I am convinced its all going to go wrong on monday and feel like being sick. I wish it was just monday in a way but don't want it to come too iyswim. I am also scared she'll get a cold or something and not be able to have it like happened last year several times before she actually had her anaesthetic. I wish I was religious.

[saint2shoes]

oh poor you. nt or sn it is a horrid time and I feel for you.
can I just send you lots of big

[used2bthin]

Thank you. She is both NT and SN I feel if that akes sense. Medically very SN bless her. So scary and lonely sometimes isn't it? I feel I am losing the plot as keep getting really over hyped about stupid stuff, I bought a load of new clothes for myself monday some of which has to go back as I can't actually afford it it was like comfort shopping! Also been comfort eating which is not good. Feel so on edge like I could lose it at some poor friend or other for just saying the wrong thing which of course people do, accidentally all the time. Got really ridiculously upset tesday because I met up with a friend and her DD had a slightly runny nose, I cried all the way home in the car as felt guilty that I'd exposed DD to it (albeit by accident, I had told my friend I really am avoiding people with colds). Oh dear none of this must make sense just needed to tell someone!

[TotalChaos]

you poor thing, it's going to be a stressful time, accept you're going to be comfort eating/shopping and feeling wobbly till you've got through the op.

[used2bthin]

Thanks yes I suppose I have to kind of go with it. It seems ages till sunday/monday(going in sun for bloods, obs etc)in terms of avoiding bugs anyway it does but then I keep feeling so guilty that I am letting them put her through so much in just a few days time and she has no idea. She doesn't talk at all yet(not related to her condition) well just a couple of words but seems to understand a lot of what we say maybe I should tell her about what is going to happen? When to tell her though? Any ideas?

[TotalChaos]

does she already know a lot about going to hospital anyway? I think Usborne do a little picture book in their first experiences series about going to Hospital that might be useful to talk through with her.

[used2bthin]

I had a thread about hospital books a while ago actualy and didn't find anything but I will google usbourne now, thanks. She has been in hospital quite a bit and has regular bloods etc so is familiar with the place and some of the staff but still feel I should warn her. We haven't actually had to stay in overnight since January thankfully so she won't like the overnight bit. I am also (from experience) worried that they will not be organised and will mess us about with the bloods etc. I think I might ring the ward tomorrow then her consultant if necessary to check what is actually happening with that. I often get treated like a pushy parent but then things haven't been organised that should have been so its lucky I did push if that makes sense. Well I'm sure it does on this board I know many on here have to fight for things thier childen need.

[madmouse]

Just saying you do make sense and I would feel the same. thinking if you and dd

[coppertop]

Used2bthin

Good luck to both you and dd. xxx

[used2bthin]

Thanks madmouse. I am glad I make sense I am all over the place atm. The worst is that this is the relatively minor op, she'll have a bigger mush more invasive one next year. One step at a time though. She was under for two hours last year while they looked inside her to see what would need doing with this op so I am worried about what I will be like handing her over and what I will do when she is actually under. It doesn't help that XP and I are not together now so not much support emotionally. We sometimes argue in hospital situations too but will be very careful not to do that this time.

[used2bthin]

Thanks coppertop. Wow I can't stop talking tonight I always think y posts through so carefully and am just saying whatever comes into my head tonight its helpful though.

[TotalChaos]

www.amazon.co.uk/Going-Hospital-Usborne-First-Experiences/dp/0746066589/ref=pd_cp_b_3?pf_rd_p=212521&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 391&pfrds=center-41&pfrdt=201&pfrdi=074606702X&pfrdm=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pfrdr=1TTBT2BW28A1FPSD RCEQ

this is the one I was thinking of

[used2bthin]

Thanks so much TotalChaos I think I will try to get that, and maybe the topsey and Tim one too. I'm sure I had the topsey and Tim one I can rememner being desperate to go to hospital lol! Only prob is my card is under my bed somewhere so going to have to drag everything out to find it(lost it mon night whilst on here and shopping for bras, told you I was all over the place!)

[BriocheDoree]

[Woooozle100]

And good luck and kind thought vibes off me too

[used2bthin]

Thanks I think my DD is getting a cold so am so scared it will turn into one and the op will get cancelled. Really really upset.

[used2bthin]

I'm really hoping so Tclanger, I'm trying to get her to take echinasia but she is refusing it. Which for a child who had to take medicine 8 + times a day from birth that is really something! She has definately got a blocked nose today so not looking good. It so typical, can't stand having to go through the whole thing again and also it will put her next, more serious op back too. I know its not necessarily caught from them but am really wishing I didn't meet up with my friend on tuesday.

[used2bthin]

I'm really hoping so Tclanger, I'm trying to get her to take echinasia but she is refusing it. Which for a child who had to take medicine 8 + times a day from birth that is really something! She has definately got a blocked nose today so not looking good. It so typical, can't stand having to go through the whole thing again and also it will put her next, more serious op back too. I know its not necessarily caught from them but am really wishing I didn't meet up with my friend on tuesday.

[siblingrivalry]

Good luck on Monday will be sending positive thoughts your way. x

[Seuss]

Good luck for Monday!

[PheasantPlucker]

Very best of luck for Monday x

[Bumblelion]

Good luck for Monday.

I feel for you as I have been there with my DD and it is a horrible feeling.

[used2bthin]

Thank you for the messages of support it is really helpful. She has got a blocked nose so I am really finding it hard to face the fact that she may well not be having this op. I suppose it has stopped me worrying about the op itself but am so depressed at the thought of waiting for anohter date that both surgeons can do, having the run up to it again etc etc. This happened so many times last year and its so hard. I'm afraid I texted the frind I met tuesday and said not to come today and said she has a cold now. I know she didn't necessarily catch it from them but I'm so upset that I risked it.

[Saggarmakersbottomknocker]

used2bthin - sorry you're having a tough time. It's so hard, handing them over for surgery especially if it isn't of immediate need. And then getting your head sort of around it but being cancelled/having to put it off. dd is at risk under GA and she's had a couple of ops over the last 2 years. It really stressed me out - more so in someways than her cardiac stuff because that's a 'no choice' type thing. The 'what if it's the wrong decision' thoughts are hard to deal with - especially being on your own. Have you got some other support?