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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

I just attract them!!!!

(17 Posts)
eidsvold Mon 28-Feb-05 04:06:32

After my supermarket gem I thought I would share the next episode of people's comments with you....

Had a physio and ot visit our playgroup last week. The Physio obviously is not one for winning friends. Her first interaction with me consisted of the following -

'who owns that bum shuffling child?' To which I proudly said - she would be mine. I then got a lecture about the importance of crawling (as in hands and knees etc - a good five minutes) i tried to tell her that dd1 does crawl a lot at home where it is nice carpet but not really on horrid concrete.....

Second comment - 'do you always encourage her to sit like that?' ( as in the wrong way!!) to which I replied dd1 does not need encouragement to do anything - she just does it......Thought the way dd1 was sitting was good as she had a stable base etc.....

SHe also said she thought dd1 would not have very good trunk rotation doing the bum shuffling and reaching that way.... another mum came to my resuce and pointed out if she watched dd1 she would see that dd1 had very good trunk rotation.

I finally took a breath and explained to the physio that considering dd1 had only had 6 sessions of physio - equalling about 3 hours in total and that six months ago she was just commando crawling... I thought she had made great progress..

then if that wasn't enough and I wasn't feeling like the crappest mum around... she starts on dd2 and wanting to know if I am giving dd2 tummy time - not really she hates being on her stomach.... makes her scream her head off... I persevere for a few seconds and then put her on her back or recline her in a position she likes. After I told her this she again lectured me on the importance of dd2 having tummy time or she will end up with delayed development at 6 months and no real shoulder strength.

Wow - pick on me - yes I am a Baaaaaddddddddd mother poor dd2 being dragged everywhere for dd1's things.... she will end up delayed as well after spending what seems like forever sleeping in a pram or a car......

suzywong Mon 28-Feb-05 04:13:57

bloody oath!

what a thoroughly unpleasant woman

It is incredible that some healthcare professionals seem to have b een absent during the bedside manner classes during their training

KarenThirl Mon 28-Feb-05 06:53:58

I think I'd be tempted to make a complaint to her seniors. There's no way she should be allowed to speak to a client like that. Fair enough, she felt she had to draw attention to certain facts, but there's a better way to do it.

Hope it didn't upset you too much.

Jimjams Mon 28-Feb-05 09:08:52

good grief. does she harangue mothers of noramlly developing kids and crap on about tummy time to them. None of mine have liked being on their tummy's much - maybe that's why ds1 is autistic.

heaven forbid she could be encouraging.

Actually people like this really piss me off- ok you have the strength and the support to deal with it but it can floor you if you're having a tough time anyway.

Twiglett Mon 28-Feb-05 09:21:40

tummy time is complete and utter bollocks and makes no difference .. if the baby likes it fine, if the baby doesn't then there will be a stage when they will


complain eidsvold, loudly and proudly .. you are doing a wonderful job and she was just an oaf

Merlot Mon 28-Feb-05 09:23:26

What a horrible experience .

It brings me back to something I was discussing with a RL friend at the weekend - why do some people go into the health care profession?

You occasionally get your Florence Nightingales and there are some real gems around, but why, oh why, do some people enter a profession which they dont seem to enjoy and are clearly not suited to? Power maybe? The ability to laud it over everyone?

When I had ds2 I was on the same ward as a first time mum who had just had twins - I watched in disbelief as this young, stroppy midwife argued with her as to why her twins were not in the same cot. The mum replied that another midwife had suggested they would be better in two cots as they kept disturbing each other. The midwife said `rubbish' and was about to move them, when the mum stuck up for herself and said - I actually would prefer it if they were in two cots thanks. I mean WHO exactly do some of these people think they are? Yes, they are qualified and yes they have very useful and important information to impart but they are not GOD and we are not specks of muck from their shoes!!

Rant over

coppertop Mon 28-Feb-05 09:27:13

And this woman calls herself a professional???

Neither of mine were interested in tummy time. Shame on me for not forcing them to do it, eh? Neither of them have physical problems.

If you've got the energy for it I'd complain.

chonky Mon 28-Feb-05 09:40:36

That's terrible Eidsvold. If you can find the energy do complain, that sort of behaviour should be picked up on.

MandM Mon 28-Feb-05 10:03:50

Eidsvold - it makes me sooo angry to read about these so-called professionals being able to treat people in this way. You sound like a fantastic mum who is doing everything possible for both of her dds.
Since having dd I have come across so many healthcare workers, who admittedly may be 'experts' in their particular field, but for whom the concepts of 'communicating appropriately' and 'pitching information at the right level' are just completely alien. I have taken the opportunity to complain on several occassions (although not directly - I have to think about it, form my case in my own head then take the complaint to someone not directly involved - cowardly I know but still effective).
I have so far refused to have any further involvement with one particular SALT (a SALT ffs who can't communicate with a child!!!!!) and an OT that conducted a two minute assessment as dd was unwell and tired, and then proceeded to write a two sided report of all the things she didn't do - she didn't do them because we were in the car on the way home ! Anyway, as a result, we now have a fantastic, fantastic SALT (I can't praise her enough) and no OT .
And then, oh joy oh joy, dh got randomly selected last week (1 of only 800 in the whole region) for an opinion survey on NHS service providers. The last page had the message 'If you have any additional comments please continue on a separate sheet' - we used 3!!!!!!

Merlot Mon 28-Feb-05 11:37:17

LOL MandM at your 3 sheets - Good for you!!

eidsvold Mon 28-Feb-05 11:42:38

good for you mandm.... we too had the chance to comment on dd1's hospital stay when she was having heart surgery - we had some very postive things to say and some that really needed to be dealt with. We too filled pages!!

MandM Mon 28-Feb-05 13:45:50

Eidsvold - I'm just going to CAT you, if that's ok. I've got a quick question that you might be able to help me with. Thank you

heartinthecountry Mon 28-Feb-05 15:03:58

Oh FFS! Eidsvold you did very well not to tell her where to stick her 'tummy time'. How on earth does she think speaking to you like that is supporting or helping anyone? She obviously has NO idea whatsoever what it is like to be the parent of a child with SN or she would realise just how upsetting that would be. Very on your behalf.

MummytoSteven Mon 28-Feb-05 15:06:02

she decided to interfere and comment on DD2 (who I presume isn't her client/patient whatever the jargon is). awful young/middleaged/old boot!

my HV was exactly the same about tummy time - made me feel like an appalling mum for not wanting to make DS go on his tummy and scream his head off! agree with twig that they'll do it when they are ready.

ThomCat Mon 28-Feb-05 20:26:36

OMG! 'Who owns that bum shufflin g child'!!!
I have so many things flying through my mind at the moment with regard to that. I can't believe that anyone would say that to you. You poor thing, I'm so sorry.

What are you supposed to do exactly, upu can only encorage crawling and sitting differently but you cannot force it. Lottie has always bum shuffled and crawls now and then and has always sat with her legs crossed, therefore creating a wide berth and making her feel safer. That's just the way it is and she'll walk when she's ready with gentle, patient encouragement, jnust like your DD will.

You're doing an amazing job Edisvold and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. That woman was an unprofessional old bitch who doesn't get enough sex or happiness in her life

Lots of love to you and the family, TC x

eidsvold Mon 28-Feb-05 21:19:44

tbh - I can see how much progress dd has made in the nine months we have been here and she has been having regular input of therapy.... despite two major upheavals in her little life ie being dragged halfway across the world and leaving anything she has ever known to live somewhere else and having a new sibling... I think she is doing bloody marvellous.

Dh was more annoyed than I was.... I kind of laughed it off and chatted with another mum( have become good friends with) who also goes to playgroup - made me feel better......

eidsvold Mon 28-Feb-05 21:39:07

MandM that is fine to CAT

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