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should staff be allowed to discuss us

(45 Posts)
saint2shoes Thu 25-Sep-08 11:28:49

on countless threads I have seen the oh so and works with dc's with sn, and then they use something(usually negative) to bolster their argument.
Imo IT IS DISGUSTING TO THINK THAT STAFF(oops) discuss our burdens outside of school to all and sundry and pisses me of when people use these "facts".
what do you think??

hecate Thu 25-Sep-08 11:31:31

I think that people are always going to talk about their jobs and the problems and challenges as well as the good stuff and as long as they don't breech confidentiality by disclosing identifiable stuff, then there's not much that we can do about it. I also think that if I came across anyone who works with my kids, slagging them off in any way, I'd tear them a new arsehole! grin

helpfulornot Thu 25-Sep-08 11:35:35

Agree Hecate, as long as they don't breach confidentiality I don't see how a "ban" could be enforced or policed.

But saying that, it is unprofessional to be on a public, non-professional forum like MN and discuss their jobs and patients!

harleyd Thu 25-Sep-08 11:39:16

why should people not be allowed to discuss?
obviously not using details, or giving out info
should they not be allowed to be upset because one of their children isnt getting the help they so need
or should they not be able to come home and tell how they were so proud of one of the kids in their class for achieving something they never were expected to do?

hecate Thu 25-Sep-08 11:40:44

Or even complain that they've had a hell of a day!! I can imagine my kids LSAs going home, sinking into a chair and begging someone, anyone, to bring them a brandy! grin

lou031205 Thu 25-Sep-08 11:42:54

I think that general stuff can be helpful to a parent who comes on here for advice. However, I do think that a description of a specific incident or event that a person may be able to recognise as involving their DC is WRONG.

I must admit that the other evening, I was with a friend in a group, and the subject of an individual came up. Myself and another friend knew the child in one capacity, and the friend was talking about the child in the context of where she knows him from (both capacities are 'official', as in we know this child because of our role in a setting).

Although she was being completely 'innocent' in describing some of the child's behaviours, and she knew that we had extensive experience of the child, I did feel that it breached the child's confidentiality by discussing stuff we really shouldn't know about. I am still to decide whether to say something sad

SaintRiven Thu 25-Sep-08 11:53:43

don't think its just SN staff. I have friends who are teachers and they say appaling things about the kids and the parents. I cringe inside and ask them to bitch elsewhere.

cyberseraphim Thu 25-Sep-08 12:26:46

We (DH and I) talk about students (some with SN) quite frequently but I would never post anything on an internet forum even if it was anonymised. We don't say horrible things though (but maybe that's because we're saints) but it's natural to want to discuss issues.

dustystar Thu 25-Sep-08 13:00:07

Its sad but I think inevitable. Some children are incredibly hard work and I guess teachers need to vent just like parents do. It should be kept within the staffroom really though and not discussed with poeple from outside of the school. I know that ds, as much as I love him and as rewarding he can be to work with, frequently makes me want to scream so I imagine that he tests his TAs and teachers patience daily.

Peachy Thu 25-Sep-08 13:08:12

Well you cant stop people talking but what teachers (sw, etc etc etc) sould remember is that they are not the parents. They see a percentage only of that child- in a setting which doesn't necessarily reflect that childs self.

And they also see the parents in artificial circumstances- esp wrt sn as many parents are edgy at schools after untold problems.

So thet cant really make a holistic judgement can they?

@I'm surprised jonny is on ritalin because he seems fine at school' is one thing; 'parents are using ritalin to keep their kid quiet because they cant be bothered. I now, i've seen it' is quite another.

(that wasnt drected at you harley- ritalin only example I can think of)

Romy7 Thu 25-Sep-08 14:13:18

it is soooooo easy to do though.
i used to work as an lsa and was chatting to an old colleague at the school gate about the changes to her hours etc. she told me the subjects and year groups she was covering this term and i got really excited as it was apparent she had picked up a couple of my ex-studes. totally without thinking i blurted out 'oo, oo, have you got x, how is he doing?' in a really excited and unprofessional manner, as i was so thrilled he had a good lsa working with him.
<i then crawled off home red-faced, hoping no-one had heard me, and have been mortified on and off ever since> fortunately she just gave me the eyebrow, which shows that the right one of us is still in the job grin
that said, i'm not overly bothered about anyone discussing dd2, as long as it's all factually correct, lol. and in some cases it can be helpful as staff can info share - that's what this whole site is about, isn't it, anonymously of course? or is it not as bad when they are discussing an NT child - reading levels and so on...?

saint2shoes Thu 25-Sep-08 15:18:53

SO IT IS OK FOR MRS x to use your child as an example on a discussion on a talk board to win an arguement?

Romy7 Thu 25-Sep-08 15:40:27

well, it would help if i knew what the context was, but if it was a 'kids with x don't do that' and someone had witnessed a kid with x doing 'that' (even if it was my/ your kid), then, er, probably... but without a context it's difficult to judge really...

anonandlikeit Thu 25-Sep-08 16:32:07

General discussion about a child with x or y condition is difficult to stop but Anything that breaches that childs right to confidentiality is just wrong!

I know i've said this on here before, but on more than one occasion i've heard parents at the dc's school who are also employed as ta's there openly discuss childrens behaviour with other parents.
On one occasion one ta was discussing how repulsed she was by a child with sn's nappy that day.
Totally, totally WRONG.

dustystar Thu 25-Sep-08 16:34:48

Thats horrible anonangry

Thats a hard one 2shoes. If its just to prove a point then of course its wrong but if its to help or give advice and support and there are no details given that could identify the child then I'm not so sure.

dustystar Thu 25-Sep-08 16:36:52

Sorry 2shoes quick hijack but I am bouncing again and I don't know why. I only posted yesterday <<sob>> I wanted to rant!!

dustystar Thu 25-Sep-08 16:48:50

OK have managed to rant now but do you know why it keeps bouncing me? I'm getting a complexgrin

wannaBe Thu 25-Sep-08 16:56:50

I think it comes down to identifyability (is that even a word?)

I think that when you're in a situation where you are privy to information about a child which is not common knowledge, then discussing that information with people who are not in a position to have access to it is wrong, be that in the playground/down the pub or on an internet forum. And I think that goes for any child, not just ones with sn.

I think the difference though between discussing in the playground and on the net is that in the playground you potentially know who you're talking to. On the internet you have no idea who might be reading, and recognizing the children you are talking about.

saint2shoes Thu 25-Sep-08 17:03:53

(dusty have checked and it has no record of you being bounced, what is happening)

dustystar Thu 25-Sep-08 17:06:22

I don't know 2shoes. I think yahoo hates me.

saint2shoes Thu 25-Sep-08 17:16:43

aww I am sure it doesn't, but It can't be lying it says 0 bounces

dustystar Thu 25-Sep-08 17:20:32

It told me that I had several bounces just in the last few days and that i couldn't post today because I was bouncing. When i looked at which group members were bouncing though I wasn't on the list. All very strange.

saint2shoes Thu 25-Sep-08 17:52:38

tbh I have no idea what bouncing means blush

SaintRiven Thu 25-Sep-08 17:54:58

its what you do ona trampoline grin

saint2shoes Thu 25-Sep-08 17:57:10

spooky I just posted about bouncing on a trampolins on that 101 things a dc should do thread.

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