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AIBU to object to being told how I should think

(172 Posts)
2shoes Fri 19-Sep-08 11:04:06

that I should not be joyful or positive about dd and her disabilitie, that I should post doom and gloom, as if I don't I am only showing a biased veiw.
I don't seem to be allowed to post that my life is good, that I am happy and dd is a pleasure.

dustystar Fri 19-Sep-08 11:08:42

Has someone upset you 2shoes? Ignore idiots who tell you how you should feel. They don't know you or your dd. I think its great that yuo feel the way you do and your dd is very lucky to have such a lovely mumsmile

coppertop Fri 19-Sep-08 11:10:29

YABU. You know very well that you should wear black at all times (preferably with a veil) and weep delicately into a hankie. We should never forget our burdens. hmm

deeeja Fri 19-Sep-08 11:12:00

No, definately not unreasonable. It is good to post joyful positive posts. I love readin other people's positive stories. Even if my ds's are having a bad day, or month, it warms my heart to think of other children doing well.
Please post positive posts, it is fantastic reading them.

2shoes Fri 19-Sep-08 11:12:09

oh does that mean ds is ok, he wears balck all the time

vicsta Fri 19-Sep-08 11:12:18

What?????? Who said that, have I missed a thread? The only things that keep me going are DSs little milestones. He held a toy for the first time yesterday and I am sooo proud. He is an absolute joy to have around, smiley and giggly with his own little way of doing things. Yes it is bloody hard sometimes when he's having a bad time, but its also brilliant. He's brilliant and I'm glad he's in my life and so proud of all his efforts. Perhaps someones having a shit day, don't take it personally. I am always sad when someone posts about the bad times, but surely we should share the good times too, even if they are few and far between.

coppertop Fri 19-Sep-08 11:13:08

Your ds wears black because his life has been wrecked.

<peers sternly at 2shoes>

coppertop Fri 19-Sep-08 11:15:01

I should probably add, just in case anyone finds this thread in the archives at some point, that I'm referring to something from another thread.

Just in case you all think I'm being heartless and cruel. blush

Twiglett Fri 19-Sep-08 11:15:28

ROFL at coppertop grin grin

2shoes Fri 19-Sep-08 11:16:48

vicsta that is brilliant.
copper yes poor lad life has been wrecked, it is so sad, I mean having a sibling you adore and adores you

vicsta Fri 19-Sep-08 11:17:00

Just peeked at DD on your profile. Could she be anything other than a pleasure? Such a lovely photo.

Peachy Fri 19-Sep-08 11:20:46

YANBU
it works both ways. With Harry and his regressions, I find its easiest not to get tooe xcited about milestones- how many times has he lost his toilet training? A bit of scepticism about permanence protects me from yet another heartbreak, but I get told to be more positive.

I am positive about harry, he's fab and he's my baby- as for the rest, I'll beleive it when I can see it lasting more than 6 moths!

2shoes Fri 19-Sep-08 11:30:11

be careful though peachy. people read sn posts and then use them to bolster their arguements on other threads.

Peachy Fri 19-Sep-08 11:31:59

Bugger that- the whole point is that we all cope differently.

Anyway if they piss me off I will send Sam in to sort them out- that should scare anyone wink LOL

Soapbox Fri 19-Sep-08 11:34:47

Interesting - that isn't how I read it (wrt the other thread). I read it as 'although you are happy, you shouldn't assume that that is how every one looking after a child with disabilities feels'.

bubblagirl Fri 19-Sep-08 11:36:09

no i completely agree at the end of the day we cant change our chuildren and as humans we love them no matter what no point in feeling doom and gloom all the time when every day they bring an eliment of joy into our lives

i get told off for saying i feel blessed to have ds why feel blessed to have child with sn but i do he helps me see the world 2 ways and i wouldnt have that gift if i didnt have him

its made me a nicer more thoughtful person and to not judge others on why or how they do things as who knows why they may have to do it that way as with my ds i have to do things certain ways for him

but most of all i love my child unconditionally and even on our bad days i still wouldnt change him i accept him for him his challenges and all

my ds brightens my day and i relish every milestone he he meets no matter how trivial to others its called being a mum a good one

bubblagirl Fri 19-Sep-08 11:39:10

i understand completely though with other peoples dc with sn have a much harder time than me so wont think the way i do as my struggles are not the same but when i speak i speak for myself and dont want to affend anyone else

but its about free speech and expressing on the one thread that should understand we all have differences we all see things differently and thats why this thread is so good as alot of us even if we dont agree can still support each other as we are all struggling in some way and somewhere can all relate on something

Peachy Fri 19-Sep-08 11:41:34

2shoes- your last post- were you telling me how to think? wink wink grin

its quite possible to differentiate the total love and adoration one has for their child sn or not with individual concerns and worries about progress. I cherish ds3 as he is, I dnt focus on milestones with him becuiase there are no guarantees and I find heavy focus then knocks me when he does regress. but I get so much joy from him- his beautiful personality, sense of humour etc- the 'needs' are just the window dressing anyway.

probably doesnt make sense.

2shoes Fri 19-Sep-08 11:55:21

soapbox I read it more as...you should post the neagatives as by posting the positives you are giveing a biased veiw.
I was "told off" for saying my family was normal.

BriocheDoree Fri 19-Sep-08 12:02:11

What, 2shoes, you mean you don't all have two heads and green skin that glows in the dark grin grin

2shoes Fri 19-Sep-08 12:04:41

<<<<<checks mirror>>>>>>>

FioFio Fri 19-Sep-08 12:05:38

Message withdrawn

dustystar Fri 19-Sep-08 12:30:44

Thats a good point about making you see things differently bubblagirl. I think that having ds has made me far less judgemental of other people and more understanding.

2shoes Fri 19-Sep-08 12:46:17

Oh sorry fio I forgot about china

coppertop Fri 19-Sep-08 13:24:53

I happen to know that this is what 2shoes really looks like. wink

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