IEP at pre-school

[lou031205]

Hi, as far as I know, DD1 (2.9) is NT. But today, her pre-school, which she has attended for 8 weeks, since June, have called me to one side.

They said that as Millie is 'behind' in her development, they feel that she would benefit from an IEP, and that they feel she needs 1:1 during the free-play time at pre-school.

They are referring her to the Inclusion Officer? for assessment. They hope to secure funding for 1:1 during all her pre-school sessions.

Does anyone have any advice? How unusual, or usual, is it for a pre-schooler who appears to be NT in general to be flagged for 1:1?

(I am posting in 2 topics because I wasn't sure where to put it!)

[TotalChaos]

have they specified in what respect they feel she is behind? what is happening during free play? Despite having a glaringly severe speech delay at 3 and being referred to the inclusion officer no-one ever felt he needed 1 to 1.

[TotalChaos]

just having an IEP I wouldn't see as being that unusual for an NT kid - as they can be for all sorts of relatively minor issues from what I can gather - but I would be surprised at them looking for 1 to 1 if you'ld never had any prior concerns.

[lou031205]

Thank you for your replies

They have been very vague. They wanted to really reassure me that she is settling well, is adorable, etc. But said that she is 'behind'.

When she first joined the pre-school, I took the supervisor to one side, and mentioned that I had spotted a door propped open, that leads onto a concrete ramp. The ramp goes alongside the building, so you have to do a left turn as soon as you step outside. It is about 6-8 ft high. But, although there is a banister at adult chest height, DD could run out the door and go straight over the edge. They reassured me that they would make sure it didn't happen again. A couple of weeks later, they commented that they 'saw what I meant' about her being so fast.

She was slow to walk, 23 months, and even now her running is 'interesting' - a bit like Phoebe from friends

She will often 'escape' in the free time & they find her playing in the bathroom with the taps. She likes interacting with people, but doesn't care about getting attention, so she will very quickly and quietly find something to 'explore' & they will not realise she has gone.

Her speech, I would say is fine for her age. She finds carpet time really hard, and although she does it, she is often sat on a teacher's knee, to keep her still. She finds it very hard that the free play stuff is out at the beginning of the session, but she can't play with it yet.

They have said that they feel they can't give her the attention she needs, and that when they do a craft with her 1:1 she loves it. They want to get funding so that they can bring in an extra member of staff on the days she attends, to allow her key worker to be 1:1 with her during free-play.

[lou031205]

At home, I would describe her as 'high maintenance' but thoroughly lovely, funny and affectionate.

She often does things that she knows are 'naughty', such as pouring the contents of her potty on her sheet, or putting a toy in her wee. But she seems to have a compulsion to do so.

[lou031205]

bump for worried mummy

[lou031205]

anyone....

[deeeja]

Hi Lou. I went through similar for my 5 year old ds. I thought he wa a little high-maintenance and alittle exciteable at home, then at pre-school I was told that he would need a 1;1. It was a little shocking,and I sort of buried my head in the sand, particularly since I could see that my younger ds had developmental problems that were more apparent. My 5 year old had problems at pre-school because he couldn't cope with the other chidren and following instructions, he couldn't cope with carpet time and always needed extra attention which I could give at home (although exhausting) ut at pre-school it was difficult in a room of demanding pre-schoolers.
He is and always was a very bright boy, but he has aspergers+adhd. He needed the 1:1, even though it was extremely difficult for me to see at first (Iblamed his pre-school, then his nursery, then his reception teacher ) I am glad he has the extra help. In my experience pre-schools do not mention extra 1:1 unless they know the child will benefit from it.
Please don't worry, some children need a little extra help for a little while, and she may be fine and could have caught up with the other children in a year or so, and she will love the extra attention too.

[TotalChaos]

my experience is more of language delay than anything else - but off the top of my head I would wonder if your DD might have some sensory problems (that make her want to be in motion a lot) - you might find it useful to read the "out of synch child". Am surprised they are describing her as "behind" though - as it sounds like more of an attention issue than physical/speech problem.

[lou031205]

Thank you again for your responses. It has thrown me a bit, because up until now I thought that

a) She's 2.
b) She's an active child
c) I must just be a bad mum who can't keep my child under control.

It is exhausting at home. We have stair gates across her bedroom door, so she can't escape at night, the top and bottom of the stairs, the kitchen (so she can't get in and throw all of the dog food in his water bowl), and the porch (so she can't escape up the driveway and onto the road).

She does like to be moving a lot. Her favourite thing at the moment is running, and she will do things like roly-polys all the way home from pre-school. She will balance on the end of the sofa, and fall forwards onto it, or climb up on top of it. She often climbs on the dining room table in the lounge.

However, in the last 6 months or so, for the first time she has been interested in television. Until then she would never sit still enough to watch it. Now she will sit and watch programs.

TC, I would say you are right, although her delay in walking has shown itself in a marked immaturity in running, etc. She often falls because her legs do not seem to properly co-ordinate together. It is like she lifts them side to side, tipping her ankles out, rather than lifting at the knee.

But mentally I would say she is very bright. She is very inquisitive, and from an early age needed to know how things work. She would lift up the seat of her highchair to see where the strap located in the seat. She would get a pencil and try to undo screws on her toys, and if DH leaves a screwdriver in her reach she knows instinctively exactly what to do with it. She likes to take things apart, I think because she has to know what it is. It does mean that the craft she did in the morning rarely survives the day.

Sorry to go on. I just worry for her now, that maybe I haven't seen a major problem.

My brother-in-law said to my DH (not in my hearing) that we 'just need to be firmer with her' and that would sort her out, a few weeks ago. I am at a loss to know how I could be. If she behaves badly she sits on the naughty step. If she gets in a state she has to sit on the calm down chair until she can be calm. If she upsets someone she has to apologise, and she does. Smacking doesn't work for her - the compulsion to do whatever it is that she shouldn't be doing is just so big that it outweighs any discipline she knows it will lead to. She knows when she has been naughty, and sometimes she will even say "It's not funny, it's very very naughty."

[TotalChaos]

I don't know much about physical issues - but I wonder whether she might find it physically uncomfortable to be sat down for carpet time? Did you ever get a paed or physio referral for her walking/running problems?

[TotalChaos]

she is so young, she may well just be quirky rather than there being anything else going on. but given nursery's concerns, it is worth looking into things further I think.

[lou031205]

'Quirky' - I like that

Paed physio was involved for a short while at 18/19 months and they were going to prescribe piedros boots, in the October, but she started walking in the August, just before 23 months.

She has always been able to climb quite well, before walking. And she sits on the floor at home to play. I think I might see what the assessment brings, and then take the results to the HV for support.

I hope for her sake they get the funding they want, because I couldn't afford to pay them a supplementary fee for her 1:1, and I worry that if they don't get that, would they feel they couldn't have her at pre-school? And where would I stand with the fact that she would be entitled to the funded sessions if it wasn't for their concerns?

Probably getting a bit ahead of myself

[flyingmum]

It's brilliant they are so ahead of the game. A bit of one to one now will probablly solve many problems that might occur later on. She certainly does sound very active although it is difficult to diagnose at this age the difference between an energetic child and one who has potentional barriers to learning. Some of what you said rang bells with me though - the playing with the taps in particular and knowing how things work. She does sound a bit dyspraxic (because of the movement) and possibly (but not probablly) high functioning aspergers ish. But then again - may be not. I would let the nursery do their bit and get her properly assessed (if they feel there is still a prob) before thinking of infant school entry. I was very head in the sand when I was at your stage and I wish now I hadn't been because it caused more problems than it solved. I am lucky enough to be the mum of two chaps - the oldest of which is now the nicest 13 year old on the planet (even if he is being a bit teenagerish at the mo) and he has aspergers, dyspraxia, dyslexia plus some other stuff. The other pickle is NT and was very different to number 1 at 2. Had I had them the other way round I would have been able to tell much more easily. But hey ho.

Good luck

[TotalChaos]

I wouldn't worry, pre-school sound very switched on and alert as to how to get extra help funded.

[lou031205]

Thank you - one step at a time. I suppose it is just wait and see time. I will update this thread as I find stuff out.

Any other experiences or comments welcome

[lou031205]

I'd be surprised if she has aspergers, as she is very sensitive to people's mood. She can identify just from tone of voice if someone is sad, and will often say so. She also has a lot of empathy for others. Her Grandad has sore knees, and if he limps at all, she will say "Grandad knee sore?" and kiss it better.

She is also very perceptive regarding humour. She can tell from my inflection in my voice whether I am joking about something, even as simple as "You want a snack?" If I say it with a lilt in my voice, she cocks her head to one side, puts her hands on her hips and says "Yeeesss" with a huge grin and laughs.

She will often tell me that the baby has fallen over (13month DD2), and say "You alright, baby?" She has only recently mastered her name.

She also asks to play with her friends by name, even if we haven't seen them for days.

[lou031205]

Update here