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Am I being paranoid?

(8 Posts)
used2bthin Fri 12-Sep-08 14:23:35

I requested a second opinion from a surgeon about my DD's operation and had it wednesday and it all went well, the second surgeon will do the op with the first and is speaking to him about doing both procedures DD needs at once rather than two seperate ones as he wanted to do. Anyway, today we had an appointment with dermatology and the first surgeon was there doing his clinic so I bumped into him in the corridor. He completely blanked me. I'm pretty sure he saw me and DD has quite a rare condition so I'm also certain he would recognise him. So maybe he just didn't want to get into a conversation with me? I can't help feeling a bit upset as I'd hate to have offended him by getting the second opinion. I like him a lot and (stupidly) feel quite attached to him in a way because he saw us on the day DD was born and was always very reassuring about her. Would surgeons get offended like that? I hope not!

On a happier note, we got higher rate DLA awarded again so I'm very pleased and relieved about that.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Fri 12-Sep-08 14:36:06

You're paranoid! A second opinion is a fairly normal thing to ask for these days. I bet he just didn't see you (I can walk past my best friend so deep in thought that I don't notice her).

Don't worry at all.

used2bthin Fri 12-Sep-08 14:41:05

Thanks you are probably right. I hope lots of others do it. He has had to change what he first said to us about the way he was doing the op but I asked DD's endocrine consultant about it and it was her who said I needed a second opinion so it was unavoidable really. I'm sure he is above taking such things personally and probably couldn't care less what I think of him! He is retiring next year so we'll have the other one all the time from then. I am silly for worrying I am a bit of an emotional wreck atm though partly down to relief that the surgery decisions are now made or at least I've done my bit. Funny how relief sometimes makes everything feel worse initially!

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Fri 12-Sep-08 14:49:31

He's a consultant approaching retirement? My god his ego will be the size of a small city I suspect it would take more to bruise it, please don't worry.

How old is your dd? I used to be like that in the early days and worry about upsetting various people. Now I'm more confident about issues that on my children. Always polite, but I don't worry about professional egos iyswim.

used2bthin Fri 12-Sep-08 16:24:37

Lol you are right he doesn't seem lacking in confidence! In fact he was very unimpressed about me looking stuff up on the internet, I got the impression he thinks parents should do as they are told and not ask questions, bless him!

DD is going to be two next week so early days really. We seem to be acquiring specialists, today we have been seen as outpatients at dermatology and then had the constipation nurse over. Then got her two year check next week where she will(fingers crossed) be refered for speech therapy. That is as well as the surgeons and endocrine team who keep her on track so I am getting better at dealing with them and not feeling totally as if we are at their mercy iyswim. I am not naturally very good at confrontation but have had to learn to fight DD's corner in emergency situations which I hate. Has to be done though doesn't it? And I wouldn't change what I've done about the surgery as I'd have hated to send her off for something so serious if I hadn't done my best to ensure it was the right thing. Glass of wine this evening I think!

madmouse Fri 12-Sep-08 22:50:38

If you are not paranoid he is unprofessiona, swings and roundabouts. A doc who cannot take a second opinion has a problem.

Hec when my clients do not agree with my advice I encourage them to go. I give my best professional opinion so have nothing to fear. If I was wrong at least it is picked up.

used2bthin Fri 12-Sep-08 23:05:51

The thing is Madmouse that he was wrong in a way, in fact both the endocrine consultant and DD's support group leader advised me to get a second opinion as what I said he'd said didn't sound right to them. As it turned out, the second consultant said it was a misunderstanding that came about because he hadn't perhaps realised the amount of research we would do so had tried to use simple terms to describe the procedure, I then found out that the procedure he wrote to me and said she was booked in for, was outdated. So I am slightly worried that he was in fact in the wrong and that the second surgeon was covering for him by saying oh no he didn't really mean he wa going to do THAT procedure etc. Argh I really am paranoid! The endocrine consultant kept saying he won't mind you getting a second opinion, its almost expected etc etc so I'm sure he isn't worried and probably IF he saw me, he just thought oh no, I haven't got time to get caught up in conversation with her.

used2bthin Fri 12-Sep-08 23:18:11

I am going to stop worrying about it anyway. I'm so happy about the DLA thing, it is DD's birthday next sunday so lots to be thinking good thoughts about and she will be getting the wheely bug I've been umming and ahhing over for weeks now. I'll just have to hide it post op!

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