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Survey- would you feel comfy with this?

(17 Posts)
PeachySoLongAndTa4AllTheFish Wed 10-Sep-08 16:21:48

Just heard ds1's 1-1 may be assigned to another child. Her replacement is a Mum of a child in ds1's class.

Given that ds1 has in the past hurt her son (and she hasnt spoken to me since), and that ds1's needs are behavioural and often hard to discuss even with unknown people- lke threars to kill me- I don't think I am happy with her and her presence at reviews etc.

Any thoughts?

ChopsTheDuck Wed 10-Sep-08 16:24:40

I'd be concerned by the first aspect you mention primarily. If she has so little understanding/empathy of sn that she is not on talking terms because of your son's past behaviour, how on earth is she qualified to be his 1-1?
Can you object?

PeachySoLongAndTa4AllTheFish Wed 10-Sep-08 16:28:43

I don't think I could bject on this, but another Mum is objecting as A) why take the asd kids settled into 1-1 to give to a new non-asd child who (I know him) is happy and will accept anyone; and B) she has no qualifications and nly experience is 1 term teacher training before droppin out, and a year odd jobs. This group of kids include ds1, a needy Pdd-nos girl, and a child with severe home issues who is very demanding.

coppertop Wed 10-Sep-08 16:29:15

I wouldn't be happy with this. I would also question the wisdom of having a parent working in their own child's class. Would they not be more likely to be distracted if their own child is in the same room? If there were any incidents involving her son and ds1, would she be able to remain impartial?

I would also feel uncomfortable for the reaasons you mentioned, Peachy.

magso Wed 10-Sep-08 17:24:52

I would not be comfortable with a parent in their own childs class. It will be difficult for their child! And thats without looking at the issues for your child.

2shoes Wed 10-Sep-08 17:31:07

I wouldn't be happy with it.

Candlewax Wed 10-Sep-08 17:37:36

100% I would NOT be happy.

I think you should seriously object for lots of the reasons given here, especially the one about her working in her own child's classroom.

Tclanger Wed 10-Sep-08 17:41:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anonandlikeit Wed 10-Sep-08 18:55:40

I complained (discretely) at ds2's school as a parent who is also a part time 1 to 1 for another little boy was venting off in the playground at the end of the day about what a crap day she had at work, how she had to change 3 nappies & how he was so demanding etc, going into details about his needs.

I was so angry & sad for the little boy any privacy was lost, a real conflict of interest & very unprofessional.

TotalChaos Wed 10-Sep-08 19:28:08

100% not happy. Even if this lady were a saint, her professionalism would inevitably be hard to maintain if there were incidents involving your DS and hers.

siblingrivalry Wed 10-Sep-08 21:19:22

I wouldn't be happy. I would also be concerned about the confidentiality issues, as anon described.
Good luck, hope you manage to get sorted.

peachynana Wed 10-Sep-08 22:15:14

Hello - am new to MN, but have worked in special needs for over 20 years and my advice would be to express your concerns to the HT. If you don't get a satisfactory response, ask if you can make and appt to see the special needs governor.

In my experience, in most schools, it wouldn't be normal practice for a mother of a child in a class to work in the same class room as her child. I would think you would be right to assume she may not be able to be completely objective when it comes to your DS.

Good luck - let me know if there is anything more specific I can advise on.

daisy5678 Wed 10-Sep-08 23:38:18

Virtually all of J's (many many hmm ) TAs have been parents of children at the school and even in the yeargroup, but never in his class. I think that was bad enough due to confidentiality issues. However, this is a whole new level of wrongness!

I would start off with it all being about consistency and then lead on to the other stuff if necessary, but I'm sure the HT will get why you feel uncomfortable with it. I certainly would and did kind of block one person from working with J because she was very very indiscreet about everyone else's child and had a child in the same class as J.

Peachy Thu 11-Sep-08 12:18:59

OK thanks everyone. I know I ask a lot blush but sometimes I wonder if I am over reacting, my closest friend at the school (only) is a Governor and lets say DH isn't given to under reaction LOL! So mn is my pre-kick off sounding board.

Apparently its a cash thing; kid x needs a more experienced ta (not sure why- i've helped with this lad and he is fab. needs support yes but he's in no way a pita like ds1, i'd be honoured if he were mine) and as ds1 / ds2 stratements dnt specify 1-1 they'll be put with the existing group; head admits its cash apparently so what is he doing wth the statement money? only 2 out of 4 kds in this group are statemented, and whereas i support the others kids need for support I have no idea why funding for sam and the other girl, that we both fought for, is being used.

But head says he's not prepared to fund another ta- so whats he doing with the new kid money then? i know his statement is 34hrs. I also know they fought to keep him out the school (heard that at sn rugby- the sn grapevine!).

so far i've not been approached (other mum has) but ds1 refuses to work with this lady so if it is brought in it'll last te minutes no doubt

Peachy Thu 11-Sep-08 12:19:14

oh and hello new Peachy

Tclanger Thu 11-Sep-08 15:49:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peachy Thu 11-Sep-08 16:20:04

I did ask back along, I need to do it again I think- I can ask new kids mum (new kid an s2 frieds) as well

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