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Is this normal 5yr old, AS, or SB (spoilt brat) - and how do I stop it with either answer!!

(16 Posts)
Flamesparrow Wed 10-Sep-08 10:39:16

SB being Spoilt Brat wink

Flamechick tells me I am wrong and argues about it. This morning's example - people working in a garden. DS pointed them out. So I replied that they were gardeners.

DD: No they aren't they are builders.

Me: No, look, it says Gardeners on their van.

Cue her going on and on that they were builders and I was wrong.

I feel it is bloody rude to correct an adult (I will accept when I am wrong and say so - to her obv, never with DH wink). She argues that it isn't. angry I get worked up and it turns into this huge issue.

So.... is it a) rude, b) normal and/or c) hwo do I deal with it???

Marne Wed 10-Sep-08 10:50:28

Sounds normal to me (well normal for my 4.6 year old (as)dd)

DD argues about evrything, i just agree or ingnore her grin, i think sometimes she is just looking for an argument and because of her AS she always has to have the final word.

Sometimes i just think she is a spoilt brat and people that don't know she has AS must think she's rude or naughty.

Romy7 Wed 10-Sep-08 10:52:22

normal-ish in an exerting independence sort of way. but i would never get into an argument about it. i am the grown-up. <actually rofl at that idea but in theory it works if you say it over and over in your head>
just don't argue with him. he'll get nothing out of disagreeing with you then... grin
make your point and then leave it alone. <i would also have added in a very ungrown-up manner 'don't wory darling - they will teach you to read at school' and then refused to discuss any further.wink>
don't let it escalate - you have the power of silence, with a smile grin no matter how long he bangs on about being right.

Romy7 Wed 10-Sep-08 10:53:29

meant normal in an un-as way btw. all 3 of mine have done it at that point and we are allegedly as-free.

Flamesparrow Wed 10-Sep-08 10:53:32

pmsl @ "they'll teach you to read at school"

largeoneplease Wed 10-Sep-08 10:55:58

Sorry, but I think an adult who needs a 5yo to agree that she is right over such a trivial thing has a touch of SB syndrome wink As for how to stop it - pick your battles!!!

Flamesparrow Wed 10-Sep-08 11:04:09

It is the answering back than agreeing I am right wink

Niecie Wed 10-Sep-08 11:05:46

I think it may be normal, a bit attention seeking but normal.

My AS DS wouldn't do it but my NT DS would argue. He hates to be wrong and he can't read either yet so I can't appeal to his sense of logic(he's 5 on Sunday)

Actually he reminds me a lot of DHwink (although DH can of course read)

I would just say 'If thats what you think, OK but it says they are gardeners on the van' and then leave it at that. No room for argument, quick change of subject asap.

Unfortunately in our house DS1 would then probably try to 'convince' DS2 that he was wrong by arguing with him and then if that didn't work, it would turn into a shouting match, and quite possibly a wrestling match in the street.

All pretence of ignoring silliness of DS2 is lost.


Flamesparrow Wed 10-Sep-08 11:07:25

it is good to know it is an NT thing!! I feel like I have more of a handle on dealing with things that are NT blush

amber32002 Wed 10-Sep-08 11:37:32

Me, I'd be asking them why they thought they were builders not gardeners. There again, two aspies can argue each other to a standstill wink

Flamesparrow Wed 10-Sep-08 16:26:10

lol - sounds like fun grin

I am aware that I am too stubborn for my own good and sometimes I should let it slide, but it just feels like answering back <grr>

magso Wed 10-Sep-08 17:40:13

Flame this upsets me with ds too - it sounds so rude to tell an allknowing adult they are wrong! Agree that the answer is not to get drawn in - at all! Ds will try and try to get a rise. Sometimes it is a genuine confusion (he clearly thinks he is right), and sometimes he he try to argue black is white or more likely it is not bedtime yet! His teachers also comment.

largeoneplease Wed 10-Sep-08 19:12:01

Why is it that when it's our DC's it's answering back and when it's an adult, it's expressing their opinion? And at what age do they become entitled to their opinions?

mumslife Wed 10-Sep-08 19:13:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mimsum Wed 10-Sep-08 19:20:22

This is a real 'pick your battles' moment grin why on earth have an argument with any child AS or not over something so trivial - draw a line under it and refuse to get drawn in any further, you'll never win (in his mind) and it just teaches him that arguing till he's blue in the face is ok ...

FredAndGeorge Wed 10-Sep-08 19:22:24

In my defence - very little sleep, both kids had been hell all morning, and they were gardeners! wink

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