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Looking for advice - Is it ADD/ADHD?

(11 Posts)
Cosmo74 Mon 21-Feb-05 14:14:42

Hello all just found this site last week was posting on the behavioural board and thought I am probably more at home here.

History – I have 1 DS who is 5 today and I expecting my 2nd in August – my DS has always been a handful – but we thought he was just a typical wee boy – we found it very hard to toilet train him – especially for his poo’s he use to run and hid under a table or behind the door to do them – he still has problems in this area – I have to constantly remind him of the toilet or he leaves it until the last minute or tries to hold it in. He went to pre-school last year – but it was a new teacher, her first year doing pre-school and his whole class was mad – he started Primary 1 last September and about six weeks into the term we were called in to talk to his teacher and head mistress about his behaviour – disrupting class running about shouting etc.. they put him on a chart system were the day is broken up into five areas and he gets smiley faces for being good and sad faces for being bold, they also suggested that we change his diet – cut out all sweets, processed foods and anything with artificial sweeteners/preservatives, trouble with this is that he is a fussy eater and doesn’t really eat veg. apart from spuds and pickled beetroot which we were told was bad – he does eat a lot of fruit though – we are trying the diet but I know we do not stick to it as rigidly as we should as I allow him treats at the weekend if he has been good. He has got a new teacher at school who is really good and has a lot of patience with him – she suggested that we get him checked out for ADD/ADHD or something similar – she said that he is not a bold child he does not fight with other children etc..he also says sorry when he has done something bold and really does try hard some days to be very good but he really does lack concentration and demands a lot of attention – she is worried that when it comes to learning to read and write properly he will not have the concentration to do this and his behaviour may hold him back then. Both me and his dad work and he is minded by his grandparents – most days he is a handful running about shouting and not listening to you – he isn’t so bad when he is one to one with you and I find that I can deal with him alot better when it is just the two of us, but it will not be like that for much longer.

I started him on Omega-3 fish oils on Saturday – hoping this will help his concentration but do not know if it will help his behavioural problems – I took him to the doc last week and she has sent a referral letter to the hospital but it could take about a year to get seen.

Better stop waffling now – just wanted to give as much info as possible and ask what do you think ? Do you think it could be ADD/ADHD is there anything else I could try?

Thanks in advance for any advice given.

MrsFROSTgetful Mon 21-Feb-05 17:24:21

BUMPing this up for you..... i will post later-i have 3 boys 1 ADHD and 1 looking like he has it....and 1 ADD????

Davros Mon 21-Feb-05 17:31:58

Hi Cosmo, I don't know much about ADD and ADHD but can your GP refer you to the Child Development Centre? I reckon you are in Ireland (or maybe you are Irisih living in UK?), the word "bold" takes me back to my childhood! I don't know the system in Ireland if that's where you are. SOunds like you could benefit from seeing a Clinical Psychologist. Fish oils should help and sounds like his teacher is good. There are other MNers who know more about AD(H)D. Just wanted to say welcome too!

coppertop Mon 21-Feb-05 17:51:49

I don't have any experience of ADD/ADHD but just wanted to say hello and welcome to the SN board.

JaysMum Mon 21-Feb-05 19:15:19

Hi Cosmo and welcome.

Have you read the book Understanding ADHD by Chris Green?.....a good book to get a copy of...lots of info and copeing strategies.

Fran1 Mon 21-Feb-05 19:45:21


From what you say, there is nothing that stands out and scream ADHD to me. The pooing situation is very common. And the first year your son had at school with a new teacher, could be another reason for his lack of concentration (hasn't been "shown" how hes meant to behave at school ifykwim. Of course its impossible to say without meeting a child, and i hope your appt will come sooner than a year! but your son sounds like your average five year old to me!!

Cosmo74 Tue 22-Feb-05 09:49:04

My oh my thanks for the warm welcome.

Davros you are on the ball - I am from Ireland - up North - I would like him to see a child psychologist but that is what I am waiting on the appointment for from the doc. I asked about going private and the doc. said that because of the system it is not possible but when I get the letter from the hospital I will inquire about it again.

Jaysmum - I haven't got the book we wanted to know what if anything was wrong with him before starting any new changes. Sometimes I feel that too much emphasis is put on how he behaves - like he is constantly being watched and monitored - his old teacher use to tell me every little wrong doing he done in school - one day he was punished badly for jumping in puddles at lunchtime - when I enquired there was a few boys doing this but our DS seemed to be the only one that a big deal was made off it, I just thought well if you send boys out to play after it was raining and there are puddles what is going to happen??

Sometimes I just feel guilty as there are days when all everyone seems to do is shout and discipline him and I sit at night thinking will he look back and think his childhood was unhappy?

On a happy note he got 10 stars yesterday in school ( that is the maximum) and he got Star Boy of the day!! And that was after his birthday party and all the sweets/cake on Sunday, we made a big fuss over him last night so maybe things will change or maybe the sweets will kick in today – fingers crossed that he has a good day today.

Thanks again everyone

Davros Tue 22-Feb-05 10:22:36

Don't know why Doc says not possible to go private. Of course you can but I think everyone would still say to stay in the NHS system too. That Dr is bold!

JaysMum Tue 22-Feb-05 10:53:29

Cosmo I agree boys are just not allowed to be boys anymore. When i think back to how my big brother used to be....he would pull my plaits, climb every wll and jump off it, hit me with sticks, disect worms...yuck, he was a general pain in the behind....and he is 12 years older than me.
Even now he likes to fool around....olive oil on the windscreen of my new car....that was last weeks little joke....arghhhh!!!!
He's the one with the professional job and letters after his name.....boys will always be boys....even wneh they are 48 and going grey!!!!

I wasnt implying that I thought your son had ADHD....I just referred to the book because there are some really good strategies in there to try charts being one of them.

As for your son, nothing you have written would have strongly suggested ADHD to me, he sounds just fine and dandy....just like any typical boy.

Cosmo74 Tue 22-Feb-05 10:59:34

Jaysmum - Thanks for taking time to reply and I am sorry if I offended you about the book - I took some tips from another parenting website and have decided to be a little less bother by every little thing he does - when he is bold I give him one warning and then he is told to sit on the bold chair ( really the settee) for 5 mins this usually calms him down, trouble is when he is his Grandmas she is not always consistent so tends to misbehave more there.

Anyway enough waffling for me - I have just read your post - so sorry you are having a rough time don't have much advice as I am only getting to know about all this stuff - just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and hope that you get all the help and support you and J need.

Take care

Fran1 Tue 22-Feb-05 22:06:25

Your little boy will look back at his "happy" past, because he has a sensible Mummy who accepts his personality, and lets him be.

I agree, ADHD has become so well known that the slightest thing can make professionas panic. I am not saying your son does or doesn't have it, but either way he is lucky to have a family who love him and allow him to be himself, without letting outside influences change it.

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