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Ds keeps b***ering off whenever it suits him! What do i do???? He ain't even 7 yet!

(2 Posts)
mrspitt Mon 01-Sep-08 18:47:11

Just exactly that! He has AS poss ADHD or not depending on who we talk to.

When things are not going his way, or he is told no or he is in a mood or just because he wants to do something, he will run off!!!
In the past he would maybe just hide round the corner but now he actually goes off!!

After school last week, i said i need to go to the shop, he didn't agree and went off, all the way home on his own, it's not far but there was no-one at home.
While on holiday he would climb out the caravan windows if brought in, he has went off from my dad who was genuinely worried because he isn't used to this behaviour.

Tonight he was told he could not go to xxxxx on his own because it was too far etc etc.

Dh took him round to dh's friend house while he did a wee job for him. Ds ran off, no clue as to where he could be.

I went looking for him and found him at the place where he was told not to go!He has no road sense, no perceptions of danger, strangers, shouts at older kids without a thought that they will punch him or worse for being rude.

I worry for his safety of course, but i have two younger dd's and i work as a childminder so i cannot just run after him!? angry
Dh keeps saying he is going to get himself into trouble but he's only almost 7.

It doesn't matter what sanctions are put on him, he doesn't care because it doesn't appear to register that he has done something wrong ?? sad This is a big part of his difficulties, actions and consequences don't occur to him. He usually realises after the event when the impulse has gone. I can shout till i'm blue in the face only reaction is him screaming and holding his ears, i take stuff off him, bike, golf clubs, no reaction. The only thing that bothers him is being alone in his room but that's a major anxiety for him so i can't do that! aaarrgghh !

Sorry for the ramble, it has been a particulary difficult few months with my ds.

Just wondered if anyone had any strategies, tips or advice on how to handle the disappearing act??

V xx

WedgiesMum Mon 01-Sep-08 19:48:02

I have the same problem with DS now aged 9. He is a 'runner' too and it can get pretty hairy. I have a younger DD (7) and she is now used to staying exactly where I leave her, usually with my bag!, as I run off after DS until I catch him and bring him back asap. We have negotiated that he will go only a certain distance from me , it's taken a long time and lots of reminding but it now works about 50% of the time.

Shouting does no good as DS doesn't really 'get' tone of voice so when he is calm we sit and discuss it and talk about how things could have been handled better. This has resulted in a certain amount of him responding to my cries of 'stop' as he runs off, but it has taken several years to get to this point. In my experience AS children take a VERY long time to learn things like this as they are not 'programmed' in the same way as a more NT child and certainly don't respond to emotional appeals about stranger danger other dangers etc as this kind of approach relies on empathy with the other persons point of view, which obviously they don't have.

Hope this is of some use smile

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