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Can I just ask a question about PCness, don't want to get this wrong............

(5 Posts)
suwoo Wed 27-Aug-08 13:07:56

This is going to sound wrong however I word it, but what I want to know is should I acknowledge someones child disability? An old friend from junior school has contacted me on facebook and upon looking through her photos I see her daughter is in a wheelchair. I don't want to not say anything and appear that I am scared or embarrassed to acknowledge it, yet I don't feel it is the right thing to say 'Oh I see your DD is in a wheelchair'. Should I just say nothing? Sorry to ask something so stupid, but MN has made me really conscious of getting these sort of things right as I have seen how offensive it is if people get it wrong.

LollipopViolet Wed 27-Aug-08 13:56:59

Let it come up naturally. I got to know my friend H through being on the same bus as her, and after a week or so she was talking to all of us (transport to her school and my college) about some procedures she'd had done etc. Anyway, I asked her what had caused her to need the procuedures and she said, "Oh I've got CP." Easy. We're really good mates now, and tbh, she actually said I was the first person to get to know her before asking about it. So talk to your friend, ask how things are etc, and in time it'll come up, somehow.

2shoes Wed 27-Aug-08 14:21:53

if it was me, I would rather the person just asked me about my children, then I would sy oh and dd has cp.
but what ever you do, don't say "oh what a shame" or thet you are sorry to hear about it. comment on something positive, like the girl looking like her mum or being beautiful or cheeky.
hope that helps, I have had the I am sorry stuff and I hate it.

suwoo Wed 27-Aug-08 14:26:14

Thanks you two. 2shoes, I was hoping you would answer, it was you I was thinking of actually.

2shoes Wed 27-Aug-08 17:54:57

awww fame at last

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