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Can a child display lots of symptons of various disorders but be totally fine.

(46 Posts)
pepsi Thu 17-Feb-05 09:57:34

Sorry me again looking for some positive answers. My Ds nearly 5 seems pretty much ok to me at home (its hard to tell when he is my eldest so Ive nothing to compare with), but at school he displays loads of symptons such as poor eye contact, poor concentration, doesnt listen, but is coping academically so far, is a bit of a loner. He had hearing problems with glue ear until he was three and was half deaf. At home he talks all the time but at school he cant connect with other children but he plays at home with his sister fine. Everything seems rather conflicting. School has recommeneded ep. Could he be ok but just different at school.

pepsi Thu 17-Feb-05 11:21:16


Twiglett Thu 17-Feb-05 11:31:07

has he had a hearing test .. I don't know anything about this but could it be that when there's a lot of other stuff going on / lot of background noise he can't hear properly and so loses attention?

pepsi Thu 17-Feb-05 12:05:23

Yes he is tested every year and they say his hearing is fine, his speech isnt as good as others of his age but they say he doesnt need therapy. He did live with only 50% hearing for the first three years of his life. Could this be the cause of his behaviour now?

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 12:30:24


Ds sounds a bit like dd who has a language disorder, who is also 5.

I have always felt that dd behaves more "normally" at home and surronded by people she knows and is familiar with.

I would see the Ep and see what they say.

pepsi Thu 17-Feb-05 15:16:31

If thats the case and a child is more "normal" at home does that mean that in fact they dont have a disorder, just dont cope with the situation of school very well. My ds is very well behaved in the supermarket, doctors, dentist, town centre, restuarants, etc, they dont scare him and he talks perfectly well and confidently to doctors and the like, just not to children. He doesnt actually engage with them in conversation, he talks to them but they dont realise its them he is talking to/playing with.

charleypops Thu 17-Feb-05 15:23:51

Does he like going to school? He's not being picked on is he? Bullying can be very subtle.

pepsi Thu 17-Feb-05 15:43:21

No he is happy in going to school. He has been like this ever since he started nursery at 3 his nursery made the same comments as his new school is. On the one hand I have to face up to the fact that something is probably wrong as two schools have said the same thing, on the other I think he is fine at home. I just confused.

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 17:57:29

Until you see the ep you won't know Pepsi. They are the pros and the school wouldn't call one in if there wasn't genuine concerns.
They can tell so much by observing your child at school and at home.
Good luck

pepsi Thu 17-Feb-05 18:06:36

But does anyone ever see an EP and then end up a totally "normal" child and not in fact be special needs or are they only called in for a child who is definately special needs long term and always will be. I dont know the system yet, but Im sure I will learn. Im just scraping around looking for someone to tell me my son is ok.

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 18:11:18

I know Pepsi It must seem really scary right now for you but I honestly don't think anyone can answer your questions except for the ep/paediatrican. They are the professionals and will know what they are looking for. It could well be that your son doesn't have special needs as such but it sounds as though the fact that 2 schools have shown concern that it is definitely worth getting it checked out.
Do you have any idea if the school have any kind of sn in mind?
Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh Pepsi as it isn't meant to be it's just how I honestly see it.

MrsFROSTgetful Thu 17-Feb-05 22:15:53

in my opinion....the professionals are quite reluctant to diagnose anything at the moment( all the bad press etc) so don't worry that he will get diagnosed with something that he doesn't have etc..... yes - he may have difficulties.... and there are loads of strategies that you can put in place NOW.....before they decide to 'lable him or not'....however....'if' he has got needs that may get diagnosed later- it's far better they are recognised at this young age..... it has taken me 3 years to get a concrete diagnosis of AS for my ds2- as teachers decided he was 'OK' everyone listened to THEM ...and NOT me as the MUM!!!!

So...for me i crave that the school think my son has a problem etc...i'd love them to be first...but unfortunately-- having had 1 child already with AS- and having had a very dificult childhood myself- i am 1 step ahead of them..... and it's me that wants them to call in the EP etc!!!!

so honestly.... let them look into it all...and trust that they don't want to waste resourses/diagnosis etc....and that any help he gets as a result of it is a bonus to him!

i am trying to keep laid back about my ds3 who i believe is ASD too...this time i want the school to start the ball rolling to a diagnosis!!!

Tiggiwinkle Thu 17-Feb-05 22:38:02

Mrs F-I am having exactly the same problems as you describe with my DSs school. His teacher seems intent on denying any problems-despite the fact that the clinical psychologist has been into school and observed his behaviour there for herself and does not agree with the teacher. Why are the schools so reluctant to listen to us? The teacher is just determined to label my DS as "naughty" and says he is doing things "on purpose" to annoy her!How do you get them to listen to you?

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 22:41:33

- Tiggiwinkle

It's all about money unfortunately. Now the teacher should listen to the pros. I am very lucky in that my dd was "caught" in the system early and was statemented at just over 3. I honestly think without the early intervetion she would never be where she is today (5 and a half)

Her self esteem would have been shot to pieces at being told how "naughty" she was.

MrsFROSTgetful Thu 17-Feb-05 22:44:49

well in the case of ds2 - we moved schools...and that worked!!!

however...with ds3...i can't really do that again!!!

i wish i could offer advice- but this has to be the area that i am worst at!
i hate any end up writing letter after letter to school explaining how i see the behaviour as relating to AS etc....rather than a face to face meeting- where i end up going along with teachers

in Jan i asked that the school seek the help from the Autism Outreach team...and also asked that they review ds2 after this week (half term)
i am desparate that THEY approach me to say they have contacted the team etc....and that i don't have to beg.

coppertop Thu 17-Feb-05 22:45:22

I must admit that I now feel relieved that both of my boys had/have language problems. Without this we would never have got them into the system as early as we did. So much just seems to come down to luck once they're at school.

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 22:45:29

Mrs F - Did you see my thread where I was calling you??? Just wondered how things were?

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 22:45:56

Coppertop - haven't seen you in a few days. How are you?

Tiggiwinkle Thu 17-Feb-05 22:48:56

I have been debating whether to change schools-but am worried about the effect it would have on DS (although I dont think he would miss anyone from his present school). Have decided to wait until after his assessment at the end of March before reaching a decision. How did your DS cope with the change?

coppertop Thu 17-Feb-05 22:50:03

I'm okay, thanks. Ds1 and ds2 have both been ill and so it's been even more chaotic than usual. Roll on Monday!

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 22:51:29

I feel that way too coppertop

Do you find it easy going out and about with ds's or are you restricted? It's just we can do most things except cinema, restaurants and things were dd has to sit for too long. Always feel that ds misses out.

coppertop Thu 17-Feb-05 22:58:35

At the moment it's ds2 who makes going out anywhere difficult. He's at the stage where he wants to go via the same routes each time and has a screaming headbanging frenzy in his pushchair whenever we go somewhere he didn't know about. He doesn't understand "go shop" and is too young to understand a visual timetable either. Ds1 is okay most places but we haven't yet dared to venture into a cinema. He also tries to 'police' ds2 and other children so we have to be extra-careful about where we take him.

Holidays are fun aren't they?

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 23:00:48

The thing with dd is that she doesn't really watch films. She will watch cbeebies. nick jr but anything with too complex a story line she is lost.

I had to laugh when you said ds "polices" people. I know it's probably not funny for you ct but it's just the word police

Yes holidays are great fun...

coppertop Thu 17-Feb-05 23:05:15

He's just like a mini-policeman. God help any child who dares to break 'The Rules'. Nearly every sentence of his seems to start with the words "You mustn't do that!"

Ds1 tends to get a bit obsessive about films. His current favourites are Shrek and that awful American film version of Thomas the Tank Engine.

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 17-Feb-05 23:07:38

I hate that Thomas film. So cheesy.

Dd is so weird with Thomas. She loves to watch it but ends up putting her fingers in her ears or hand over her face. Don't ask... That's quirky dd for you

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