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Anyone else feel down when their child gets excluded from things?

(10 Posts)
Pinkchampagne Thu 21-Aug-08 12:49:15

My DS isn't like other little boys his age. We are having him assessed, but haven't got a dx for him yet, but he finds social situations difficult. He is always alone in the playground and takes himself into a corner at lots of children's parties. He doesn't get many invites & I can see why, but I find it a bit upsetting.

I have a friend wo I have known since our boys were toddlrs (they are nearly 9 now), and her DS is developing into a normal 9 year old, while my DS is...different.
It is her DS's birthday tomorrow & she text me to say they were busy getting ready for his party. He is having all his football friends round for a bbq, and clearly my DS isn't one of them.
I am not angry about this - it is totally understandable that he wouldn't be invited ecause he isn't one of the gang, and probably wouldn't join in their football etc, but I feel a bit upset. Not sure if it is because he will find himself excluded more & more, or if it is because I would give anything for my DS to be one of the gang...to be like the other boys his age.sad

Pinkchampagne Thu 21-Aug-08 12:50:01

Excuse my typing. My keyboard is very sticky!

MadreInglese Thu 21-Aug-08 12:50:23

Is your DS happy?

Pinkchampagne Thu 21-Aug-08 12:56:31

I don't think he is. He has worryingly low self esteem for a child of his age, often saying he hates himself or others hate him.sad
He shows little enthusiasm for anything other than going on my pc or watching SpongeBob. If you offer to take him out, he often doesn't want to go. He claims his best friend is the cat.sad

LIZS Thu 21-Aug-08 13:03:18

How odd to text you but not have invited your ds ? Are you sure it isn't an oversight ? ds isn't really part of a "gang", he might play alongside a group, has some close allies who would stick up for him and a particular friend at the moment but chooses to opt out on his own or finds structured actvities to do out of the playground environment. Won't do groups like football, rugby, scouts etc. Just had an EP assessment and it was one of the concerns we raised.

Pinkchampagne Thu 21-Aug-08 13:07:34

No, she text to tell me about a bargain trampoline, then said "we will have to get together soon, but hectic atm as getting ready for DS's birthday tomorrow"

He has started an after school football group, and likes it, but doesn't get into it like the other boys, and while in defense, he laid himself down on the floor once!blush
Tried Beavers, but he sat in a corner the whole hour. He says he was too shy.

Pinkchampagne Thu 21-Aug-08 13:09:21

My DS keeps asking when it is this boys birthday. He knows it is coming up soon.

LIZS Thu 21-Aug-08 13:16:11

Come to think of it I think ds has only been to one party this past year.

MadreInglese Thu 21-Aug-08 13:17:17

I would think most kids go through a period of not fitting in. DD doesn't really have a best friend as such, she tends to flit between a couple of groups, and she's initially shy in big group activities like browies.

What is he interested in? Could you find or start up a smaller activity group for him. sad that they left him in a corner at beavers.

Pinkchampagne Thu 21-Aug-08 22:20:47

My DS isn't like other children. He will take himself into a corner at a party, even if it is full of his classmates. Other children don't tend to bother with him, and I guess you can't blame them, but it makes me very sad.sad

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