Getting stressed by DD and toilet training or lack of

[jenk1]

We were advised by the psych at CAMHS the other week to start training DD, she is 4.4, has a private dx of PDD-NOS and a CAMHS dx of "Autistic Traits and attention difficulties" by CAMHS, she was also dx,d by her paed with having hemiparesis a couple of years ago.

DD IS ready for training physically, she knows when she needs the potty/toilet, the problem is she refuses to use either.

We started 3 weeks ago and for about 3/4 days she would sit on both the potty and the toilet at night time before her bath and in the morning, last night i left her nappy off and she started screaming quick nappy quick, DH took her over the the potty chair but she refused to sit on it and screamed the place down. i ended up putting her nappy back on her, i asked hr a couple of mins later had she done a wee and she said yes, she said she never wants to go on the potty/toilet.

i dont understand this,and wondered if anyone has come across this and how you dealt with it.

sorry for the long message.

[bubblagirl]

my ds was the same he is HFA dont react to it and dont put nappy back on put knickers on

it took my ds to not like being wet to want to qwee wee on potty he is 3.2 and currently back to wanting nappies but in day i leave them off and he now takes himself to the potty

after lots of praise and stress we did it but he will not tell me when he wants to go and this is hard when we go out but he has done it once so hoping he will continue to do so

they very much like things to be on there term and losing nappies would also mean not a baby anymore

but now he has his thomas pants and he loves to put them on and weeing is now a novelty he enjoys pooing is a no no at the moment screams for nappy

just ignore if you can or sit and have big girl talk and what you expect from her and try again in few days

also i used to bribe with chocolate buttons to sit on potty not to do anything but to get used to sitting on it

sorry i can't help too much as going through the same but hope maybe something could be useful

[bubblagirl]

oh also get some fancy stickers to stick on potty and maybe get her to choose some big girl knickers and then just persevere

[jenk1]

thanks bubblagirl, problem is ive tried the not putting her nappy on and putting knickers on, she takes them off and tries to put her own nappy on!!!!!

[kodathekat]

Hi Jenk1

Here's what worked for us. DS is ASD. When he was three he was on under-5's autism project in nursery. The specialist teacher insisted we took him out of nappies We used a combination of social story and pecs cards, and within a week, and alot of wet clothes, he got the message and started weeing in the loo.

Unfortunately he carried on doing poos in his pants until after he was 5. He'd wait all day until he came home from school to do it. We couldn't even get him to sit on the toilet or a potty, he'd just scream. In the end, I bought a 'Thomas' character, stuck it on the wall way above the toilet, and told him he could have it when he pooed in the loo. The little bugger darling sat on that toilet and screamed until he forced one out. And we've never looked back!!

Not sure this will be any use, but once you've started, you have to persevere. And sometimes you need a very creative approach!!

Good luck!

[bubblagirl]

sounds just like my ds can you hide nappies away and say that they are just for a night now and big girl knickers for a day

maybe pre warn do a calander and tell her daily that as of this day nappies are for nights only and you will go choose big girl knickers and she will have them in day

i find with my ds if prepared he copes better and also i have to stop him being in charge as his not happy if things are not his way and to pre warn him and offer choices then he responds better

such as no nappy if he insists nappy on i say well you'll have to go to bed then as nappies are only for night

him i want to play then put your pants on i want nappy well come on then lets go to bed him no pants on pants on

works all the time as he still feels like he is in control but i have got round it

didnt work for first few times but i perservered and insisted we have to get past this and as ther eminds are so set it takes alot to break it down but were there now

next step is to ask me when out and then we would have cracked it oh and poos in toilet not nappy

[BriocheDoree]

My DD learnt (for wees) by using nappies on the toilet, i.e. in pants the rest of the time, then putting a nappy on when she went to the toilet. We also used stickers. This carried on for about 3 months then one day I just tried putting her on without and it worked. However, poos are another story - still doing those in a nappy!

[jenk1]

Thanks everyone for the advice.

Yesterday i went out and bought her some dora the explorer and peppa pig knickers, feeling pretty pleased with myself thinking ha this will do the trick as she is obsessed with Dora, so when i got home and showed them to her she just looked at me and said "them go in the drawer" and i said no, they go on YOU, she started screaming,"no mummy no please not knickers".

She is such hard work!!

[bubblagirl]

yes it is hard work especially as you cant tune into there thought waves so its just battle all the way until you get some sign its working

but best thing to do is persevere if you keep giving in they know just what to do to make you give in again

but its for there own good to be tough at times with my ds i find he likes the challange of it and actually thrives when i set my own bounderies

but the choice thing works wonders for my ds he can choose to go to bed with a nappy or stay up and have fun with pants on