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Do you ever have those moments when you suddenly realise that your DC isn't "normal"...?

(36 Posts)
BriocheDoree Wed 06-Aug-08 19:19:27

This isn't a negative post, just an odd experience today. Bumped into DD's SALT in the supermarket with her three kids. Youngest is DD's age. They were all chattering away normally, and walking round with their mum without having to be put in the trolley so they wouldn't run off, and when it came to pay they were helping load / unload the trolley rather than climbing over the barriers, running up and down in front of the doors and jumping off the benches. And yet DD is so much better than she used to be! It's only when you see NT kids that you suddenly realise that maybe your's is a bit more like hard work sometimes. I'm not complaining, just made me think!

Aefondkiss Wed 06-Aug-08 19:25:51

yes, I had some friends staying recently, my ds is a couple of months younger than my friend's wee boy, but seems more than a year younger... I do compare my ds all the time to NT children ( I know I shouldn't), but it does underline his difference and stops my denial.

cyberseraphim Wed 06-Aug-08 19:30:18

I know what you mean - DS1 is better in so many ways and we are thrilled with how much he can say and do compared to last year. But then you meet an NT 4 year old chattering away about science fiction, history, last year's holidays - it is a massive reality check.

TotalChaos Wed 06-Aug-08 19:40:56

sad. yes.

Hecate Wed 06-Aug-08 19:59:21

yup. Happens a lot.

Daft thing is, that I am so used to the way my kids are, that nt kids seem really odd to me. They don't seem 'normal' at all. grin

Hecate Wed 06-Aug-08 20:01:17

oops, pressed something there.

Meant to say that I notice when kids their age are talking, that the way mine talk is very different. I understand that it is my kids that don't talk 'normally' or behave 'normally' but looking at the other kids I still think it's them that are weird! grin

sarah293 Wed 06-Aug-08 20:01:26

Message withdrawn

deeeja Wed 06-Aug-08 20:29:03

Oh yes!
Today, saw a friend of mine with dc the same ages as mine, and they actually walk with her down the road, non-stop, it is quite shocking! My dh was astounded that they could be so confident that their children would just walk with them, we can never relax like that. The conversations and the complex instructions their children understand, eating without being told to with every mouthful, not having to have food cut up, and eating everything on their plates. They all play together and talk to eachother aswell. It is like another world, completely!

Aefondkiss Wed 06-Aug-08 20:31:19

cybers that is how it is with our ds, I do love that he is making good progress too.

sphil Wed 06-Aug-08 20:57:57

Snap. I was with my brother's 6 month old baby last week and was amazed at the way he was turning to every noise and tracking people as they walked past.

bullet123 Wed 06-Aug-08 21:14:40

Yes. It brings it home especially when people say things like they are worried that their 20 month old isn't talking yet, or that their nearly three year old has only just been potty trained. Which they are perfectly entitled to do, it just brings it home a bit more strongly about Ds1's difficulties.

BriocheDoree Wed 06-Aug-08 21:33:45

I remember about a year ago I was at a park with a friend. When we left the park DD was off doing her own thing as usual. Friend was walking along with her two year old holding one hand and her 4 year old holding the other and I remember thinking, "How does she train her kids to DO that!". Now I realise that this is how NT kids behave. You know, they just act like that and you don't have to negotiate to get them to do it, or keep repeating "Hold mummy's hand on the car park, hold mummy's hand on the car park" in an undertone!

SixSpotBurnet Wed 06-Aug-08 21:49:51

Yes, more and more now that DS3 is a bit older (he's just turned four) and the contrast between him and nt children the same age is just huge.

Tclanger Wed 06-Aug-08 21:52:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueDragonfly Wed 06-Aug-08 21:53:31

broiche, does your DD have a diagnoses?

Sorry to be blunt but just in your posts on this thread she sounds like my DS2

Tclanger Wed 06-Aug-08 21:54:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misscutandstick Wed 06-Aug-08 21:59:51

i have a friend who we hadnt seen in ages, we bumped into her at a shopping complex. Her children are roughly the same age as my elder 3. She was asking how they all were, when i asked her how her eldest (15yrs) was she replied "hes off with his friends, gone to see a film... wheres your {DS1}?" I didnt want to reply "hes giving me a break by being with grandma - and actually hes probably hiding underneath a clothes rack pretending to be an undercover jetpack-agent-man"... and opted for "oh, hes doing really well thanks" and changed the subject.

On a more recent occasion, we were in a toddler group with DS4 & DS5 (3yrs and 2yrs) and there is this other little boy who i consider to be a little peculiar - but hey, live and let live... until he was looking at DS5 (preDx PDD), who was currently licking a small baby mirror after having just sampled a patch of carpet, with an expression that said "wow, you're a bit wierd" sad OMG, the boy is only about 2 or 3 with some very strange mannerisms, if he considers himself to be the 'norm' how bad must things be ??? grin, and hes dissing my son already sad

bullet123 Wed 06-Aug-08 22:08:06

Ds1 is actually very good at holding my hand and walking with me, but he's very far from being NT.

mm22bys Wed 06-Aug-08 22:25:55

I tend avoid gatherings with NT children, but even so, DS1 astounds me. He is 4 now. His ability to learn, how is body works, he is quite chatty now, I should be thankful but if it weren't for DS2 I would just be taking it all for granted.

Just a pity it had to come to this to appreciate DS1 (not that I didn't of course, he is my own PFB...).

But DS2 is his own person, none of this is his fault (DH's favourite line) and what really concerns the specialists we barely notice now, it's just his normality...

ouryve Wed 06-Aug-08 22:33:28

Every time I take the kids out of the house.

Sidge Wed 06-Aug-08 22:40:30

Yup. More and more often the older she gets sad

At home in our little bubble she's just DD2, but when we leave the house it's getting so obvious.

MsDemeanor Wed 06-Aug-08 22:55:28

Does anyone find that their older oddbod teaches their younger NT sibling ghastly things? My Aspergers ds is an truly appalling role model for my little NT dd. But they love each other passionately, so I'm please with that <sort of baffled, loving but exasperated and rather worried for his future emoticon>

2shoes Wed 06-Aug-08 23:05:46

oh yes my nt ds(16) loves teaching dd (sn) weird and wonderful stuff

BriocheDoree Thu 07-Aug-08 08:41:58

No, BlueDragonfly, DD doesn't have a diagnosis. What does your DS2 have? Trying to decide who best to take her to for a dx!

LeonieD Thu 07-Aug-08 09:06:32

Message withdrawn

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