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The Pain Of Watching Your Autistic Child 'Do Nothing'

(45 Posts)
JakB Thu 10-Feb-05 16:15:40

Sorry, seem to be only posting depressing stuff this week! Housebound today as ds ill. I have dd on Thursdays so we're all stuck in. Ds VERY clingy (am paranoid now it may be something more than a cold) so have had to spend several hours observing dd as not able to interact with her properly. DD can spend HOURS doing nothing (just tapping her tambourine on the radiator). Have found this very depressing

ks Thu 10-Feb-05 16:19:04

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maddiemo Thu 10-Feb-05 16:44:47

Sorry she is so remote at the moment Jakb. Her ear infection may have really knocked it out of her.
My ds3 seems to peak and trough. Since op at xmas we are going through a low patch in terms of food and phobia.

Sorry, wish I coild advise something wonderful and helpful

moondog Thu 10-Feb-05 16:47:30

I don't think anyone is ever 'doing nothing' JakB.
She is observing and fulminating and processing information in a way that is quite simply different to the way most of us do. Imagine listening to someone speaking Croatian.It would mean nothing to you but that doesn't mean it means 'nothing' does it?

She is operating at a completely different level.

That's ok. That's what she does.

JakB Thu 10-Feb-05 18:14:05

Yeah, Moondog, I appreciate that more than anybody. And dd gets lots of time to herself to do her thing. But it's hard when I can't interact with her for several hours at a time. She was getting frustrated 'stimming' all day too

moondog Thu 10-Feb-05 18:53:58

I understand JakB. My sisters are always telling me that sometimes I have to let people just experince their general state of pissed offness instead of trying to kiss it better (metaphorically speaking.)
But...for what it's worth, I think being cooped up at home at this time of year is enough to get anyone operating at less than optimum level!!!

Hope your ds is better soon, hope the sun comes out, and that dd gets the chance to spread her wings a bit.
Remember, Spring is around the corner. Time of new life and new growth (for all, not just for Christians.)


JakB Thu 10-Feb-05 19:29:40

Don't worry Moondog, just a bit sensitive because I didn't mean I think dd's activities don't mean anything to her- have the uptmost respect for her doing her autistic 'thing'. But dd gets fed up if undirected for long as she has no independent playskills and no verbal communication. She really enjoys being directed so what I meant was I got quite depressed that she was feeling so aimless. I suppose I found it quite patronising to have it pointed out to me that she is processing things in a different way. I think I've worked that one out already

Merlot Thu 10-Feb-05 19:48:57

Sorry to hear that its been a tough day - hope tomorrow is easier.

JakB Thu 10-Feb-05 19:49:55

Thanks Merlot! (and Maddiemo). Yep, I'm hoping to be on here with a positive post soon! My year not getting off to the start I had envisaged...

motherinferior Thu 10-Feb-05 20:04:39

I am so very sorry. I can't say anything constructive, but do send my

RnB Thu 10-Feb-05 20:07:58

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Merlot Thu 10-Feb-05 20:23:03

JakB - lets use the Chinese New Year instead - that's only just started

InternationalGirl Thu 10-Feb-05 20:53:15

If we leave our DD to her own devices she will spend ALL DAY in the kitchen climbing up to the cupboards to find something to eat... gonna have to keep an eye on that!! Sometimes we have to physically remove her from the house and as soon as we're in the car first thing out of her mouth is "donalds!" One track mind.

JakB - hope your DS feels better soon. I know some of the things we have to deal with and observe with our kids can be depressing - I'm there with you. I think the hardest thing for me is wondering whether we are doing enough to help her be the best she can be and then feeling soooo exhausted that I don't know if I can do much more than what I'm doing....

Looking forward to meeting you at the meetup - you better be there this time. I have specially taken the whole day off work so I can guarantee I'll be there and not have to clock-watch or depart early!!

JakB Thu 10-Feb-05 20:56:39

Ah, thanks you lot. Yes, definitely, let's go for the Chinese New Year . I know what you mean International Girl, if I'm not standing on my head (if you know what I mean) I feel as if I'm failing her. Can't wait to meet you. RnB, WHAT NIGHT ARE YOU FREE FOR A LARGE DRINK NEXT WEEK?!!!!!!
I think my new name will be ImuststopdrinkingJakB

rivers Thu 10-Feb-05 21:11:22

Hi JakB - Hope your DS is feeling better soon and you can get out of the house and definitely go for a very big drink as soon as possible!!

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 10-Feb-05 21:18:12

JakB - No experience of this hun but just wanted to say sorry you have had a horrible day


Jimjams Thu 10-Feb-05 21:19:46

it's one of the hardest things (until he does start doing something- today trying to put all sorts of hideous metallic things in the microwave!). hope all is better soon.

Socci Thu 10-Feb-05 23:01:39

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JakB Fri 11-Feb-05 10:03:39

Yes, I think Jimjams is right, it is one of the hardest things about having a child with autism. Socci, sorry your assessment was so hard . ABA will DEFINITELY give your dd direction. I think it's so exciting that you're starting the programme with her and look forward to reading your posts about her progress honey

macwoozy Fri 11-Feb-05 10:56:53

JakB I hope today is a litle brighter for you.

chonky Fri 11-Feb-05 11:22:32

Ditto - hope things are looking up a bit today JakB

JaysMum Fri 11-Feb-05 11:44:27

I know this might seem a silly question but what exactly is stimming???????

Is it the continual need for repetitive actions and's just that I have not heard it called stimming down in our neck of the woods!!!!

J does this frequently and when he does we can not access his world at all....we just have to wait until he comes back to us.

rivers Fri 11-Feb-05 21:44:14

Hope things have been better for you,DD and DS.

RnB Sat 12-Feb-05 11:10:08

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Socci Sat 12-Feb-05 11:11:50

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