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What would you say when....

(14 Posts)
Dingle Wed 09-Feb-05 20:45:41

Sitting at the dinner table tonight ds told us that a few of his "friends" at school have been calling dd "stupid!"
I just told him that some people don't really know dd, so they can't judge her, and to ignore it! I also mentioned that it might be worth letting his teacher know!!??
FFS he is only 5, how can he deal with this? What should I do?
Don't really know how I managed not to break down, what with dd being a right little monster after SALT today, and my mum STILL in hospital...
...sorry, don't mean to be so negative, but it just came out of the blue. At least he is mature enough to tell us, even if he doesn't really understand!

ThomCat Wed 09-Feb-05 20:50:57

Oh no, honey, I'm so sorry.
Yes I would have a quiet word with the teachers.
I can't add to what you told your son, what else can you say. just really try and make sure he doesn't see you upset and be bright and breezy when talking about it with him. Hope you're okay, TC xx

Aero Wed 09-Feb-05 20:52:55

Oh Dingle - I'm sorry to read this - I think a mention to the teacher would be a good idea - maybe some of your ds's friends can learn something from this unnecessary comment! Also think you've said exactly the right thing to your ds - they don't know your dd and are in no position to judge. Such comments definitely need to be ignored.

Dingle Wed 09-Feb-05 20:59:21

Really don't want to cause a fuss about this, I don't want the few negative comments to snowball and put ds in a rotten situation!
In general, dd has a lot of the kiddies in school run up to her, kiss and cuddle her, and it is quite common for some of them to walk alongside dd in her buggy holding her hand!
The thought did cross my mind about the teachers trying to "explain" disability in general, but that would only highlight the issue and cause more problems!!
I suppose I wasn't expecting this to happen the ds at the tender age of 5!

Merlot Wed 09-Feb-05 21:01:18

Poor you

Sounds like you handled it really well - its amazing how its sometimes possible to find inner strength when you really feel you cant take any more isnt it? Your little man sounds a very sensible little chap

A word with the teacher sounds an excellent idea. Maybe the teacher can give them a little pep talk or read a story about people all being different or something.

How is your mum Dingle?

Dont apologize about being negative... Offload here its an order!!

Dingle Wed 09-Feb-05 21:07:27

At least my mum, is hopefully on the mend. After nearly 4 weeks of being pulled around, blood transfusions, 3 biopsies, a blood clot, various dialysis lines being put in-then failing, she has a more permenant line in and had a very sucessful dialysis session yesteday and is now back on waffarin(sp?) We are hopeful she will come out the early part of next week (fingers crossed) but then still need to travel up to King's in London, 3 times a week for dialysis, and once every 3 weeks for chemo!
Hopefully there is at least some light at the end of that tunnel!

Merlot Wed 09-Feb-05 21:14:39


Kids can be incredible cruel can't they? (unwittingly, half the time!).

As you say, its frightening what they come out with at such a tender age. I gave birth to ds2 (SN) when ds1 had just started in year 2 (I have to say that I have had concerns about ds2 from very early on, say 6 weeks). Well when I took ds2 into ds1's school so that i could help with the xmas party - I was horrified and astounded that a couple of ds1's classmates came up to me and said `your baby is like a zombie isn't he?'

They didn't really know what they were saying, but they had obviously picked up on the noises that ds1 made and the fact that he was quite a starey little chap. I, of course, was inwardly aghast and made a comment about all babies being funny little things - but it struck a chord with me, how these little boys had said something quite cruel without having the slightest clue about what they were saying really.

Merlot Wed 09-Feb-05 21:20:41

Glad to hear your mum is improving . Life is a bummer sometimes isn't it? My mum was battling breast cancer (she's now in remission) at the same time that we started having suspiscions that all was not well with ds2, so can empathize about being pulled in all bloody directions.

Dingle Wed 09-Feb-05 21:46:47

Thanks, been a shi**y few months really, starting in November when both DH and me lost our nans!!

Still, things WILL get better!! I was so full of optimism for the new year!!

DD's nursery have been very good. Not taking her to SN nursery tomorrow as it's ds's school assembly and I won't be able to get back in time after dropping her off. The school nursery have suggested that she attends the full morning session there, so that I can watch ds's performance in peace. They have even swapped around the assistants timetable so that she will be there to help dd!!

Funny really, that's where I thought I'd be having the problems, with the kiddies actually in her class (well I suppose more of their parents attitudes really!) but she seems to have been accepted really well, and it's so cute to hear her little school friends call her. She can't "call" them back, but she does shout out "yeeoowwl" at the top of her voice and waves frantically!

MrsFROSTgetful Wed 09-Feb-05 22:25:49

[hugs to the dingleys]

Dingle Thu 10-Feb-05 10:37:43

After ds's assembly today I had a quiet word with one of the assistants, who is also a neighbour.
Made it clear that I didn't really feel it necessary to do anything about it ATM, but thought that they should be aware of the situation.
He is a bright, sensible little boy but he is also very sensitive and I really don't think it fair for him to have to deal with this, especially so young!

MrsF, I feel dd is still to young to pick up on it! She is only 3, and we tried to make "light" of it IYSWIM. Not brush it under the carpet, as I would have liked to!

connorsmum Thu 10-Feb-05 10:43:05

(((BIG HUGS)))

amynnixmum Thu 10-Feb-05 10:48:53

Good news about your mum Dingle
{{{hugs}}} to you and your family

chonky Thu 10-Feb-05 12:35:02

Glad you managed to have a word with the teaching assistant. Sorry you've been having such a rough time of it recently - sending you lots of good vibes & {{{hugs}}}, 2005 will get better soon.

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