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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

I really need some help

(21 Posts)
CleanKittyCat Wed 09-Feb-05 18:32:22

My ds is 9 and has aspergers syndrome. He is statemented with 25 hours a week classroom support and 6 hours a week lunchtime support in a local mainstream school.

His behaviour has recently deteriorated and the school now feels that they cannot cope with him. I have been asked to "arrange to remove my child from thier school".

He has been running away from school, last time he was told if he did it again they would suspend him (not a punishment to him). He has been hitting children for getting too close to him, it's all happening at lunchtime. They won't /can't listen to me. My dh is also disabled and suffers from depression so I get little support from there. I also have a 7 year old dd to consider.

Please, I'm at my wits end I don't know what to do any more.

nikcola Wed 09-Feb-05 18:39:09

cant offer any help but sending you and your ds hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}} xxxxx

coppertop Wed 09-Feb-05 18:40:32

Are they actually giving him the lunchtime support mentioned in his statement? It certainly doesn't sound like it.

CleanKittyCat Wed 09-Feb-05 18:43:28

they claim that they are, can't prove either way. DS says that they told him, they can't stick by you like glue,they have to look after others as well.

I just don't want to fight any more I just want to cry.

coppertop Wed 09-Feb-05 18:57:15

I don't have any experience of statements but as far as I know it's almost impossible to exclude a child who has a statement. Hopefully someone with more knowledge will be along soon.

IMHO it doesn't sound like he's being supported properly at all. Teachers on here may know more but I'm pretty sure you have the right to appeal against exclusion. I would be tempted to contact the LEA to let them know that you have concerns about the statement being met.

hercules Wed 09-Feb-05 18:59:38

I'm not that knowledgeable so dont take what I say as set in stone but as I understand it it is nearly impossible to exclude a child with a statement. The school has to collect a massive amount of evidence and prove it has taken loads of steps to help your child.
It sounds like the school arent aware of their responsibilites. How about speaking to your LEA?

coppertop Wed 09-Feb-05 18:59:50

If you go to you can join an e-mail list called aut-uk. It's an excellent group with lots of people who know the system inside-out. You will get advice there pretty much straight away.

macwoozy Wed 09-Feb-05 19:01:46

I've also heard exactly the same as coppertop, that they can't exclude a child who has a statement. So sad for you, but no words of wisdom I'm afraid.

bambi06 Wed 09-Feb-05 20:11:22

do you not have an advisory teacher for your area who comes to visit you either at home or at school and you have a meeting whereby everyone sorts out strategies to try out and put inplace then we get feedback plus i`m always calling my local branch of autistic trust abd they`re always there to listen and give advice..they`re brilliant for me but i sympathise with you as i find it all so hard going and my son is o.k (so far ) at school but all hell breaks loose at home while he explodes from holding it all in all day at school

maddiemo Wed 09-Feb-05 20:22:19

You could request an anuual review. Take someone from you local NAS or parent partnership along for support. Ask to meet with Head SECO and class teacher. His needs are cleary not being met. I have heard of other people with children in mainstream where the ISA and lunchtime support are used as a general support rather than for the statemeneted child.
Does you LEA caseworker know that the school is threatening to suspend him? Conatact the LEA and let them know, they will not want him suspended and should get on the back of the school and send in autism outreach.

ThomCat Wed 09-Feb-05 20:37:50

Oh cleankittycat, I'm so sorry, I wish I had some gem of wisdom for you. I just hope everything work out. I can't believe that you've been asked to remove him , that's just not right. He needs MORE help, not pushed out. I really hope you get some good advice. Have you spoken to IPSEA, could they help advise you?

CleanKittyCat Wed 09-Feb-05 21:21:19

School and LEA band together both say he is getting all the support he needs. Parent partnership is as useful as a chocolate kettle. DAS (Doncaster Autistic Society) has disbanded (? is that right?) due to funding being withdrawn. We don't have an advisory teacher and SENCO is useless. He has already been suspended once for biting a child who had him in a wrestling hold and wouldn't let go. Other child was NOT disciplined. DS has threatened to kill himself, yes he does know what that means. I am getting no help from those around me that are supposed to be there for me.

I am planning on homeschooling him again, but this means giving up my job because I can't afford a tutor for him. DD's brown owl at brownies says that LEA have to provide some schooling for him even if its only 5 hours per week. LEA say not if you choose to withdraw child from school.

I'm beating my head against a brick wall. I just can't cope anymore.

coppertop Wed 09-Feb-05 21:24:48

TC's idea is a good one. IPSEA should be able too help with this. I don't know their number but it should be easy to google for. Apparently it can take a while to get through but it's definitely worth it.

CleanKittyCat Wed 09-Feb-05 21:27:54

Don't know who ISPEA are sorry!!

MeerkatsUnite Wed 09-Feb-05 21:28:59


Would certainly concur with Thomcat's suggestion to contact IPSEA. Their website is and they also have a helpline number you can call.

Like Maddiemo has mentioned I also know of this happening at my son's infants school; this child's support at lunchtime was practically non existant, they also threatened permanent exclusion. As she rightly says more support and not permanent exclusion is the way forward.

I know you don't feel like fighting but fight this you must. You need support for you and your family unit. IPSEA and the LEA are good places to start your fight.

I wish you well

Dingle Wed 09-Feb-05 21:29:13

{{{{hugs}}} to you CleanKittyCat.

Can't offer you any advice,,,just hugs!

Merlot Wed 09-Feb-05 21:32:06

Feel for you Kittycat- no practical advice I'm afraid - but hang on in there.

MeerkatsUnite Wed 09-Feb-05 21:32:11


IPSEA are the Independent Panel for Specialist Education Advice. They are an invaluable resource to all parents of special needs children who face problems with regards to their childrens' educational needs.

Their details are as follows:-

England and Wales (freephone):
0800 0184016
Mon to Thu 10--4 and 7--9;
Fri 10--1 and 7--9

During school holidays times are reduced. Please ring for availability.

Do call them!!!

MeerkatsUnite Wed 09-Feb-05 21:35:43

Hey CKC,

This is the address I found for the Doncaster Autistic Society:-

Doncaster Autistic Society
5 Heather Court
Shaw Wood Business park

Tel: 01302 328 271

CleanKittyCat Wed 09-Feb-05 21:38:45

They had funding withdrawn and had to move out of offices on monday 7th Feb. Thnks all the same Meerkatsunite

Davros Thu 10-Feb-05 09:01:31

Suggest you also call the NAS advocacy helpline, find it at their website and PACE at Both autism specific so may actually be better than IPSEA in this case although I'd still contact IPSEA too.

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