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Single parent with SN child.,,,off-loading my fears

(13 Posts)
lourobert Wed 23-Jul-08 20:59:35

Im 28 and recently split with dp of 6 years we have a 3 year old with severe special needs. Im bloody scared about doing this alone. Not that ill be 'alone' it was amicable and he'll still be heavily involved and I have a very supportive just scared, as is any parent going solo whether their child have sn or not.....!!

He has awful sleep problems which was barely managable with two around. Endless appointments and visits.

Feel a bit out of my depth really. Love my son dearly and wil continue to strive to do the best for him of course, just dont want to let him down.

no questions but like title said just off loading really. Dont want to trouble my mum with my worries and not great at talking anyway.

2shoes Wed 23-Jul-08 21:53:29

have you joined the yahoo group TTR is not email me at
it gives you a place to rant about "private" stuff.
I feel for you the sleep problems must be very hard on top of everything else.

lottiejenkins Wed 23-Jul-08 21:56:59

Have you thought about asking for respite care? I have had a lady who we call Mummy 2 whos has looked after my son with me since he was 3. Wegot het through SS she is called a Link Parent. Ive been a single Mum for seven years since my husband died and i wont pretend its been a bed of roses cos it aint. Hugs for you.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Wed 23-Jul-08 22:16:50

He's a sweetie. Do ask about respite. Does he have a nursery/pre-school place.

Also help with sleeping. It makes a difference. DS1 has gone to bed with melatonin the last 2 nights as we couldn't cope with him up until gone midnight.

Would be worth asking the paed what the options are.

lourobert Thu 24-Jul-08 09:01:48

Hi all.

Thanks for your replies. He has a nursery place 5 mornings a week during term time. Over the holidays Im paying for ome sessions. As for resipte care I get that through grnadparents, Im vv lucky in that respect plus ex dp will have him also.

As for sleep- done melatonon, worked for a while also prescribed phenagan one night a week and that worked well for 2 weeks and now doesnt make a difference....! He IS getting better but just seems tougher when your dealing with it alone.

I currntrly work 30 hours a week but suppose I should look into whether Ill actually be better off reducing my hours...scary thought!!!

FioFio Fri 25-Jul-08 09:01:39

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PeachyBAHons Fri 25-Jul-08 09:07:11

Hi Lou smile

Do re-try the melatonin after a bit, i find my lads develop resistance really quickly but I can use it on occasions- I couldn't take yet anotyer past midnighter last night so ds3 had a dose last night (its his birthday party today so he was over stimulated)

I always like to look at the pics of your lttle man, he's adorable

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Fri 25-Jul-08 11:51:26

We do the same with melatonin. We use it for 1 or 2 nights in a row to try and re-establish a vaguely sensible sleep routine. If we repeatedly give it then ds1 starts getting up at 3am hmm

FioFio Fri 25-Jul-08 14:04:53

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theheadgirl Sat 26-Jul-08 17:23:10

Hi Lourobert, I'm on my own with 3 girls, DD3 has DS but her main problem is ASD. And Sleep Or Lack Thereof!!! I can completely understand where you're coming from.
So sorry to hear that you and your son's dad have split. My XH and I split when DD3 was 2 years old, I then moved back to where my family is after 20 years away. It is hard I know, especially to remain positive when you don't know what the future holds. I work 16 hours a week (the miniumum I can do to get tax credits!!) and to be honest its a lifeline. I would feel bereft without work.

Phoenix4725 Sun 27-Jul-08 09:25:28

Hi lourobert know how you feel im on my own with 4 children with yougest having special needs ,
Same for me tiredness is the worse and lack of break im lookig forward to preschool when starts september 2 hrs 3 times a week going to be lbiss

But take one day at a time all i do if bad day tomorrow will be better

lourobert Mon 28-Jul-08 09:38:59

Hello all,

Thanks for your replies. Its just nice knowing im not 'alone' Im heading to the CAB on wednesday to get some advice- I need to figure out whether I would be as equally well off by reducing my hours and claiming what I can...I currently work 30 hours.

Stil feeling sad about it all obviously and last night was a tough tough one with ds. When I dropped him at nursery today he was all smiles and I suppose I soon forgave him.

I must out some recent photos on as hes changed so much

theheadgirl Mon 28-Jul-08 20:35:36

The site here is worth a look to work out your entitlements on your own. Then, as you say, you can work out where you stand. And yes, Definitely need more pictures!!

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