ADHD/AS - bullying and racism at school...advice please

[Chocol8]

Will try and keep this short, but my ds has just experienced the 6th lot of bullying at school since September - they are just NOT taking it seriously. On Monday I asked my ds what the mark on his face was and he told me that a bigger lad (well known as a bully) pushed him up against a window and took half a broken tile off a window sill outside and held it against the side of his face. A bruise came out the day after (which I have photographed).

I called the school Tuesday morning to complain and said that I wanted a meeting with the head immediately. I eventually heard that the only time they could fit me in was a week on Thursday (10th). I explained that it was a serious matter but they still attempted to fob me off. Regarding the racial incidents (against my ds for being Christian) I spoke to the Racial distrimination board and they said if I wasn't satisfied with their response, they would take it further on my behalf.

Today when I collected him his teacher wanted a word (and actually shouted at my ds in front of me) to tell me that he had pulled his trousers and pants down infront of a girl. My ds was very upset and said that the girl had told him to and she had then ran and told the teacher. I know he is not lying but the teacher has said (and written in his home/school book) that the girl is not the sort of girl that would do this. I asked the teacher to please complain to the head as it would do me a favour because I am looking to start the statementing process. The school seem reticent in doing this and have at my request asked the social difficulties team to assess him for extra help. Academically he is brilliant, but because of the AS, he finds it hard to interact with his peers, although he does really try.

My ds has had classroom support since he started this school, but the new head has removed it and my ds and the other autistic child in the class are floundering.

If you have any ideas of things to be said at the meeting on Thursday, I would be very grateful, thank you.

[coppertop]

Why on earth did the Head have the classroom support removed???

I would take along the evidence that you've collected so far about the bullying and tell the Head that you will be taking this evidence higher up if nothing is done. Set a time limit in which you want to see tangible improvements. Do you have a copy of their (useless) bullying policy? I would set out a list of bulletpoints showing where it's not being followed. Again threaten to take it further. I would definitely mention what you've already been told will happen if the racial element isn't dealt with.

Very on your behalf, Choc.

[MrsFROSTgetful]

i am so sorry that u r still having these awful problems.... my friend's son ( not diagnosed...but is at school action plus etc) was bullied at school for being a christian too...his parents are active in a small church- his dad is a lay preacher... and the school has a head who is a minister at a different church- so i was gobsmacked when she told me. not much help- sorry!

You could go to the Ed Welfare officer at the LEA...and state that you will not be taking him to school etc etc etc...when i did this at the last school the ed welfare officer rang the old school to 'discuss' my concerns in an official capacity...may 'wake the school up'

[jabberwocky]

I don't know if this would work in the UK but here in the states a friend of mine got so fed up with the situation that she finally told the school principal she was going to file charges of assault against said bully if it happened again. He was amazed at first as the children were quite young (7 years I think) but she persisted that the situation was quite serious and it would not be tolerated between adults, etc. Anyway, it got his attention and the matter was finally dealt with.

[MeerkatsUnite]

Chocol8,

I would also like to know exactly why the support got withdrawn as well. Unbelievable. Was wondering what sort of school this actually is.

You can start the statementing process without the help of the head, you as the parent can write the initial letter to the LEA requesting assessment. Have a look at IPSEA's website www.ipsea.org.uk.

TBH I don't think you are going to get anywhere here at this school unless their attitudes change and perhaps therefore you will need to find another school. It seems that this school has many fundamental problems in any event.
With regards also to the bullying incidents I would also suggest you look at www.bullying.co.uk. There is plenty of info on there for both children and parents.

I would also have police involvement re the bruising. You have photographic evidence as well.

[Chocol8]

Thanks for your good advice ladies.

With the change from Infants and Juniors to a Primary school came lots of changes of staff and the head. The class assistant he had loved him and she loves him. When she was told that she would not be looking after him anymore, she went into depression and had to take time off work, then her contract was not renewed just before Christmas. She still has no job.

Out of the 6 bullying incidents that I know about, 2 of them could be considered as assault and when I raised this with the deputy head he didn't react.

The girls who have been racist to my son are muslim and are saying that they are better than Christians - this comes from the parents presumably, as they are only 6 or 7yo. This would be a very different story if it was the other way round.

I have looked at the website Meerkats - I use it as a link on my website for young people, it is very good. I will call IPSEA next week and am going to a Statementing talk this morning (when I finally get dressed!), and have an SEN conference locally to attend in a fortnight, which I bet none of the teachers at his school will attend!

I am going to be making appointments to see other schools in our area and start the search for a new one. By the way this is a mainstream school.