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social services are patronising gits

(23 Posts)
sarah293 Tue 15-Jul-08 15:22:21

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iBundle Tue 15-Jul-08 15:23:27


sarah293 Tue 15-Jul-08 15:49:40

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PheasantPlucker Tue 15-Jul-08 16:05:05

I hate the bastards. Ours have just cut our respite despite the review showing dd's needs are higher, and despite the fact we scored a lot higher this time round than last time. And because I dared to lose my temper with the woman I am described as 'emotionally volatile' in the review. I have got the review as an email and am sending it on the local MP, Cameron and Brown. (Yes, this is getting personal!)

Don't mean to highjack your post, just trying to say I agree with you, and am sending some internet support. For what it's worth.

Fuck em. I hate them. (And I am usually quite rational and not so reactionary.....!)

ChopsTheDuck Tue 15-Jul-08 16:13:11

they think they know best about everything. Drove me nuts too.

PeachyBAHons Tue 15-Jul-08 16:29:05

yep theyre bloody useless (sorry to mn sw, but thats my experience)

our review for ds3- when i was asking for someone to help if i went intp hospital to deliver ds4- just says 'mum is intelligent and caring', no help offered

because of course intelligent caring mums never have childbirth emergencies then? fgs

Riven, your house is not a mess, its homely yes but was nice and welcoming. Your boys are from what I saw lovely young men to be proud of and hence a good reflection on your parenting.

as for the cosleeping thats your choice and with your d's needs nigh on essential I would say!

My last job was aligned to SS and I did lots of revews, when I met you I saw nothing to ring any alarm bells, quite the reverse- this person was just being a complete cowbag.

cory Tue 15-Jul-08 17:35:34

I had very limited contact with SS (and certainly no help!) but I found the best policy was to tell them as little as possible about our private arrangements. Unfortunately, most parents probably do the same- which perhaps means they don't learn enough about the parameters of normal parental behaviour.

MannyMoeAndJack Tue 15-Jul-08 17:51:27

This is terrible but it sadly fits my own experience of SS and (some) SWs. You cannot win with some of their assessments: appear too 'on top of things' and you'll receive a report that states, 'house appeared to be in good order'; but get angry and you'll be asked whether you've been prescribed anti-ds or thought about going for counselling.

The main objective with SS/SWs is to preserve their budgets at all costs.

Although they know that we are reliant upon them for obtaining help, they are simply not there when the going gets tough and it all kicks off. It's so easy for them to walk into our lives for an hour or so, espouse the latest theory and then walk away again.

cocolepew Tue 15-Jul-08 17:52:54

You should have made her call you 'Dr. Riven'.

PheasantPlucker Tue 15-Jul-08 17:54:55

Totally agree with MannyMoeAndJack.

MannyMoeAndJack Tue 15-Jul-08 17:54:59

And I wonder whether their concern about your sleeping arrangements is just them being worried that your dh may up and leave - which they envisage would lead to you asking for more help! Talk about covering all the bases.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Tue 15-Jul-08 17:58:34

They're shite.

Sent my second complaint to them in one month this week.

Utterly utterly shite.

They forget their job is to support.

MannyMoeAndJack Tue 15-Jul-08 18:00:05

They are administrators first and foremost, even if they don't realise it themselves!

TotalChaos Tue 15-Jul-08 18:03:03

Re:mess in house and co-sleeping - why the f*ck don't they see that's WHY you need respite.

btw your DS when I met him seemed amazingly polite and charming and articulate for a teen. so quite what they think you need lecturing on baffles me.

bullet123 Tue 15-Jul-08 18:27:25

I would be fuming as well.

sarah293 Tue 15-Jul-08 19:43:58

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PeachyBAHons Tue 15-Jul-08 21:08:30

I sleep withany of mine as needs be, Sam is twice your dd's age and we only started to get him out when baby came, I have no issues with that, it calmed him at school, as he was sleeping better. Win-win

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Tue 15-Jul-08 23:14:07

Well of course you\re going to sleep with a child who has seizures. It's obvious.

They've always marked my house down as 'child friendly' because it's such a mess sounds like you had a gitty one.

ScummyMummy Tue 15-Jul-08 23:17:25

silly cow. complain.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Tue 15-Jul-08 23:18:22

HOw's social work scummy? (missed you). I always think- 'I wish I had scummy' when I moan about SWers.

ScummyMummy Tue 15-Jul-08 23:20:00

It's good actually. I have lots of lovely clients with mental illnesses. How are you?

sarah293 Wed 16-Jul-08 08:06:58

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PeachyBAHons Wed 16-Jul-08 09:43:05

They shouldn't Riven, there are com[laints procedures, but sadly you can't legialte for the sort of idiot yu came up against who might threaten anything

Although always remember its not that easy- despite what they like you to think!

I used to work with some fab SW, but 99% even of the good ones were burned out sadly

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