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how to stop ds2 gathering things

(5 Posts)
Saker Thu 27-Jan-05 20:18:07

Sorry couldn't think of a meaningful name for this thread. I just wondered if anyone had any experience of this. My Ds2 has delayed development, especially in fine and gross motor skills, spatial awareness, possibly is dyspraxic. He does this thing where whenever you do an activity with him he has to hold as many of the objects involved in the activity as possible. So for example, if we are drawing he wants to hold all the pens, if we are at music therapy he gathers up all the drumsticks, if we are doing a jigsaw he picks up most of the pieces, if we are matching pictures he won't leave the ones matched lying he has to hold all of them, he even holds all 4 pieces of a slice of toast cut into quarters.

It's very frustrating because his fine motor skills are not good and it makes it more difficult or impossible for him to actually do something. Obviously we try to clear the area and deal with one object at a time but this isn't always possible. I feel if I could understand why he does this it might help to deal with it - has anyone else come across this before?

heartinthecountry Thu 27-Jan-05 20:50:28

Sorry Saker - no experience. do you think it might be a control thing? does he seem to want to do the activities? Just thinking about my dd and if she doesn't want me to brush her hair for eg she tries to grab the hairbrush. I think because she realises that if she is holding it I can't brush. So maybe he is holding everything *so that* he can't do the activity??

Hmm - hope someone else who has experience comes along soon.

JakB Thu 27-Jan-05 21:23:57

Saker, we have had this kind of thing with dd (although she sort of aimlessly grabs at anything and everything!!!). We do, as you've tried, and try to just have one thing out at a time. One puzzle piece, one piece of toast etc etc...
bumping this for somebody with more advice, though. Would do with some myself...

onlyjoking Thu 27-Jan-05 21:57:58

oh i so know this one, my DD is a bag lady she carts everything she can around in bags, i can hardly lift her bag it has ELC catolouge x2 and countless other stuff in it, she knows she is not allowed to take it out of the house, but she is so watchful of her bag she can sense from another room if someone touchs it, if anyone goes upstairs she stands at the bottom of the stairs to check they don't touch it, she likes her things around her and gets very stressed without them, she has got better over the years, she did used to sleep with it under her pillow and she took it in the bath once too

Saker Thu 27-Jan-05 23:13:19

Thanks for the replies.

HITC - I think it might be a control thing because it is definitely more pronounced with activities he doesn't like such as drawing. It might be a way of trying to avoid actually drawing is to spend time collecting the pens up. He does like jigsaws and though he collects the pieces in his hands there is some logic as he collects related pieces that he eventually puts together so that might not be the same. Don't know about the toast though but his eating is very much a whole body experience anyway !

Onlyjoking, he doesn't carry things around and doesn't worry not to have things with him so I think it is less of a reassurance thing than a control thing. In fact he is not very attached to any object and doesn't even have a favourite teddy, though he is quite fond of his "gag" as he calls his cuddly blanket.

He does fiddle a lot as well, kick his feet constantly that sort of thing, he seems to need quite a lot of physical feedback so I wondered if it helped him use his hands to feel where they were - does that make any sense?

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