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Big week next week not sure what to expect

(30 Posts)
meea Thu 06-Jan-05 17:48:48

On Tuesday next week we are attending ds2's first therapy meeting it is supposed to be to sort out an appropriate nursery place or support in his present nursery.His portage worker ,physio ,ot,nursery manager,st,someone from early years who sits on the panel and his consultant are meant to be attending although i know his st, nursery manager are definatly not going to be there.What happens at these meetings I am beginning to get nervous about this.
We will probably get the results of his bone scan from his consultant at this meeting as well.
Then after the stress of this we have an appointment on Wednesday with a clinical phy no idea what to expect from that either .

JakB Thu 06-Jan-05 17:56:52

Oh blimey love, one of THOSE weeks... In my experience, these meetings are OK. They will want to know what you want for ds2 and what you think the appropriate support/placement would be for him. They have always asked me my opinion first at these meetings and I've found it helpful to jot my thoughts down the night before. It's his shame that the ST and nursery manager will not be there. Why? Could you rearrange so they could be? What are your honest thoughts for the best possible situation for DS2? As for the clinical psych appointment, I've only had one and she surmised that DD was doing very well but I needed more support and was finding it all very hard!

JakB Thu 06-Jan-05 17:57:38


meea Thu 06-Jan-05 18:06:55

His consultant is so busy we had to go with when she could make it .To be honest i am a bit annoyed with his nursery manager she has an ofsted meeting and says that she cant release anyone else to attend in her place. His st has sent a report which I have recieved a copy of claims to know loads about him cosidering she has seen him once and spent most of that time watching her phone in case her sons nursery rang.
She has just returned from maternity leave.
Don't like the idea of having to speak first.
I know his consultant will be on our side but don't think anyone else will be.

JakB Thu 06-Jan-05 18:28:57

meea, that's terrible. Is it an urgent meeting or could you rearrange when the nursery manager is there? Is there a SALT who does know him very well? Could they submit a report?

meea Thu 06-Jan-05 18:39:27

It is fairly urgent as ds2 is 3 in April so portage will stop then and it will all be up to me .I just think we both need and deserve a bit of support.
He has had his first day at nursery today without his big sister who has started school this week.
He has been fine apparently but I find it hard not knowing what he has done all day I asked him what he had for snack and he has had stars and christmas songs according to him.
He has also come home in some of their trousers because he was complaining they were hurting him.
But I think again this is his communication problems as I am certain he was trying to tell them his back was hurting.
It is just so frustrasting.

JakB Thu 06-Jan-05 18:47:24

Oh God! He obviously needs support and they need to write decent notes at the end of the day. See what you mean about the urgency. Have the nursery submitted a report? Can your DH come with you to the meeting for support? Do you want DS2 to continue at the nursery but with full-time one-on-one? Do you think you need to get a statement for him?
Sorry, so many questions...

meea Thu 06-Jan-05 19:01:55

Dh is coming with me although he will have been at work all night so will probably fall asleep in a corner.
Nursery have'nt submitted a report she is waiting for the consultant to contact her.I am not sure that nursery want him to have support they feel he is coping and don't want to single him out from the other kids.I just feel it would be nice to have a bit of help with his therapies and get some feedback on what he is doing at nursery up until now dd2 has been able to tell me if he has been upset or had a problem.
As for the statement we have been told that there is no way he would get one so there is'nt any point in applying.
Some days it just feels like we get all the c* and no support at all.

Dingle Thu 06-Jan-05 19:02:15

Hi meea, good luck with it all. I really hope it goes well for you. It has been said before about what a strain these type of appointments can be.
{{{{{{hug to you}}}}}}}]

coppertop Thu 06-Jan-05 19:02:26

I thought portage only finished when the child starts school? Ds1's continued until July 2004 and he then started school in September 2004.

Better communication between home & nursery is definitely something to bring up at the meeting. I'd also note down what exact help you think ds needs. You may not necessarily get it all but it can't hurt to ask. If ds doesn't already have them you could ask about IEPs. When ds1 was at pre-school/playgroup we had IEP meetings every 6 weeks or so. The Early Years people, the Area SENCO and the SALT attended each one.

JakB Thu 06-Jan-05 19:05:37

Great advice CT. Meea, sorry, you've talked about the statement thing before. If they give you the support without a statement then it's not a concern. What is their reasoning for having no chance of getting a statement? Sorry to bring it up And sorry you feel so unsupported hon

meea Thu 06-Jan-05 19:20:14

No IEP was told he would have to have a statement to get one of those .
He is'nt bad enough to get a statement portage worker and consultant both agree on that may be it depends were in the country you are.
Portage stops at 3 when they hand over to nursery and a early years support worker who will visit nursery once a term.
Because of the problems between nursery and his portage worker he is'nt getting a prpoer hand over she will just stop coming and we will have to stop attending playgroup.

coppertop Thu 06-Jan-05 19:23:00

Ds1 didn't have a statement either. He was on Early Years Action Plus (the pre-school version of School Action Plus). I thought children on the SN register had to have an IEP. It might be worth looking into.

meea Tue 11-Jan-05 14:52:34

Well have just got back from the therapy meeting .
Have been told that my son is delighful and making great progress.Which amazingly I all ready knew.
Ds2 will not get any support in nursery they side tracked the idea of him having an IEP needs a statement for that it couldn't be enforced.
Got a hug from his consultant after every one else has left she told us that basicly ds2 will not get help until he begins to fail and fall behind.So basicly we should have ignored him for the past 2 years then he would get the support he deserves.
Why do I always come away from these things an emmotional wreck got to try and pull myself together for tomorrow now.

maddiemo Tue 11-Jan-05 17:04:59

Do you know if he is on Early Years Action Plus as it sounds to me like he should be. I also think he should have an IEP so that the nursery can set small targets for him and monitor his progress.

I know how you feel about having a child with needs who is unlikely to get a statement but may struggle without. Today I was told that ds4 has borderline severe language difficulties. I know my LEA well, as ds3 does have a statement and I know that ds4 is unlikely to get one. It is so frustrating.

Blossomhill Tue 11-Jan-05 17:40:42

Borderline severe language difficulties? Sorry maddiemo but does that make sense to you? It just seems a confusing statement to make!

maddiemo Tue 11-Jan-05 18:02:52

Blossom Hill He is being assessed for a place at a language class for which he needs to have either a language disorder diagnosis, or a severe language difficulty. we have no diagnosis
I think the SALT was telling me that although his needs are severe enough for a place in the class now, he is borderline and when a place becomes available, which may not be until September he may be considered too able for the class even though he will still have significant need.

Too many children after too few spaces

Blossomhill Tue 11-Jan-05 18:18:45

maddiemo - what a nightmare ! Fingers crossed that he does get a place.
As you know my dd is in a unit attached to a mainstream and the criteria is that you have to have a langauge or/and speech disorder. She has been assessed as having a mild language disorder, don't know what that means but I do know it was moderate/severe at the age of 3!

meea Tue 11-Jan-05 19:04:54

What is early years action plus there was talk about inclusion workers and early years teachers .To be honest I feel really let down by the system.

MeerkatsUnite Tue 11-Jan-05 19:14:13


I cannot understand why they are linking an IEP with a statement. You do not need a statement to get an IEP done.

I would apply for that Statement of special need when your son gets into Infant school at 5 (this is what I did. Two refusals later the LEA said yes we'll statement your son). It can be done (I still carry some emotional scars though).

Don't let the nay sayers put you off any. It is bloody difficult but I urge you to keep the pressure up on these people and not give up.

You as the parents know your son the most..

meea Tue 11-Jan-05 19:18:29

Thanks meerkatsunite I really needed to here that have been left feeling down by today and was seriously wondering if it is all worth it.

Dingle Tue 11-Jan-05 19:20:32

meea, I may be wrong but I will dig out the paperwork to confirm it if necessary. (I did a half day course last year to cover the basics of early-action/plus and school action/plus.)

Firstly I recieved a call today from our Portage/Early Years team, this was because I have been pestering them about dd getting a home visiting teacher. Our Portage worker is meant to be visiting every fortnight and realistically visit once a month if we're lucky- I feel it's time to more forward. Basically he said that unless I plan for dd to go to a special school, she would not get a statement. Our LEA will not statement a child who is going to a mainstream school it is therefore up to the individual schools to meet the needs of the child within their set SEN budget. It is up to me, as a parent together with the school to get an IEP in place and work together to make sure dd achieves the targets set by us.
Does this make sense???

Blossomhill Tue 11-Jan-05 19:23:50

Hope it all goes well meea xxx
Just to let you know dd got her statement at just over 3. Had to push but without it she wouldn't be where she is today. Before the statement came through she was on school action plus!

MeerkatsUnite Tue 11-Jan-05 19:30:06


I am not surprised you feel let down - a lot of people feel exactly the same as you. I know of someone else who's also being put through the wringer re her son in Infants.

My son was put on School Action Plus when in Reception class in Infants. He got 4 hours of support a week (working in a small group as well as a classroom setting). His Reception school teacher thought he should have entered Infants with a statement - I told her that I had enquired about this when he was in preschool but was given a resounding no by his Educational pyschologist.

I started the Statement process last January (three months after he entered reception) - I got the statement finalised last September, it takes 26 weeks (or thereabouts) to get one of these things drawn up. BTW his Ed pysch that he had in the infants was replaced by another one who said DS needed statementing.

Faced with a barrage of evidence from various bods all saying the same thing the LEA gave us the statement. They wanted me to give up - wrong person!.

Once the LEA agree to assess your son a statement will follow.

I found IPSEA ( very useful to talk to and would suggest you also contact them.

I wish you and your family well


heartinthecountry Tue 11-Jan-05 22:51:00

Meea - sorry to say it but I think you just have to keep fighting. Sounds like they are really trying to fob you off. Agree with Meerkatsunite - contact IPSEA.

Dingle - I don't understand how your LEA can say they won't statement a child with SN if they go to a mainstream school. How does that fit in with the government's inclusion policy? Utter bollocks! (not what you say but their policy ).

I can't quite believe what a f**king mess education for children with SN seems to be in this country and how it is such a lottery depending on where you live and their own idiosyncratic policies. Really quite angry about this .

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