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I think somethings not quiet right with him....

(32 Posts)
Mothernature Wed 05-Jan-05 11:01:25

Our nephew was 2 before christmas, he had a fit which resulted in his mother giving him the kiss of life, he had ben unwell for a while, his temperature was elevated causing him to convulse.

He has since had a brain scan and other tests, his mother is reluctant to discuss what the results were, but he has tendancies that make me think he may have something wrong with him, I would welcome any comments on his following traits.

1. He's got a 'thing' for doors he has to open and close them at least 50 times before he can settle.
2. He will not play they way other children do, he get very upset straight away if he cannot do something the way he wants.
3. He will not be cuddled at all, he hates physical contact with people.
4. No eye contact.
5. Very limited verbal communication.
6. The words he can say are always monotone and repeats what your last words were.
7. He has a thing with his fingers, they are always straight out and he sort of flicks them against one another.
8. He has to carry around his 'boys' at the last count 5 big teddies/cuddly toys.
9. Eats very little and cannot sit still long enough to eat properly.
10. Throws terrific tantrums.

Am I being over sensitive or do you think these are early signs of something else.

juniperdewdrop Wed 05-Jan-05 11:09:47

The poor wee man how scary for his mum.

Are you wanting to know so you can support her properly? Maybe it's early days yet and she'll open up soon enough?

Hope some of the SN mums will impart their wisdom soon hun, I don't feel I can but wanted to send (((hugs)))

Mothernature Wed 05-Jan-05 11:14:24

Juniperdewdrop, thank you for your hugs, Yes we want to support her, but as I said she won't open up to us at the moment, I don't know if this is because there is nothing wrong or that they are waiting for more test's, after all he is only 2 at the moment, I have a friend whose daughter was diagnosed as Autistic 16 years ago, but she was nearly 4 before the said yes it was autism...I would love to be able to talk to her about her experience but I am not in contact with her at the moment...anyone who can comment I would appreciate it very much.

coppertop Wed 05-Jan-05 11:15:11

Some of those behaviours sound a lot like ds1 at a similar age, although I'm not necessarily saying that your nephew is autistic.

When ds1 eventually started to talk he had a lot of echolalia (copying what someone else had said). When he started to use his own words he sounded like a robot . How is your nephew's non-verbal communication? What does he do when he wants something?

Ds1 had very little eye contact and didn't really have any play skills. When he did learn how to play later on he had very fixed ideas of how things should be done.

Presumably if he's had a brain scan and other tests then the doctors already suspect that there may be a problem. Does your sister/SIL get any help/support from outside the family?

Twiglett Wed 05-Jan-05 11:17:01

I think you just have to be there for the mum and treat the child as naturally as you can .. does sound autistic spectrum TBH which I'm sure is what you're thinking

if he just had brain scan in December I bet your sister / SIL is coming to terms with it and just really wants it to go away .. if you push her you may upset her more

Mothernature Wed 05-Jan-05 11:19:23

Coppertop, is answer to your question of:

How is your nephew's non-verbal communication? - What does he do when he wants something? - he takes you either by the hand to where he wants you or he takes hold off your clothes and pulls until you go to where he wants you to be. -

coppertop Wed 05-Jan-05 11:26:38

That does sound a lot like ds1, MN. Alternatively if something was in a locked cupboard he would throw himself at the cupboard over and over again like a mini battering-ram. If ds2 wants something he tends to throw himself on the floor until you guess what he wants although after a lot of work we're starting to see some progress with this.

I think at the moment all you can do is to be there for her when she feels like talking about it and maybe to do some reading about it.

Ds2 is being assessed next month - about a week or so after his 2nd birthday. I'm hoping we'll be told then whether or not he's autistic.

Blossomhill Wed 05-Jan-05 12:03:56

Mothernature - does sound very much as though your nephew could have an asd. I think it was the taking you by the hand to communicate that really made me think that was what it could be. Infact all of the above has made mw think of that as it reminds mo fo my friends ds. Have you tried the National Autistic Society as there website is very informative! (((Hugs to you)))

Mothernature Wed 05-Jan-05 12:08:20

Blossomhill thanks for your reply, I have to go to work now, I hope I can catch up later with any other reply's. Blessed be..

Blossomhill Wed 05-Jan-05 12:16:16

Here is some information on asd from The National Autisitc Society HTH

coppertop Wed 05-Jan-05 12:25:41

It may be that the tests/scans have shown something and she needs time to let it sink in. She may also be grieving for the child she thought she was going to have ie one without SN. Of course they may also have come back negative and she now doesn't know what to think.

The thing that helped me most of all (apart from mumsnet of course ) was being given help from a portage worker. If your sister/SIL doesn't already know about this she can refer herself to the service (ie she doesn't need a GP/HV to do it for her). Someone comes to her home regularly and offers support, advice and practical help. My portage worker was lovely and gave me lots of ideas to help ds1. I'm using some of these ideas with ds2 now. He will be getting a portage worker from next week. They can also help with advice for if/when your nephew goes to a playgroup or pre-school.

All children are different of course but at your nephew's age ds1 was quite severely affected by his autism and had no language skills whatsoever. He spent a lot of time spinning or walking round and round in circles. He has made a lot of progress over the past 2.5 years and is now doing well in a mainstream school with little support in the classroom. I'm not saying that your nephew will necessarily follow the same path but, in a waffling kind of way , trying to say that how they are at 2yrs old isn't necessarily the way they will always be.

Blossomhill Wed 05-Jan-05 12:31:35

I agree coppertop. Although we have no diagnosis as such for dd except langauge/communication disorder dd at 2 is so different to dd now at 5.5. She has come on so much more than I had ever hoped or expected and I think a lot of that is down to early intervention! I pushed and pushed for her to get all of the help she needed, such as the statement and thankfully it seems to be paying off

SantaFio2 Wed 05-Jan-05 12:32:12

oh gawd it sounds like my ds We had to drag him out the hospital yesterday and my dh said ' i am sure he is a bit (?!) autistic'

Blossomhill Wed 05-Jan-05 12:34:28

Have you mentioned any concerns about your ds with anyone Fio?

SantaFio2 Wed 05-Jan-05 12:38:44

he doesnt have limited verbal communicatio though. BH he is being refered for speech therapy because she has a pronunciation problem (we think) started to think it may be his hearing more than anything because he *SHOUTS ALOT*

oh and he has eye contact, okay not completely like my ds. But 3 year olds are very difficult

Blossomhill Wed 05-Jan-05 12:42:55

That's good then Fio as I am sure the SALT will be able to put your mind at rest

onlyjoking9329 Wed 05-Jan-05 12:49:46

it does sound like autism, but having had the scan she may have been told by someone that he was showing signs of autism,we were told this too and it is a warm up i think, but it does give parents the idea that it may disappear,the parents may well be at this stage and only time and info will help

Davrosthesnowwoman Wed 05-Jan-05 15:09:10

Presumably the scan was to detect seizure activity? A high number of people with ASD have epilepsy or develop it or it could be looking for Landau Kleftner Syndrom (sp?). All the things listed make me think autism. I agree you should give her space but don't give her too much iyswim! Its hard to judge when to be a bit more intrusive but maybe just let her know, when you feel she might be more receptive, that you are there to help in whatever way she wants. What about her DH? Are you or your DH closer to him? He may be feeling terrible too.
Fio, autistic people don't necessarily have limited verbal communication, many can speak completely fluently and functionally but can't manage the subtleties of conversation. Mind you, your DS's eye contact sounds pretty good.

FatFluckerFio Wed 05-Jan-05 15:40:17

sorry i am having a very weird day today and didnt read the first post properly, my son only fits a few of those listed. My son is very difficult but I dont think he is on the spectrum, although i do think he has some behavioural issues. At nursery he is an angel though. I sometimes think it is something to do with him having a sister with SN....but thats another topic entirely

fairyfly Wed 05-Jan-05 15:41:08

@ your name fio

Davrosthesnowwoman Wed 05-Jan-05 16:54:28

I didn't think you seriously meant that your DS might have ASD fio (I'm sure not fatflucker!), just thought the language thing was worth mentioning.

FatFluckerFio Wed 05-Jan-05 16:56:10

no i know davros, just thought i ought to explain. my brain is just not in gear

Mothernature Wed 05-Jan-05 18:46:42

bump just back from work hopefully back on tonight thanks for your reply's, hope some more to help.

Merlot Wed 05-Jan-05 20:32:51

Hi Mothernature - reading these posts make me understand a bit better why my ds2 has not got a dx yet. Our ds2 is 16 months and exhibits a few of the traits you outline. We haven't got a dx for ds2 yet, but tbh my gut feeling is that he has a genetically inherited syndrome rather than autism. I'm rambling here, but what I'm trying to say is that I think professionals are reluctant to make a dx because a lot of the behaviour children with sn's exhibit, overlap (iyswim).

Its an emotional minefield but I hope that your nephew gets all the help he needs

Blossomhill Wed 05-Jan-05 20:58:28

Here is the CHAT tests as well which is used by the pros to diagnose autism in toddlers.
Chat Test HTH

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