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advantages/disadvantages of sn child and siblings at same mainstream school?

(10 Posts)
SantaFio2 Mon 03-Jan-05 08:04:38

am a bit lost as to what to do on this one. Would appreciate peoples opinions and experiences. We have had a couple of schools suggested for dd's outreach place both in different neighbouring villages to ours and one in the closest city. I would have preffered for ds to go to the same school as her (mainstream one that is!) but it would mean a bus ride or a very long trek (to the one)

But the logistics of them going to three different schools between them terrifies me. # parents evenings for one and all the other things that go hand in hand with the three different schools scenario. Our closest school has been poo pooed for dd but i am still undecided what to do for ds, let alone being so confused about which one to choose for dd. We have to start looking for ds now so i can put his name down. i am so confused.

Do you think it is more important for him to go to the same school as his sister or the same as his nursery friends and children living around this area? I always remember all the kids on estate going to the same school and I have always felt socially it is importnat to live close to your mates when you are little.

Gosh, so what have you decided? what are the advantages and disadvantages? and does this message make any sense whatsoever?

milge Mon 03-Jan-05 08:13:44

Yes Santafio2 it does make sense, and i too am interested in replies,as i need to make the same decision soon for my two, i've only got 2 schools to choose from, but the them being twins makes is complicated too. Sorry i can't answer your question, but thought i would post some support!

kid Mon 03-Jan-05 08:48:01

Not much advice to offer but, my DD goes to the school where I work and DS is at a different pre-school. The main problem I have is inset days and holidays being at different times. The parents evening thing could also be a problem, but you would have seperate appointments even if they were in the same school. Its one of those difficult decisions that we have to make and then we worry if we have made the right choice.
Have you wrote out a list of all the pro's and con's? Good luck.

sparklymieow Mon 03-Jan-05 08:52:38

I had three children at different schools the last year and it was a nightmare, I was always forgetting parents evenings, when inset days were etc etc. Ds is at a mainstream school, DD1 was at a SN nursery and DD2 is at a preschool up the road. Luckily Dd1 is moving to Ds' school on wednesday. We decided to send her to DS' school because they have worked wonderfully with Ds and have fully supported us throughout his time there and they are very willing to help and support us with DD1 too. Its hard to the head as DS was the first CP child he had ever had in one of his school, and now he has DD1 going in too, but he is wonderful and is great with my demands (dropping into the office to chat about support and worries etc) and never says I am panicking over nothing.
Anyway DD1 is going there and I hope she will do as well as DS

maddiemo Mon 03-Jan-05 09:31:18

It is a hard decision. I think I would pick the school that seems the best for ds.

I have had three children at three different schools and will have again in Jan when ds4 starts the nursery attached to the mainstream school which ds1 and 2 used to attend.

I transferred my ds2 to the mainstream school where my ds3 attends the sn unit. However he was unhappy at my local school so the decision was easy. I have to drive as the school is five miles away. If you don't drive I think it would be hard on you all to have to bus to school each day.

The advantages of having my sn and non sn children together are that I have a rounded picture of school life and find out a lot of info from my non sn son.

My ds2 does not seem to miss his local school friends. The school had a wide catchment so many children travelled some distance. The children that he plays with on the green outside our house attend a variety of schools.

I keep a calender which has a column for each child. I write everything down as soon as I get any letters. I do get confused especially with ds1 who is at secondary and has totally different school holidays but have not missed any school events yet.

Good luck choosing.

Davrosthesnowwoman Tue 04-Jan-05 09:44:34

Can you put DS down for more than one and make the final decision nearer the time? How much will the special school manage DD's attendance at M/S? Generally we follow the rule that we try to make decisions and choices based on what is best for DS at that particular time and it will work out best for everyone. Difficult though, wouldn't fancy it myself!

SantaFio2 Wed 05-Jan-05 06:46:41

Thanks everyone, i am so undecided still! Glad to know though i am not the only one who worries about these things. The problem with the local school is that it is old, lots of steps and 4 (!!) reception classes. I think it would just be too overwhelming for dd. Plus it has a seperate junior school which her special school think will be too difficult for her to comprhend. Special school will take complete control at her mainstream setting and dd will have a 'familar' support worker from the special school with her at all times until she is advanced enough to manage some time on her own.

The one school has a nursery attched so ds would be able to start there next year but he is so shy and i think he would be better staying in the nursery he is in atm tbh.

Third school is a primary and has a very good reputation with SN children. It has a SEN unit attached (they specialise in hearing impared children but are very experienced with autistic children so that would be good as far as PECS is concerned. Plus it is right by the beach and I am geeting all romantic about the schools setiing, tell me to stop it!!

Oh and there is a fourth, I forgot. Next Village but also has a good reputation.

Oh gawd i still dont know

kid Wed 05-Jan-05 07:27:42

By reading your reply, I think you have already decided that the local school wouldn't be suitable with the steps and 4 reception classes.

Good luck with your decision making, its not an easy job but I'm sure you will make the best choice by looking at all the possibilites. I'm glad my kids are sorted out schoolwise, I would hate to have to choose them all over again!

mum38 Wed 05-Jan-05 12:40:25

Just wanted to say good luck with your decision. it's something I might be facing -I have 3 children who might all be at different schools in a couple years. The school with the good SN department sounds interesting to me. From my experience having a strong SN dept can give the whole school a caring supportive environment which is somthing that would benifit all children. Also how cool to get to play on the beach afterwards!

tallulah Wed 05-Jan-05 17:50:59

Fio, if it's any help I had my four at four different schools for years!

I found that the school that was ideal for one child was no good at all for another, so in the end they had a school each

It helped my ADHD DS that he wasn't having to compete with his brothers (he remains horribly jealous of DS3) & they didn't get that "aren't you Xs brother?" with all the negative connotations that entails! Each one was judged on their own merits & not by something their sibling had done.

Different Inset days were a boon too, giving each child alone time.

(We've now got all 3 boys at the same school- not intentionally (& DD gone to Uni) - & I can honestly say that although the pick up/drop off is much easier, I and they preferred it when they each had their own kingdom.)

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