Right from day one school was not the place for J. He is STILL awaiting a dx of ASD(Aspergers) although we have dx of a whole host of other conditions on the spectrum.
J suffered every day he was in school. He was taunted, bullied, assaulted - by other pupils and Staff.
We fought so hard to get J his statement and finally won the battle.
Even with his 1:1 support J hated every minute he was in school.He could not bear the noise, the social communication, the smell, the pressure of school work. No matter how many times I went into school to ask for help in dealing with J's difficulties, nothing was ever done to accomodate J's needs.
It became a real case of J fitting the school and not the school meeting J's emotional and educational needs.
I sat and watched my son disappear. He locked himself away further into his own world. Communication with him was breaking down faster than a bolt of lightening. He didnt trust us...we were hurting him every day because we sent him to the hell whole we called school.
Finally J enlisted the help of his one and only friend and he wrote a letter to us explaining how he felt. He wrote this letter in his jotter book and then left it in a place where we would find it.......
Dear Mummy & Daddy,
Help. I scared. I fritenen. I hurt. School hurt me. School make me sic. The bell hurt me. The childrn hurt me. They laff at me. They hurt me. I run away. I run fast. Faster home. Home safe. Home cosy. Home to Mum. Home to Dad.School make me ded. I want ded. I love you. Help me. I scared.
Jxxxxxxx
Finding that letter reduced me to tears. I thought I had done everything I could do to help my son. I had fought for his needs to be met in his school. I had fought for him to be kept in a mainstream school but I had battled to keep J in an environment where he would never be understood. Made me feel like a real cr@p parent.
J asked his Dad to tell him how to hang himself....not nice things to hear from your child.
Hubby and I made the decission that night to remove our son from mainstream schooling. We got our GP to write a letter to the LEA stating that the placement in a mainstream school was causing our son psychological damage and that J should remain absent from school until a placement in the local special school could be offered.
LEA rolled over and played ball.....we have got a placement for J in Sept 05....in the meantime J is at home with us being educated by ourselves.
He has come on in leaps and bounds and has begun to laugh again. He is sooooo much happier now....and so is the whole house.
Sometimes school just is not the right place for some children.....we just have to listen to them.
The sad thing is it took me 5 years before I really listened to my son....and thank goodness I did...I dread to think what may have happened if I hadn't.