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can't cope with him!!

(12 Posts)
sarahg31 Wed 22-Dec-04 18:27:54

I am in the process of moving out of a violent relationship and now on top of it all I have my six year being extremely hyperactive, destructing everything and hitting his 17 month brother. He is currently trying to put himself in the washing machine at the moment because I said he can't open his presents until christmas. He is eplieptic and had his fortnightl fits 2 das ago which should have calmed him down. I don't wantrespite as I feel it is my responsbility. I can't cope with it all. I have been in floods of tears all day and need to talk to someone as there is onl children to have a conversation with.

Chocol8 Wed 22-Dec-04 18:38:04

Oh poor you Sarah! I don't know about epilepsy, but my ds is ADHD/AS, and regularly has bouts of tantrums. Like you and everyone else, they are difficult to deal with, but you are not alone as you will shortly see.

I haven't looked into respite...yet. I cannot discount it and there are Mums here for whom it is a lifeline. Yes he is your responsibility but we all need a bit of R&R occasionally to recharge our batteries. You're no good to your children if you are reduced to a gibbering wreck (as I so often am).

I'm sure someone will be along to help you out with the practicalities of respite - good luck and lots of hugs. x

mum38 Wed 22-Dec-04 18:40:03

So sorry you are having so much to deal with. My son (with speech and language problems) can be really hyper too plus hitting out at his little sister-its very stressful when you can't leave them alone. I know you don't want respite but have you any family/friends who can take him out to the park/ soft play place for a couple of hours so he can burn off a bit of energy and you can get a break? Wish I could say something better that would help,


WideWebWitch Wed 22-Dec-04 18:42:40

You poor thing. Of course it's hard, well done for making the decision to leave a violent relationship though, I'm sure you're doing the best thing for you and your children. Have you got any family nearby who will help or that you can stay with? There's nothing wrong with respite help, you're human and it's your responsibility to look after yourself too. I do feel for you, plenty of us know what it's like to only talk to children all day and it can be very wearing, even without any SNs. Welcome to mumsnet, I hope there's someone along soon who can help more.

sarahg31 Wed 22-Dec-04 18:47:35

There isn't anyone that can help me at the moment. mum is away in cyprus sister lives up north. So it is just me myself and i. I have to nip this in the bud soon soon as I am becoming very ill and extremely thin through stress and worry. No time for myself at all. The docs have said it is his medication but I don't know

Frizbethereindeer Wed 22-Dec-04 18:54:03

Oh hugs hon, have you tried homestart, they can come and assist you in the home and offer you an ear?

sarahg31 Wed 22-Dec-04 18:54:40

will give them a call. thanks

WideWebWitch Wed 22-Dec-04 18:55:24

Homestart are here

sarahg31 Wed 22-Dec-04 19:16:16

cheers u have been most helpful. I am glad there is this website as an escape route

JakBFrostNippingatYourtoes Wed 22-Dec-04 19:29:51

sarahg31, I want to send you lots of hugs {{{hugs}}}. I haven't been in your situation but have felt as if everything is getting too much (have an autistic daughter). I know what you mean about respite but give it some more thought-Chocol8 is right- you need to 'fit your own gas mask first', if you know what I mean. Do you have any friends who understand? It must be very hard for you to cope with at the same time as leaving a violent relationship

sarahg31 Wed 22-Dec-04 20:26:10

I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's whether I'll reach it b4 I collapse

helsyjinglebellsy Wed 22-Dec-04 20:35:53

Your message just made me cry. My heart goes out to you. You know that what you're doing is right for you and your children, there is help if you can access it, and you're being really strong (don't mean to be patronnising). I believe Homestart can be really supportive. Keep talking on mn - it's a good resource.

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