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anyone toilet trained/ing child with some SN?

(21 Posts)
charlie95 Tue 21-Dec-04 22:49:59

just wondered how anyone else has found this task; ok, did it work out ? how long before you thought they'd pick it up and be independent etc etc...?
all advice welcome. just started my ds nearly 4. done better today than y'day!

blossomgoodwill Tue 21-Dec-04 22:53:46

Hi charlie95 - I potty trained dd between the ages of 2 and 3. It was a long battle but we got there in the end. One bit of advice I read in a nct book was to put the nappy over the potty as a visual clue. I must admit it didn't work with dd but you never know...

mum38 Wed 22-Dec-04 09:05:30

I have some tips-both my dss (one NT and one SN) were difficult to train so I have lots of books/asked lots of advice of this one!

1. Let him run around with nothing on his bottom half to start with. Pants/pullups feel too like nappies. Have potty in same room. Lots of praise for any successes. Low key about the mess.

2. Get him to sit on potty once every 45 mins or so -bribe with sweet/watch of favourite video if you are ok with this. Just to increase the chances of first successes and they begin to "get it"

2. Do lots of role play with favourite teddies running to potty and doing wees etc (this really helped my SN son). Also some potty books are around if your ds likes books?

3. If prone to contstipation (my SN ds was and this can limit the sensation of needing to go) give plenty of fruit -pears & plums seem to work the best for ds!!

Good luck -hope it goes well.

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas Wed 22-Dec-04 10:16:56

Nope and can't see it happening for a while.
The fact that she's not standing or walking come into it. she can't come and find me and she can't tell me etc.
If I'm with her, or my mum is we can see when she wants to go, and we're trying to get her into telling us and each time we sit her on the potty.
The other thing is with constipation being something we live with with her, she can start going at 9am and not actually have finished by that evening! Rather a long time to be sat on a potty!

DingleAlltheWay Wed 22-Dec-04 12:00:05

I am giving it another go with dd ATM!! She did show some signs of wanting to do it back in the summer, had a few nappies being taken off and a few wees in a potty, but nothing more.
This last week I am making more of an effort with her, asking if she needs to go, sitting her on the potty, just so that she is used to it. We have had quite a few little wees, and she stands up, put her arm in the air and yells ""woo woo woo!" I can't see her doing no2's on the potty for a long time yet, again with the constipation, it can take her a long time and she seems to cope better by walking around in her nappy IYKWIM!
Good luck, keep us up to date of how it's going!

charlie95 Wed 22-Dec-04 14:20:37

thanks everyone. i bought a gina ford book while ago. generally atm i constantly remind ds to 'dont forget to ask mummy for ....' and he answers wee/toilet/potty. he'll only use potty now. not toilet yet although has sat on loo in school! today we waited 3 hrs after b'fast for first wee of the day ! then it was a big wee! no accidents yet so far. y'day not many either just some drips on pants! so far so good. dont know how we'll manage going out to the other peoples houses yet though. see how it goes up to sat. going out sun. which is why im staying in a lot to sort him out this week and next! noticing a pattern of long spell without anything after b'fast for while so could try taking him for walk up and down the street to help his confidence and fresh air of course. bribery is working well too - video, biscuit, crisps etc...! anyway,i just generally wondered how others managed with sn.

geekgrrl Wed 22-Dec-04 18:39:00

dingle keep us posted.. will tackle this with dd in the new year. We had some half hearted attempts in the summer but it was all a bit much with ds who was crawling then desperate to play in any puddles dd so kindly created for him
Dd changes her own nappies (ok, not poos of course and we have easy-up pants) so it seems a bit silly really that she is still in nappies in a way. I mean, fgs, if she can change her own nappy surely she can just go on the potty?!

SantaFio2 Thu 23-Dec-04 09:38:32

we are training dd. With her 9she is 5) we take her to the toilet at regular intervals (hourly) and let her use the potty or toilet. She has started to hold herself until that hour is up. Also she uses the toilet sign when she needs a poo. I found leaving her without nappies was less than useless and I though it was quite cruel tbh

Jimjams suggested a good book for toilet training but i cant remember what it was called!

coppertop Thu 23-Dec-04 09:50:39

We went through toilet-training with ds1 in the summer holidays, not long after his 4th birthday. The only thing that worked for us was Social Stories. He went through a number of stages with this:

1) Would only use the potty-chair and had a fear of the toilet.

2)Would then use child-sized toilets but not adult-sized ones.

3) Would then use an adult toilet standing up but insisted on the potty-chair for poos.

4) Would use adult-sized toilets for poos too if there was a child-seat on it.

He still wears a nappy at night but this isn't a problem for us atm. I'm still just relieved that he's out of nappies in the daytime.

sinclair Thu 23-Dec-04 12:15:22

For us this has been the hardest thing so far about parenting a child with SN (our DD is 5 and has DS) - we are 18 months in and tho wee is sorted (tho only electively at school, at home waits to be taken, the monkey) poo is a nightmare. Basically my belief is that she is lazy! So am resorting to star chart and Barbie doll bribe once again over the hols. But came on to say a) invest in Biotex, wine, and an extra big stack of patience and b) good luck!! to every one embarking on this particular adventure! Oh, and OF COURSE pull ups/nappies are fine at night - one thing at a time.

SilentNiteForJess Thu 23-Dec-04 18:09:51

I would love to toilet train Alex (age 4 with cp). We have had a few half hearted phases of trying.. I can't even call them proper 'attempts'..I admit, with everything else, it has just seemed 'too hard'. We have a potty chair on long term loan and Alex knows what its for.. but the only wees we have ever caught in it have been pure chance I'm sure.

You guys seems really clued up and have made a note of your advice to othersre: potty training. I was just wondering if there was anyone with a child with similar-ish needs to Alex (ISH because I have never seen a child like Alex and I constantly look!).. who could comment on how successful they feel we might be. I have given up asking for advice from professionals re: Alex.. nobody knows him properly.. and other SN parents are the best source of most advice I have found.

Quick low down on Alex.. dystonic type cp.. can't walk but mobilises well..crawls, CLIMBS! .. short attention span and into everything.. causes MUCH chaos in most environments (although much better at school!!!!). Understands much of what is said to him, if at a basic level and can speak in a lot of single words and short sentences.. although not exactly reliable re: speech. Uses/understands some Makaton.

When he was having Conductive Ed (until this Oct after starting school.. it was too much as well).. he used to go the whole session (3 hours)without wetting his pants.. but never once weed during the potty session. Has never really shown any intetest at home although will point and potty chair and say 'wee'.

What does anyone think? He is a mixture of contradictions.. ie obviously has some bladder control.. but doesn't seem to know when he needs to go. Would really value specific input.

To be honest... I do know if anyone else feels this way.. but it's the poo thing that really gets to me now! I know I should be used to it.. and I am.. but at 4 years old (not constripated thank goodness) he does 'grown up poo' and dealing with it is a lot different than changing babies nappies! He stinks the house out.. we are always burning joss sticks like a commune of hippies .. and it's awful when we have visitors or are at someone's house (which isn't often!). Not too worried about what others think re: poo and Alex (sod 'em! ).. but sometimes I think 'oh God will I be elbow deep in poo my whole life??!' Can anyone else identify with this? Changing a pooey nappy is a 2 person job too.. as he puts his hands in it.. nightmare.. too horrid to go into. And that's only one of the terrible poo scenarios we have had! Suffice to say I go to great lengths to buy him all in one baby grow style pyjamas and he NEVER wears anything else to bed!

Long and rambly I know.. but would love comments on whether anyone thinks Alex COULD successfully toilet train any time soon (or ever!).. and does anyone else struggle with poo!!

Thanks guys..and sorry for the thread hi-jacking again (I sometimes don't know I have these questions until I get triggered by you guys! )

Jess xx

coppertop Thu 23-Dec-04 18:24:10

I don't have any experience of cp but I'm with you on the poo thing. Ds1 has accidents from time to time and his offerings are so foul-smelling that dh would be proud to call them his own. We haven't tried joss-sticks because I wouldn't dare light a naked flame in the immediate vicinity.

SilentNiteForJess Thu 23-Dec-04 18:34:43

Oh we have them burning very high! Everything is very very high in our house! There will come a time when we can't get stuff any higher! Another worry for the future!

coppertop Thu 23-Dec-04 18:38:35

I was thinking more about the explosive factor with all those deadly gases emanating from ds1's direction!

Yep, we have to store everything 6ft off the ground too. I spend half my time asking dh (6ft+) to pass stuff down to me because I can't reach it.

charlie95 Thu 23-Dec-04 19:41:51

once started should we give up at all? when can oyu say its not working this time ? i feel we shouldnt give up yet, as any child has to get used to pants/asking etc. but ds was in a right state last night- i think it was just a tantrum because he couldnt have hat he wanted but i always think, is he sickening for something, is he upset/out of sorts with pants routine ....? today we ventured out round the corner to see his gt grandparents. took potty etc with me. did small wee then eventually asked to go home (which hes never done b4) came back and missed the big wee of the a.m. after that decided to keep him amused by taking him out for drive in car.(and later on too.) came back had lunch, cuddle time/rest then subsequently missed the nxt big wee of the day. been better this pm. and has been asking to sit on potty. building up for poo today but not been yet, unless he realises if he can feel it coming he doesnt want to do it on potty. even asked his daddy for potty while i wasn't there for a minute and missed the potty completely! bless him. happier this pm. going to bed. we generally have to be careful to keep his routine the same as much as possible. i.e. last night didnt do some things we usually do cos he was in mood for not having what he wanted. but i got my mum telling perhaps he feels upset/out of sorts with the whole pants/potty things but i think im not too harsh on him and he is asking and he does produce. i upset myself then.......thinking am i doing the right thing, and i'm trying to do the right thing but dont want to upset ds...............i'd love to know how other people manage. if i dont try it now i dont when i can next try cos of back to school p.m.s only, building work in house going on in new year, baby arriving in march - i dont want to have to stop now and try it then. otherwise it'll be seen as laziness on my part. life - when will it be normal?

mum38 Thu 23-Dec-04 21:15:55

Charlie95. Sorry your ds got upset last night but it sounds like he is getting there. Is it def. the potty training-just wondered if the whole build up to Christmas could be affecting him? My ds2 is very emotional at the moment just with all the excitment/visitors etc. But it sounds like he is making progress -asking for the potty seems a big step to me. I think if it was me I would keep going and if Christmas day is going to be very different to make an exception and let him have pullup that day?

SilentNiteForJess -I haven't any experience on cp. Hope someone more useful will come along with some advice. But it must be encouraging he can go for 3 hours without a wee - I don't think I could manage that! My ds2 had problems pulling up/down his pants/trousers and/or never enough notice to tell me so the no pants thing really helped him but I guess every situation/child is different. Good luck to you. Alex sounds a real sweetie.

blossomgoodwill Thu 23-Dec-04 21:19:43

Mum38 - Did I reply to you?? Sorry if I didn't I just don't what day of the week it is at the moment I will though promisex

mum38 Thu 23-Dec-04 21:23:07

Blossomgoodwill - Well I can't tell you either (about which day). Don't worry take your time -you have answered so much stuff for me already (thank you!!)

Hope you all have a good Christmas.

charlie95 Wed 29-Dec-04 21:59:33

well, the first 4 days went quite well considering. ds started to ask for the potty. had a few accidents when we didnt get there in time but what with xmas eve, day, boxing day and day after, we've been constantly on the go -things to do people to see - so put him in in pull up nappy pants still called them BIG boys pants for him but he did seem a bit cant think of word.....well, didnt want to go to the potty as often as he had been. so i constantly been saying to him 'dont forget what should you ask mummy' and he replies 'for the toilet' or the 'potty' to do a 'wee or poo' (with help prompting him in between obvious words!) tried again this a.m. in proper pants. kept reminding him and he was willing to sit on potty and try but didnt produce. then accident and had to go out so put him back in pull ups. perhaps he isnt fully ready - although hes better at it now than 6 mths ago, he will try on potty and does ask but not necessarily produce at that moment he asks. so am wondering whether to leave it a while longer and hope that in a few more mths time he will have more language and understanding of the need to 'go'. we'll have no.2 by then but theres 5 of us living here so one can see to baby while one sees to ds on potty etc....

anyone think that delaying it for few more mths will be ok?

he doesnt seem too confused between pull ups and proper pants and if anything hes mastered pulling up pants and trousers by himself now, in a week. which is progress for him. so he can still carry on doing that with pull ups. (although they are bulkier!)

sorry to ramble on just updating for those who read this.

charlie95 Fri 31-Dec-04 14:00:57

anyone ?


DingleAlltheWay Fri 31-Dec-04 14:38:39

Just had another quick glance at this to see how you are doing and for further advice for dd!
She has done a couple of wees on the potty almost every day over the hols, and is very proud of herself! She stands up & cheers herself, even if she hasn't done anything peers into the potty, sais "oh no" in her little twangy voice, signs more and sits down again!
It is not that consistent yet, and her actually telling me she wants to go is a long way off. But she does seem to have some control and definatley tries to go while she is sitting on the potty.
Am I trying too early, am I confusing matters?

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