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couldn't believe it.......

(6 Posts)
anniebear Tue 21-Dec-04 09:03:32

My Sister who is a few years older than me and doesn't work (has one 10yr old) actually offered to have Grace and Ellie for me for a few hours so I can get some things done.

My Sister is really good at having Grace for me when I have hospital appointments with Ellie, (there are not too many) but has never once said in the last 3 years "leave the girls with me and you go and have a break and she wouldn't have Grace overnight for us the other month (Grace sleeps through) so we could have a night away (Mum was going to have the sleepless night and willingly have Ellie for us)

So you can imagine I was surprised at her saying this to me! Shocked in fact!

But you know why she said it? The other week I had mentioned her and her Husband coming round one evening over Christmas and I will do a buffet for them. Then I went on to say, maybe not as I just won't be able to prepare it with the girls around.

Can't believe it, although a very nice offer, but it was so she and her dh could come round for the evening!!!!!!

Maybe I am being a bit harsh and should accept them few hours offered to me, but I would much rather they be offered so I could have a bit of time to myself rather than prepare a buffet for them!

Am I being a bit harsh do you think?!!

aloha Tue 21-Dec-04 09:17:47

Um, I think I would have accepted to set a precedent. She's probably afraid that she won't know what to 'do' with Ellie - fear of the unknown and all that - and this way she could maybe bond with them both more and be more willing to do it again. Also, maybe it's not so 'greedy' as it sounds. I might well offer to do the same thing, not because I'm a greedy pig who just wants to eat your food (!) but because I might think it would ease the stress on you. Just trying to look on the positive side here, but of course I don't actually know your sister.

DoesntChristmasDragOn Tue 21-Dec-04 09:18:15

It wouldn't bother me why, I'd just take the chance of some child free time Spend half an hour buying some ready made buffet food and go and enjoy yourself for the rest!

anniebear Tue 21-Dec-04 09:28:29

I know where you are coming from ,but she is not afraid of looking after Ellie, she loves the girls and is good with them. Also really good with Ellie. Ellie is ok to look after (for others) it is just like looking after a younger child than she is.

There is a lot more to it and I could write pages on comments said and help not offered over the last 3 years. The worst one not having Grace for us so we could have one night away cause "Grace wakes at 6am sometimes and she would have to get up early"!! She gets up 8.15ish in the week and has lie ins over the weekend so it would have just been one early morning out of a whole year! We didn't ask her to have Ellie, just Grace who is a good sleeper and NT!!

Unfortunatly she wouldn't have been thinking of easing the stress on me. She has never done that!!

She doesn't work and just plans her week full of things to do, like meeting friends, shopping etc which is all very nice but has never once in 3 years offered me some time to myself, then suddenly does so I can prepare her buffet food!!!!!

Quite laughable really!!!

DoesntChristmasDragOn Tue 21-Dec-04 09:35:37

If you turn her down now, she will never offer again.

mum38 Tue 21-Dec-04 10:01:03

Don't really know what to add but wanted to say hi. I think if it was me I would take her up on the offer. Without knowing your sister it does sound like she cares but is wrapped up in her own world. I have family like that and part of me wants to throw any (rare!) offers of help back in their faces!! But i don't because I need that break whatever the source!

I read your post about the nativity and was going to reply to that because I have sat at so many activities this Christmas watching my oldest & wishing I could see my middle child (with speech & language problems) alongside him. It must be even harder when you have twins.

I think Christmas is such an emotional time of year anyway. I hope you are able to get that break & don't spend it all baking!!

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