16.5 month old, delayed development.

[MumsyMum31]

Hi everyone,
This is a post I don’t want to write as I have a gut feeling but don’t want to face it. My beautiful sweet 16 month old hasn’t been meeting milestones. I am sick with worry as I suspect ASD, I have little understanding of Autism, but have suspected something hasn’t been right for some time. Here are my concerns:
She doesn’t respond to her name.
She doesn’t like being cuddled/ comforted.
She doesn’t say any words, babbles sometimes.
She makes little eye contact.
She doesn’t point or wave.
She doesn’t feed herself
She is hard to wean, doesn’t like new tastes/textures, gags and vomits.
She crawls, has only started pulling herself up to stand, but not walking yet.
She barely naps and some nights is wakened for the day at 3/4am.
She gets fixated on bibs fiddling with them taking them out of the basket and taking them everywhere, she has comforters but only wants bibs.
She plays with labels or turns her ride on over to spin the wheels, spins toys around.

My older child was a later Walker so I wasn’t concerned about that but, I have been questioning the other things, she has started putting her arms up to be lifted and presses buttons on her toys to hear the exact sound she wants. She doesn’t look at people who speak to her and ignores other children/people. The HV is coming out today after she asked me some questions on the phone and I am just worried sick. I have put it down to her being 4 weeks early and also when she was 3 months old I lost my mum and thought maybe she was picking up on my awful grief, she has also been in lockdown from 3 months old so has had such very limited contact with people and other children apart from her older sibling. Is the delayed development due to my grief and lockdown? I am just so upset. Any reassurance would be so helpful, although if she has ASD I want to get her the best chance ASAP but I haven’t the knowledge of protocols etc.
Many thanks. (Apologies for the long post)

[Choconuttolata]

Ok first thing, it is easy to say but try not to blame yourself. Nothing you have done has led to this.

My ds was born 5 weeks early and it was obvious that he was different to his older siblings even at age 1. He was diagnosed with autism age 4, but nursery and speech and language were all in agreement that he was on the spectrum from age 3. We tried to get support from HV and SALT earlier due to our concerns as he was non verbal until he was 3. He now speaks full sentences, goes to mainstream school and is a lovely boy who will need support but is growing and learning. A lot can change with early intervention.

I blamed myself terribly as I had awful PTSD after his birth and was just trying to survive, but ultimately DH and now we discover his older sister also have ASD, it is genetic and also due in part to his prematurity.

By seeking support early you are giving her the best care, there is a lot you can do even before diagnosis. The things that really helped us understand our son were reading about sensory processing disorder and also the Hanen more than words course (there is a book you can get). We used Picture Exchange Communication with the SALT to get Ds interested in speaking and communicating.

The HV will do an age appropriate assessment and if they agree that she is delayed developmentally for her age then they will refer to a Paediatrician for follow up and diagnosis. This can take a long time due to waiting lists, in the meantime they may refer to another local service if available or SALT. They will also likely ask you to get her hearing checked to rule out any issues that may be impacting on communication. One of the things that also helped us was putting Ds into nursery aged 3, as he got more support and input even though he was very distressed at first and unable to communicate with staff. It also has helped him learn from his peers and improve his social communication.

Happy to answer questions if you have any.

[MumsyMum31]

Thank you so much for your response. I will look into Hanen and I will ask the HV today about hearing and SALT. We have decided to put her into a nursery a couple of days a week to help her development and to be around other children her age. I was reluctant due to Covid but I feel it would be a massive help to her. I am so nervous about today and I want to be armed with some knowledge as I don’t want to be fobbed off. I know that she is probably still too young for an actual diagnosis, the thought of waiting a long time just feed my anxiety so much! Thanks so much again!

[Choconuttolata]

They often use the ASQ questionnaires:

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99659%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=2ahUKEwiy5Pz15frvAhXMgv0HHQ6ECwIQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw0EgtHIQzdCcwU9P0vnq3qY" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd%3FAssetID%3D99659%26type%3DFull%26servicetype%3DAttachment&ved=2ahUKEwiy5Pz15frvAhXMgv0HHQ6ECwIQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw0EgtHIQzdCcwU9P0vnq3qY

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=pages.uoregon.edu/asqstudy/asqse/pdf/18.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiq7uXD5_rvAhX-8bsIHWO5BCwQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw0ZgiNhMI7j3STXTFvHixqd" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=pages.uoregon.edu/asqstudy/asqse/pdf/18.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiq7uXD5_rvAhX-8bsIHWO5BCwQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw0ZgiNhMI7j3STXTFvHixqd

And the M-CHAT

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=cms.m-chat.org/LineagenMChat/media/Lineagen-M-Chat-Media/mchatDOTorg.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjN0P3w5_rvAhWEhf0HHUpiC3kQFjAKegQIBxAC&usg=AOvVaw1nO11kPs6fu8Xdg0ZXeaaE" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=cms.m-chat.org/LineagenMChat/media/Lineagen-M-Chat-Media/mchatDOTorg.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjN0P3w5_rvAhWEhf0HHUpiC3kQFjAKegQIBxAC&usg=AOvVaw1nO11kPs6fu8Xdg0ZXeaaE

You could have a look through them and use them to help you talk about your concerns x

[MumsyMum31]

Thanks Choconuttolata, I did see the MCHAT she scored quite high, but I will communicate that also. Thanks so much for the links.