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4 replies

Hadenough80 · 16/01/2021 11:12

I'm really needing help, my 6 year old with autism is out of control.
Obviously his whole world is upside down with school shutting and doing online learning.
He is constantly violent, he punches his siblings,bites them.
Has broken a bed,a door frame.
Winded his 4 year old sister so hard she couldn't breath for a few seconds which scared the shit out of me.
We get no help no respite now, he screams constantly, won't go even to the toilet alone.
We have tried talking to him about his actions.
Taking things of him, doing time out.
Giving him praise for when he is being good.
Pretty much everything, just don't know what else we can do to manage his behaviour.
I'm on my own all week and trying to juggle 4 childrens on line working in-between having to constantly watch his every move.
My children are hurting, I'm exhausted and feel like walking out (which I won't do) just feel like I'm drowning.

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BlankTimes · 16/01/2021 14:04

All behaviour is communication and his is telling you loud and clear he's floundering because he doesn't know what's happening. Have you considered his likely sensory overload too?

Can you structure his days so there's a rock solid routine for him?
Twinkl have great resources like now next and then charts you can print off for him and remind him so he can understand what he's supposed to be doing.

The NT parenting techniques you're using aren't often successful for autistic children as many can't see a situation from a different perspective than their own. Do look at Ross Greene's The Explosive Child and his website Lives in the Balance.

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Niffler75 · 16/01/2021 14:05

@Hadenough80 Hi, I am so sorry things sound really stressful.
Does your son have an EHC? Has he been offered a place at school as he would fall into the vulnerable category. I would be contacting your school and Local Authority on Monday.

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Hadenough80 · 16/01/2021 14:53

He is under the OT and we are seeing her monthly, we do have a now and next board as I have 3 other children (one almost 20) who also has ASD.
My 2 other children are not volient so this aspect is all new to me.
I know with children with asd normal NT things don't tend to work but have no more ideas and I can't let him hurt my others as he is really going to hurt one of them one day.

Regarding school he is only doing mornings online as when the day goes on he gets more agitated.
He hasn't got an EHCP.
But its hard having to do stuff with the others (I have one that is still in school as goes to a specialist school).
I feel like him going into school atm will be worse as he will be in a mixed class with people he don't know,with a teacher he doesn't know and in a classroom he isn't familiar with.

Just feel stuck really, he needs normality back but unfortunately that's isn't going to happen any time soon.

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Hadenough80 · 16/01/2021 16:26

@BlankTimes

All behaviour is communication and his is telling you loud and clear he's floundering because he doesn't know what's happening. Have you considered his likely sensory overload too?

Can you structure his days so there's a rock solid routine for him?
Twinkl have great resources like now next and then charts you can print off for him and remind him so he can understand what he's supposed to be doing.

The NT parenting techniques you're using aren't often successful for autistic children as many can't see a situation from a different perspective than their own. Do look at Ross Greene's The Explosive Child and his website Lives in the Balance.

I have just got the explosive child on my kindle, I will read it when there in bed.

Thank you to both of you, sometimes just writing things down and having someone to listen to who understands helps.
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