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how to approach this with teacher?

7 replies

bonkerz · 02/10/2007 16:47

Hi all, After appeal last week where head teacher stated things were ok at school so far DS has had 2 terrible days!
Today DS threw himself out of the door and pushed DD out of the way before throwing his bag onto the floor and screaming he hated everyone. Teacher appeared at door and stated DS had had a very bad day and was in a fowl mood.
I marched DS home and when he was clamer asked him what was wrong. He told me that some children had been calling him mardy bum, big baby, baby and stupid and he got angry but the teachers did not listen to him which made him angrier.
I rang the school and spoke to his teacher and tried to just point out that DS was worried about coming to school tomorrow because of the 'horrid children'. Problem is DS doesnt know the childrens names and said he hates school. DSs teacher seems to think its the other childrens way of dealing with Bens behaviour and said he will watch and listen more closely.

I now feel i have over reacted a little and shouldnt have rang the teacher BUT i also feel that DS has enough to deal with right now and could well do without this type of name calling. Teacher also said he didnt feel it was bulying.

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dustystar · 02/10/2007 16:51

Not bullying So how would he define name calling then?

I think the teacher needs to do some circle work time with the children about respecting other people and their differences. DS (as you know) has displayed very similar behaviour to your ds but his peers have been very accapting of him (although they are becoming less so now they are older). They may be scared if he has a meltdown but there is no excuse for name calling and the teacher should know that.

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bonkerz · 02/10/2007 16:59

Ds does stand out like a sore thiumb as he is in a yera 3/4 class so he is 7 (july baby) and the oldest in class is 9 which means DS looks VERY immature BUT surely this means the children KNOW that name calling is unacceptable?
It is unfortunately a viscious circle as DS gets called names so he gets angry BUT the teacher only sees DS getting angry and punishes him for that! Ds then gets more angry and frustrated beacuse techer wont listen about WHY ds is angry.
Feel so sad for DS tonight. Want to be tough with him for having a bad day but dont feel i can IYKWIM

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coppertop · 02/10/2007 17:16

That's awful!

My ds1 (also one of the youngest in a Yr3/4 class) had something similar happening to him recently. His teacher's attitude was very different. The teacher came up to me in the playground after school and explained that ds1 had been upset when one of the older boys (X) in the class had hit him and called him a crybaby. The teacher said that they would not tolerate X's behaviour and said "I'm not going to let be picked on." X was no longer allowed to sit near ds1 and would not be allowed to even stand near ds1 when the class lined up for anything. So far there have been no further incidents.

What's happening to your ds is bullying. You haven't overreacted at all IMHO. The teacher needs to put a stop to it now.

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bonkerz · 02/10/2007 17:20

i dotn want to appear the trouble making over anxious mummy! Ds only been at the school since sept and have alot going on at minute with appeal decision pending etc. School said at appeal meeting they are coping BUT if they cant see bullying then how can they be coping? Will see how tomorrow goes and see if teacher approaches me at end of day!

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magso · 02/10/2007 17:31

Hi Bonkerz, sorry your Ds has had a bad 2 days. Name calling is very hurtful especially to a child who is unhappy about his difference. It should be treated like any other unacceptable hurtful behaviour ie bullying. Good luck with the appeal.

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Flocci · 03/10/2007 18:26

It's easy for me to say this as it is not my problem, but I would not worry about appearing over-anxious / stressed etc. Sod it. That's your prerogative as a mum, and if you don't kick up a fuss then nobody else will make sure this is sorted. I really feel that every step of the wasy as a parent but especially one with a SN child is about kicking up a fuss and making people listen and realise you won't let yourself or your child be messed with.