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CONSTANT attention!

(7 Posts)
heavenlycara Tue 25-Sep-07 12:12:15

i have a 7yr old waiting for diagnosis of autism/aspergers sort of thing. does anyone elses child crave attention 24hrs a day from anyone. she approaches adults wherever she is and its quite embarrasing now shes getting a bit older and people are not sure what to do. is this an autistic behaviour?

needmorecoffee Tue 25-Sep-07 12:49:06

My son with aspergers was the opposite. Couldn't stand attention from anyone. But my eldest (OCD) sought attention from everyone all the time. A needy black hole.
Some kids are like that regardless of any dx.
Is he an only?

heavenlycara Tue 25-Sep-07 12:54:38

shes an only child but ive made a concious effort to not constsntly give her attention and she has plenty of company around but its adults she zooms in on and its like its compulsive/obsesive. shes not great at socialising appropriately with kids but i cant seem to stop this behaviour!

needmorecoffee Tue 25-Sep-07 18:30:43

How does she get on in school? Does she have friends? Maybe she finds children her own age immature.
I'm just guessing here. Attention seeking type behaviour can have so many causes or even none. What does she say about who she prefers to play with?
My eldest was very similar and even now, at 15, prefers adults (any adult except me) and is a bit of a sheep with what any adult says (must be true if a grown up not mum says it). Its like a neediness.
She doesn't have any dx but was OCD for years (dirt, handwashing, mould, facial features, endless list)

heavenlycara Tue 25-Sep-07 19:46:06

she gets on with younger kids and olderkids but only certain ones that she trusts and even at that, she only plays with them in short bursts and then its back to the adults.up the town or walking in streets is a nightmare. she shouts hello to complete strangers across the road and theres no sign of it lessening as shes getting older. she continues to shout hello until they acknoledge her with hello! she cant grasp the whole 'stranger' buiseness thing and i dont like the idea of a strong punishment for something she cant control.

Blossomhill Tue 25-Sep-07 20:20:55

Yes my dd is like this. She has adhd/aspergers. I am trying to get her to realise what is and isn't appropraite behaviour and have become quite good at knowing beforehand to step in before she approaches people. Sometimes I can just shake my head or put my finger over my mouth and pull her towards me and she knows.

magso Wed 26-Sep-07 11:40:39

My son is also like this.(DS is 7 Asd/adhd/mld) I think it is because he is only able to see things from his point of view, combined with his inability to think before acting on his impuses. He sees all adults (and most children)as there for him. Like Blossomhill, I remind him of prearranged rules before social situations and I also use hand signals to signal when he should wait (hand up), keep quiet ( shh sign), or ask me instead. Occasionally I still resort to a gentle hand on the shoulder when I would otherwise not get through! It can be difficult with other children also especially if he tries to mononpolise the other childs parents attention!
I have found out the hard way that the general wisdom (for NT kids) of giving an attention needing child extra attention was not the answer in our case (he expected constant attention)! I found limiting one on one attention worked better ie rather than giving immediate attention on tap, I give a specific time when I will help/play/fix etc. This is usually quite soon (eg when I've finished chopping the carrots ). We also have specific special times for one on one play each day with end time prespecified. He has got much better but can be very attention seeking and extra impatient afterschool!

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