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do your dc's do "nasty"??

(12 Posts)
2shoes Mon 24-Sep-07 12:56:28

I was thinking about this (yes because of other thread)
DD would not be "nasty" to anyone. she will have a laugh and a joke but not to hurt,
I also don't think she would get it if some one was taking the "piss" out of her.
It made me wonder if others felt like this.
And when I say "nasty" i don't mean the stuff they can't help..(dd will hit/kick you not meaning to as she can't controll her limbs) I mean deliberate stuff.

twocutedarlings Mon 24-Sep-07 14:41:22

Same here 2 shoes my DD is the same, never gets it if someone make fun of her, and wouldnt harm a fly. tbh i think my DD would really benefit if she could be nasty, lol wink

Blossomhill Mon 24-Sep-07 14:52:06

Dd isn't nasty no but if someone picked on her she would stick up for herself ie if someone hit her but I doubt she would know if someone was taking the piss no.

PersonalClown Mon 24-Sep-07 14:54:24

No. Ds is pleasant to the point of passive.
He's only 5 but I've seen other kids take advantage of him because he just wants to join in.
I don't think he even understands 'nasty'.

gess Mon 24-Sep-07 15:04:43

Nope ds1 never does nasty. He pinches people that he knows will give funny reactions, but not in a spiteful way.
I think he does sometimes know when other kids are being mean/taking the piss, although its very hard to tell. In a lucid together moment then yes I think he would know. He couldn't do anything about it though.

KarenThirl Mon 24-Sep-07 17:46:55

Yes, J (nearly 9, AS) can be pretty horrible. There's his reactions to sensory over-stimulation, which usually means he loses self control and anger takes over with some horrible consequences. He's put one child in hospital with a blow to the kidney, but it's not accidental he really means to hurt. Eg playing Star Wars, he has to try to chop your hand off just like Anakin's.

He seriously over-reacts to teasing too, and used to lash out every time. He's learning how to maintain control now, hasn't done that this term (but then he's in a different school), though he has yelled and shouted abuse on a couple of occasions.

Then there's his attempts to challenge boundaries. He's often rude and deliberately offensive, will argue well-established rules in order to have control of a situation. I could go on. He can be a bit of a shit really but then he can be really lovely too.

How much of that is AS and how much is deliberate nastiness? How much leeway do we give our kids because of their disabilities? Now THAT'S a whole other thread!

onlyjoking9329 Mon 24-Sep-07 21:41:51

none of our three do nasty (grumpy,yes) they wouldn't pick up very easily on anyone being nasty to them.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands Mon 24-Sep-07 21:44:10

God yes! hmm [gingerly touches bruised arm]

twoisplenty Mon 24-Sep-07 22:55:16

Ds does hit out, and sometimes tries to bite. It's always directed at immediate family though, and it's because he cant express himself through speech, so goes for the quick response. But I don't think he really means to be nasty, I think it's a kind of reflex action - once he's hit out, he looks mortified and signs "sorry" a lot.

He wouldn't hurt anyone else, and school wouldn't believe his temper at home.

So not nasty really, and is incredibly caring and loving to his friends at school.

luckylady74 Mon 24-Sep-07 23:23:37

as a response to not having his demands met my ds (as 5yrs) will do things he knows will provoke a negative response - hit younger brother (not sister as she hits back) or knock things over - he will tell me he's doing these things as he's doing them, so it's hardly a subtle cry for attention!
he has, if really stressed about something such as not being allowed to visit the toilet( just to hang out there) for the 20th time, hit out at passers by on the street - is this nasty? don't know really - perfectly normal behaviour pattern for an nt child just exagerated -i would have thought - if very irritating.
he doesn't get other kids making fun of things he says - i think it's not being able to read their faces - he understands kids saying ' i don't like you', but thankfully that hasn't happened much yet.
i think this sounds quite calm for me, but it's taken me along time to be even half way understanding of some of my ds1's most negative behaviour. he's being very cuddly at the moment and that helps just about everything.

macwoozy Wed 26-Sep-07 09:23:00

My ds can be aggressive, but I wouldn't consider his behaviour as being nasty, he is just so impulsive that when he's angry he lashes out, he doesn't consider at the time that by doing so he's going to hurt someone, he just reacts. He's not capable of being manipulative neither and would never intentionally be cruel to anyone, it's not in his nature. That's not to say he doesn't appear to be nasty, god the amount of times he tells it how it is, whether that hurts or offends anyone is not of interest to him.

sphil Wed 26-Sep-07 10:40:04

No - DS2 is another passive type. He will occasionally get angry and try to grab my face if I tell him he can't have something he wants, but that's about it. He once swiped another child for taking his teddy bear but tbh I was quite pleased blush. I wish he would show a bit more anger sometimes - normal and natural imo!

We're lucky in that no-one has, to my knowledge, been nasty to him yet. Not sure how he'd react - my guess is he wouldn't, but you never know...

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