Talk

Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

DENIAL

(9 Posts)
deeeja Sun 23-Sep-07 15:13:13

The title says it all really!
Yesterday I had a day of denial! I thought I may be imagining it, and my ds is just a little different and I am giving him this label of autism.
Well yesterday he ran from wall to wall in the lounge, shook his head until I thought he was about to pass out, stiffened his body and went up on his toes so much so that it looked as if he would take off. The only things he said all day were '5 4 3 2 1 blastoff', repetitively. He wouldn't leave the lounge, and then screamed and tried to tear his skin off because he had spilt milk on himself. I had to man-handle him into the buggy, and he screamed for approx. half an hour until being outside distracted him.
Well that was a relief!
I came home and then he lay on the floor trying to look into the back of his head, and then sat in a corner looking at the wall 'playing' with his toy mobile phone.
Last night he was awake for three hours and wanted to sit on my lap with a bottle of milk, he refuses to use a cup for milk.
My poor baby! I cried buckets for him! sad
I even had an irrational moment, when I felt jealous of my next door neighbour because they have a boy with down's syndromeblush, (yes I know this is stupid and irrational) because at least they know from birth and can prepare to help him, I don't have a clue what I am doing...I apologise to all parents with children who have downs syndrome, I don't think downs syndrome is
an easy diagnosis, I was just feeling extremely irrational!
I though I could cope with this, but I obviously can't.
I am just beginning to realise what autism could mean for my ds, and how hard it could be for him. I went to my local library and asked for info about support groups,etc, to which the reply was' we don't know about that sort of thing', with looks of disapproval. I felt like a leper from last century! She made me feel embarrased, I bet she thought I don't know how to bring my children up properly!angry
SIGH!
Today, I am trying to get my head round the fact that this is real, that my ds is autistic, and I have to get over this and start helping him.
Sorry about that, I had to tell somoeone how I am feeling! Well done for reading this far, I guess I should just et on withit, and stop being such a blimp!

deeeja Sun 23-Sep-07 15:15:11

OOOOOOOOOOOOOPS! Sorry for all the spelling mistakes!

pagwatch Sun 23-Sep-07 15:19:49

deeja
I could present you with a diary extract from about eight years ago that said exactly the same thing as you have written.Its not about denial it is grief and shock. but it does get better.
Try the NAS rather than the library and google autism.

dustystar Sun 23-Sep-07 15:21:22

sad poor you and poor ds {{{hugs}}}

I think all of us with a child who has SN has felt like this. Come and rant on here any timesmile I don't know what i would have done without MN.

Peachy Sun 23-Sep-07 15:23:14

Oh poor you!

FWIW it must be in the water..... dh went off on one at DS1 for soemthing related to his asd (also something that could potentially ahrm his btrothers- he ahs a potion obsession and we found a stash of mouldy potions he had amde and was trying to feed his brothers). had to ahev a long chat with dh and asked him if he really had come to terms with ds1's ASd, he admitted he hadn't really, and has no real idea of what goes on iseide his haed... I don't much either, but I can at elast comperhend that I dont egt it, iyswim! tried to discuss DS3, dh denied th ASD there9 realises he ahs a very low IQ and LD, but not the ASD- I tried to explain that the regression was hugely ASD, but it doesn't go in....)


I ahev days too, actually I ahd LOADS at first and had a compelte collapse after we'd ahd the dx2 months,s creamnga nd yelling at an old friend of dh who knew but refused to accept it. After that I started tor ebuild my life but its been ahrd, esp. as ds1 has a very high IQ and can cover things for small amounts of time.

Sympathies, ahte to say it but I think days like this are part of the deal, tbh. bastard, ian't it?

Dh si up now with ds1 trying to find a way to teach him to sue lego instructions- we figured that might help dh get his head abit around how ds1's mind works

Peachy Sun 23-Sep-07 15:25:03

And if you think your post had mistakes!! [oops] sorry- in my defence I have on e hnd on pc, other stopping ds3 unplugging pc lol

needmorecoffee Sun 23-Sep-07 16:08:13

Hey Peachy, my ds1 had a potion obsession too bteween about 7 and 9. We'd find all sorts of disgusting things. Luckily it wore off and became a bits of dead animal obsession and bits of rubbish that he was going to make into a robot.
Now he's 14 its different again.
When ds was younger and a handful I would look at other disabilities and think I'd rather have that. Still do it now I have dd2 with severeCP and epilepsy. Including looking at ds1 and thinking, well, at least you can walk and talk, wipe your own bum and feed yourself.
Deeeja - that library person sounds like <insert rude word>. Maybe we should all come round and visit it. At 5 ds1 would take all the books off the shelves and stack them plus say 'ssshhhh' if anyone even breathed, punctuated by 'home home home home home home home'. Trips out were such fun. People would stare and tut so I would say he was brain damaged rather than try and explain autism/aspergers. Shut people up anyhow.
But his behaviour has improved a huge amount and if you met him now you'd think he was 'normal'. Unless you actualy came into the house and he'd vanish cos he can't stand strangers or heard him tapping....

Peachy Sun 23-Sep-07 16:16:11

hA! We ahve the rubbish too- Dh is gutting his rooma s we speak....... I know what triggreed it, Georges marvellous medicine at school <,sigh>>

Kinda know what you eman about looking at others- ds3 cant talk much, can walk but cant tilet etc. have to say i rpefer that to attempted poisonings and stranglings!! DS1 is a aprticuar example though, has especial issues that are not standard HFA, and is beinga ssessed for mroe stuff atm.

gess Mon 24-Sep-07 17:04:13

The early days are awful as you don't know where you're heading. I think in the early days I spent so much time & energy dreaming about speech as well, rather than going back to basics and working on communication (mind you I still dream about speech ). Do check out the NAS- it's much easier if you have RL person in the same situation nearby.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now