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OK so what do I say to DS1 7 & NT about ds2

(4 Posts)
mymatemax Sun 23-Sep-07 09:53:32

I've just told ds1 off,
He was reading a comic & laughing. When I asked what was so funny there was a sentence about a spastic colon.
"Whats funny about a colon" I asked
"No not colon, spastic is funny" he said.
"Why is that funny" I ask
"It's what we say at school, I know a song about spastic" he said
So then I give him a lecture about name calling & not using words if he doesn't understand the meaning. I was mid lecture when ds2 started shouting to come downstairs so I went to help him down & the moment was lost.

So now I don't know what to say about ds2, he has spastic CP. ds1 knows about his OCD/possibleASD mainly because of children at his school with Autism & ds1 remarked how like ds2 they behave & asked is ds2 Autistic.

I'm just not sure what I need to say to him without creating a big deal about it & creating more fascination with the word IYKWIM.

tuftyclub Sun 23-Sep-07 17:48:50

Last week I told my dd that her brother had spatic diplegia and that was his form of CP, she (12) said no you are wrong mam my teacher said that CP is not called spastic any more so he can't have spastic diplegia, hmm. She got it after a minute or two. The thing is if you explain it right and If your 7 yr old is astute enough to connect the traits your ds2 had to his class mates, then I would lay your cards on the table and tell him the WHOLE truth. He will understand kids do.

Good luck.

mymatemax Mon 24-Sep-07 17:51:05

Thanks tuftyclub, I think he's smart enough to understand but also he likes to play the clown a bit, he's going through that stage when they think all body parts are funny - and it seems the ruder the better.
DS2 has just started at the same school & I don't want ds1 to show off in front of his mates, at the moment he just thinks spastic is funny word wrong I know but he doesn't associate it with his brothers disability, splints etc.
Bloody hell kids are cruel aren't they.

I think I need to start educating him a little!

tuftyclub Tue 25-Sep-07 00:12:11

I understand where you are coming from, we have a thing in our house that what goes on in our house stays there. (DH's dad was a bastard in the past, and so dh has a horror of people knowing his business) Can you not tell ds1 that this is how it is with ds2, and every one is different and as you are sure that he has no desire for his brother to be upset by something he can't help, just as ds1 would not like it if ds2 picked up on his failings (ie. nose picking etc.,) The flip side is his friends might call people a spastic but your ds1 should be the bigger person and just never use the word. There fore the onus is on him protecting his brother by not telling his 'secret' so to speak. But, I would stress to your ds1 that while it is not nice to see people bully others, his job is to be a little boy who respects his brother but he is not his FATHER. DD tried to be everything to ds whilst they were at school together, and it made for dd loosing friends as she wanted to only play with ds.

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