Concerns about 15month old

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi everyone

I have some concerns regarding my 15 month old.

He doesn’t point, wave or clap and he has no words apart from mama and dada which he says anytime so don’t think they relate to me or his dad. He also makes other babbling noises.

He doesn’t seem to have any understanding to follow instructions eg give mummy the ball, where’s your nose? Where’s daddy? Etc.

I’m also concerned with the way that he plays, in some aspects it seems fine he likes to chase us/ be chased, likes peekaboo, likes books and throwing balls, cuddling his teddy, however a lot of the time he plays the same way by pushing objects along the floor, sometimes lying down at the same time.

He pushes baby wipes, tv remotes, toy car, moisturiser anything really along the floor for long periods of time.

I’m trying to find more information about how he is playing online so I could look at ways to get involved/ help him in anyway that I can.

Does anyone have any idea why he is doing this or any sort of sensory toys or activities I could do with him to help?

I’m waiting on a call from my HV on Wednesday and will discuss my concerns, I just want to try help him in anyway that I can, thanks x

[KrakowDawn]

Have you had his hearing and eyesight checked? Has he had anybear infections at all?
Don't panic yourself, 15 months isn't too old to be talking- my eldest didn't speak at all, not a single word, until 19mo, she didn't even babble. She never stopped once she'd started.
The lying down on the floor thing- is it a hard floor, rather than carpet? When my DS had an ear infection, he would never cry, just lie on the floor to play, because the floor was cooling, and his ear and cheek were inflamed. It was v odd, but it became his first sign or ear infection.
Try not to worry- hopefully your HV can look at what is going on with him.

[KrakowDawn]

Any bear infections! Ear I mean- fat fingers sorry!

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi KrakowDawn,

Thanks for your reply.

Yes it’s a hard floor and he has had ear infections in the past. The floor play has been going on since around 9 months :( it has me so worried as he just constantly pushes things around in his own wee world.

He had his checks done when he was born but nothing since then.

HV should be calling me back on Wednesday and I will discuss everything with her, I just feel like something isn’t right.

Just want to help him in anyway that I can and I’m worrying he’s got some sensory need that isn’t being met which is why he’s pushing things around :( x

[Firstimemam]

Hello, I have a 15 months old DS, he does the things your DS does not but he only started pointing last month, and with pointing, the understanding of language and the words came all at once. In terms of play, they sound very similar. It's hard not to worry but it may just take him that little bit of extra time? Sending hugs xx

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi Firstimemam

Thanks for replying.

It’s so hard not worrying, I feel like I’m constantly watching him to see if he will start to point or wave. It’s stressing me out because I know he should be pointing by 18 months.

Does your little boy push things around on the floor?

I know apart of me thinks he’s just going at his own pace but I just can’t shake this feeling that something isn’t quite right xx

[Firstimemam]

He does push around his cars and he likes pushing objects in general, when we are outside and he's not in the buggy, he wants to push the buggy.

[PaolaNeri]

Hi there, I am sorry you are feeling this way.

As a parent of 3 sen children, I totally understand your worry and concerns. It is very scary and isolating to feel something is not right with your child's development. I too had a gut feeling with my first son and was dismissed constantly until finally my GP listened and recognised something was not right.

Try writing brief notes of everything you are concerned about and try and keep a diary over the next week of any concerns or unusual behaviours displayed. Think of things like how he interacts socially with you and others, how he gets your attention and communicates with you. You say he lacks understanding, how does he respond when you ask? Does he try and engage with you in anyway?

Try sitting with him and singing songs like "wheels on the bus" and "If you are happy and you know it clap.." etc. with the motions and noting how he engages and what he enjoys or doesn't enjoy. Does he make some eye contact with you, anticipate what will come next, copy any of the actions etc?

When pushing the objects around the floor, does he lay down so he can see them at specific angles while he does it? How long does he engage in these activities for and what does he do if you interrupt him?

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi Paola

Thanks for your reply.

I’ve started to take videos of him and written a list of things that concerns me.

He does make good eye contact however when I sing wheels on the bus or clap ur hands he just looks at me then moves on to something else! On a few occasions he has started dancing but still no attempt to clap etc.

He lies down and just watches them move up and down and a lot of time pushes the object with his thumb?? If I interrupt him by taking whatever it is that he’s pushing away then he will throw a temper however if I sit down and play with one of his other toys say a book he will stop what he’s doing most of the time and come over to see what I’m doing and join in eg turn the books pages or lift the flaps or throw his balls if that’s what I’m doing.

He has zero words, can’t clap wave or point and if I say where’s daddy or pass mummy the ball he just looks at me blankly.

He’s also always been extremely demanding and will follow me crying if I leave him and throw his arms up or hold on to my legs to be lifted up. I always end up picking him up because he gets so upset it’s like his emotions are always extreme x

[PaolaNeri]

Hey Toffee,

Sounds like a good start. Keeping records and notes and dating them is invaluable because you just don't remember it all. Aside from being a great resource if you need to attend appointments that require developmental history, it is also a good way of looking back and seeing what progress or changes have taken place.

It is positive that he is engaging in some play with you. My son was very similar, no understanding of instruction, liked to be picked up and held. I used to give a running commentary to my son, but keep it really simple to help with language and vocab. i.e. if you pick up a ball to play, hold the ball for him to see and repeat what it is and what you are doing with it, then asking him to throw/catch/pass it etc. I tell people that is why I talk so much now!

What did your Health Visitor say? A really good website to look at is The National Autistic Society. I know it can be so stressful worrying over development and almost wishing time on to see what is going to happen in the next 6 months etc. If your Health Visitor is listening to you and agrees to refer him, you are doing the best thing for both of you. The worrying and wondering is draining and can easily suck the joy from your experience as a mum, not to mention how emotionally draining it is for you. Remember to take some time for you.

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi Paola

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me again, honestly it helps so much talking to someone who has went through this.

What age was your little boy diagnosed and how is he getting on?

It’s so hard not to worry about the future and to not compare him to his cousins at a similar age he just seems so far behind.

My HV agreed that he sounds delayed, I already knew that but it broke my heart when she said. She’s started the process of referral but says she has no idea how long it will take because of the coronavirus.

I’ve contacted a charity called blue sky and have booked an assessment which they will do via video call on Wednesday. I don’t know if that’s the right thing but I just want to get things moving as fast as possible. I’ve also ordered a couple of books so hoping they can give me ideas on how to help his development.

Thanks for the tips I will try and keep things simple and see if he will engage with me more.

Thanks again xx

[Iwishicouldhelp]

I have absolutely no experience with Austism but just wanted to mention (as I've googled and not come across another child or any info) regarding the pushing things across the floor. My DD 13 months does the same thing, with things such as wipes, books, square toys etc and she pushes them across the floor for ages. I too was worried it indicated something wrong, she often lays down on the floor to watch TV sideways too. I could have written exactly what you have said about the emotions too, my DD goes from 0-60 in less than a second and is very clingy to me.
However she claps, waves, points with her whole hand and has a few words already which i know doesnt rule out autism but I'm not too worried at the moment.
I hope you find the answers you need. I think every parent can admit to worrying their child might be autistic. My DS used to spin the wheels on cars for hours at a time when he was between 1-3 in age which had me worried sick but he has no SN.

[PaolaNeri]

No worries Toffee. Having lived in a world of SEN for a long time, I meet all kinds of parental reactions from denial to falling apart and everything in between, it is such an emotive experience.

My eldest is in his early 20's now, then I had a very big gap and have 2 younger ones 13 and 10. My experience has been different with all of them.

My eldest was about a year old, when I noticed he didn't really engage socially with everyone at a small birthday party. I had a feeling before this that something just wasn't right. The year that followed, I felt like he was withdrawing and becoming more distant from me. He had no speech, didn't follow my point or gaze, no social referencing, couldn't follow any instructions. He liked to be held and be close to me (we co slept for a long time) and did engage with physical play like rough and tumble and tickling with those very close to him. Others started to notice he was different, he didn't call us mum or dad, he didn't really play alongside or engage with other children. I spent all my time speaking to him, pointing out, naming things, taking him to places. It felt like I was hanging on to him for dear life, to stop him drifting further away. The Health Visitors were not listening to me and to cut a long story short I went to the GP armed with pages of notes of concerns. This was just as the internet was emerging so I didn't have access to any online material. He was referred to the local hospital paediatrician and monitored, this led him into the speech and language nursery, but I was very shocked to find out he didn't have a diagnosis of asd, just global developmental delay (ridiculous bloody label) until he moved to another borough and into a special school and they told me. We swiftly got a formal diagnosis (much longer for CAHMS now).

To cut a very long story short, I use him as my example when speaking with parents who like you are wondering what on earth the future now means. He went to a selection of different school environments, from speech and language nursery, to mainstream with ASD units then onto a specialist school and time at a post 16 Section 41 (indepedant) school. So we really did experience every setting! He continued slowly to make progress, speech came and he was taught appropriate social behaviours and life skills. He has now developed as fully as he is going to be and whilst he does have a severe receptive speech and language disorder, he can speak with you and make himself understood and join in a conversation. His understanding is poor, he does have a very low IQ, but he has a well paid part time job (through a charity) helping out looking after sports grounds! He is now talking about wanting to live in supported living.

If I was to tell you when he was 3 years old, I was in such a dark place that I had thoughts that if both our lives were taken together, we would be in a better place together. But, it got better and I can honestly tell you that if only I had known how things were going to be. I won't lie, it has been hard, but everyone who knows him and his journey has said how well he has done and how lovely he is.

My 2nd son, I knew at 8 months something socially was not right. Totally different , he spoke well, understood instructions, had fab vocab, none of the stimming or odd behaviours. With him though, it was kind of the reverse, as he got older more started to become obvious. So fast forward to now, he has ADHD as well as asd which really is a bugger as it often causes more issues that the asd! He is at a mainstream with specialist asd unit, and is on course to do exams. His primary school were rubbish and I applied for his diagnosis and EHCP which he got in Year 5, after a very long wait with CAHMS and on my part a huge amount of pestering and chasing.

I would say it is never to early to speak to someone, or be assessed, to be given suggestions and strategies to help him with his development is always going to be valuable. Yes too to reading material, if he is on the spectrum, understanding that his brain is wired differently so he thinks differently, will help you understand how to help him make sense of his world.

I hope everything goes well on Wednesday, do let us know how you get on. Sorry this has been such a long post, I guess I just wanted you to know that as emotional as I know you are feeling now, it does get better. I have been doing this a long time and am about to have my 3rd assessed, they are all different and you do have to battle, but it wont all be bad days.

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi everyone

Again thanks for your replies.

Iwish- yes it’s so hard to find anything online regarding the pushing of objects!! That’s great that your daughter is pointing waving and clapping! My son unfortunately still isn’t doing that at 15 months. Totally know what you mean about worrying it’s so easy to get carried away especially with google!!

Paola- thanks so much for such a detailed reply! I’m sorry you weren’t taken seriously at first I think many people seem to experience that same problem!

So happy for you and your son and how well he is doing, you must be so proud of him and also yourself for how much you have helped him.

Also I’m glad your second son seems to be doing well too, I can’t imagine how hard it would of been going through this two time’s!

Your reply has definitely helped me to not look too bleakly at the future and what it might hold (even though it is very hard not to worry).

We had a 2 hour assessment today with blue sky autism which is a charity, the doctor advised she believes he has a social and communication delay.

Blue Sky don’t provide an official diagnosis but are very open and in our case I was advised that if my son was assessed in a clinical setting where they do early interventions eg America that he would be classed as high functioning autism. I don’t really know what this means for my son as he is so young and I know so much can change.

We also discussed his sleep issues with waking frequently and always crying when waking, his snoring and his two ear infections within the space of 2 months and she has advised that I ask for a referral to ENT (ear nose and throat) either via my HV or GP.

She said he is developmentally on track and in some areas ahead with his gross motor and fine motor skills which was nice to hear.

In around a weeks time we should have a report outlining where we can help our son and how to play/ engage with him to help him.

We will still need to wait for our NHS referral but how long that will take and what age my son will be at that point is so unclear.

X

[PaolaNeri]

I think a referral is certainly not a bad idea for his ear infections.
Interestingly, both my boys had ear infections, my first had many along with tonsillitis on a very frequent basis. I came across many parents who also the report same. These did stop by the time he was about 6 years.

Certainly the Blue Sky report will be useful, along with your own note keeping when it comes to your son being seen. Have a look at the Local Offer for your borough, this will give you lots of local links for services and support that you will find really useful for both your son and yourself.

I find talking to other parents/carers invaluable, even now all these years later, there is always something new to learn. Look into what local groups you can join; although I appreciate the Covid situation will affect this, there are other ways you will be able to access support. Also look at the National Autistic Society, they too have a huge amount of information that will be of use.

Remember to look after yourself

[Authentic2020]

Hi Toffeecoffeee

I have similar concerns about my 15 month old son.

It's been 2 months since Blu sky assessment, how is your son doing?
How did it go with ENT appointment?

Thanks to you I learned about Blue Sky, I contacted them and I would like to go ahead with online assessment.

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi Authentic

We received our report and during the assessment we were given some ideas about how to help my son communicate more with us. Some of the ideas we have put into place eg putting his favourite toys in plastic clear containers so that if he wants to play with something he has to try and request it in some way.

He reaches for things that he wants a lot more now and makes noises and looks at us so this has improved. He still doesn’t point but does point with his whole hand for things he wants and looks to me.

He has learned new skills as well by himself such as clapping, drinking from his cup by himself and feeding himself with a spoon. All of these things I was convinced he wouldn’t do and he has and I’m so proud of him. He also enjoys row the boat and will initiate games with us more eg coming into the kitchen looking at me smiling then running away, this is when he wants me to chase him!

Have u read Hanen More Than Words? It’s very good at determining what level of communication your baby is at and ideas and activities on how to bring them on.

Since the assessment I haven’t booked any sessions with Blue Sky as I have focused more on getting his referals through for the NHS.

So far we have a referral for audiology which is booked for next week, we have been referred for ENT but I don’t know how long that will take to come through. I have also spoken to speech and language and they have agreed to refer him for their services but again wait time’s for NHS can be long.

I have also contacted a private speech and language therapist who previously worked within the NHS and she offers two programmes specifically for children with suspected ASD which is Hanen More Than Words (the book I mentioned above) and Parent Mediated Communication Therapy.

We are due to start private speech and language next week with this therapist and I’m hoping it will help improve my sons communication.

I may look at sessions with Blue Sky in the future but for now I feel like the right path to take is speech and language as this will be the type of support provided by the NHS also.

Where are you based and what are your concerns about you me baby boy? It’s really overwhelming sometimes I hope your doing ok x

[Authentic2020]

Thank you for your detailed reply @Toffeecoffeee

I am not too bad, thanks. I went through a few rough days and couldn't sleep googling obsessively about early signs of autism. I am much more relaxed now.

I posted a thread about my son's signs here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3962888-Signs-of-autism-15-month-old

It sounds like your son is doing really well, it's such a relief and joy when you see them progressing.
I also feel like my son has changed a lot since I posted here 3 weeks ago.
He is much more interactive, more attentive when we talk to him and appears to understand more. He started copying some of our movements and gestures.

He still can't point and wave, no words so far.

It sounds like you're doing a lot about your son!
I was referred to a paediatrician by the GP, only to be told a week ago that our referral was transferred to a community doctor(?). I would like to ask for hearing test referral and I don't want to wait for too long, we might need to do it privately. We are based in Glasgow.

I decided not to go ahead with an assessment from Blue Sky Autism for several reasons.

"I was advised that if my son was assessed in a clinical setting where they do early interventions eg America that he would be classed as high functioning autism. I don’t really know what this means for my son as he is so young and I know so much can change."

I agree with you, it's difficult to understand what this means for your son ( unless they gave you more explanation).
Did they use word "classed"?

Blue Sky contacted me yesterday asking if we would be interested to take part in their research on the efficacy of their new early therapy model (7 free sessions online). I and my partner haven't decided yet if we want to take part.

I ordered 'More than words' book from Winslow 2 weeks ago but due to stock shortages I haven't received it yet, it should arrive soon.

[BAST1]

@Toffeecoffeee

Hi Authentic

We received our report and during the assessment we were given some ideas about how to help my son communicate more with us. Some of the ideas we have put into place eg putting his favourite toys in plastic clear containers so that if he wants to play with something he has to try and request it in some way.

He reaches for things that he wants a lot more now and makes noises and looks at us so this has improved. He still doesn’t point but does point with his whole hand for things he wants and looks to me.

He has learned new skills as well by himself such as clapping, drinking from his cup by himself and feeding himself with a spoon. All of these things I was convinced he wouldn’t do and he has and I’m so proud of him. He also enjoys row the boat and will initiate games with us more eg coming into the kitchen looking at me smiling then running away, this is when he wants me to chase him!

Have u read Hanen More Than Words? It’s very good at determining what level of communication your baby is at and ideas and activities on how to bring them on.

Since the assessment I haven’t booked any sessions with Blue Sky as I have focused more on getting his referals through for the NHS.

So far we have a referral for audiology which is booked for next week, we have been referred for ENT but I don’t know how long that will take to come through. I have also spoken to speech and language and they have agreed to refer him for their services but again wait time’s for NHS can be long.

I have also contacted a private speech and language therapist who previously worked within the NHS and she offers two programmes specifically for children with suspected ASD which is Hanen More Than Words (the book I mentioned above) and Parent Mediated Communication Therapy.

We are due to start private speech and language next week with this therapist and I’m hoping it will help improve my sons communication.

I may look at sessions with Blue Sky in the future but for now I feel like the right path to take is speech and language as this will be the type of support provided by the NHS also.

Where are you based and what are your concerns about you me baby boy? It’s really overwhelming sometimes I hope your doing ok x

@Toffeecoffeee hi there, I'm having exact same issues with my 15 month old boy. As you can see I'm up at 6am googling and reading posts I'm so worried. We have a referral for speech and language but I've been told a very long wait too. Can I have the details for your private speech therapist and has it helped your son? Thank you

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi Authentic & Bast

Authentic - I can’t remember the words exactly but it was during our telephone call I was advised that that if we were in a clinical setting and he was being assessed then they would say high functioning autism.

Have u had your baby’s hearing checked yet? We had an appointment at the Royal children’s hospital (we are also based in Glasgow) and it came back all great.

How is your baby now? My little boy seems to have a couple of words and his understanding has improved but there’s still no pointing and no waving!

He will point to pictures in a book for eg point to a cat and then look at me and I’ll say Cat but I don’t know if that counts because he’s never pointed to anything other than if it’s in a book?

Bast- I’m so sorry your worried I know exactly how you feel it’s just exhausting. Are you based in Glasgow? I’ll pm you the lady’s name, to be honest we have only done 2 sessions so far so I couldn’t really say if it’s helped or not I think I’ll need to give it more time x

[Authentic2020]

Hi Toffeecofeee

Sounds like your son is doing well, it's such a joy to see their progress.

My son is 16 months old now and it's amazing how much he has changed.
He is very interactive and sociable, I am not worried so much about autism anymore.
I feel a bit silly actually, I was trying to diagnose my son's "abnormal" development based on a google search!
The only worry I have now is that my son still doesn't say any words, can't point and wave. He can understand some commands and words but I feel it's all quite limited (?)

I decided not to go ahead with Bluesky Autism charity, I was told that they can be a bit "opinionated" in their assessments.

I spoke to the speech therapist from another (recommended) charity Grow Communication. He has a speech and language delay, it may be or it may not be anything serious but we booked an initial appointment for 25th Sept and we would like to start the therapy. I was told he is still very young but it's better to be proactive.

I got a referral from the GP for the hearing test but we are still waiting for the letter. The GP also referred us to some kind of neurodevelopmental check, she said it may take a few months before we get an appointment.

We have a video call with the community paediatrician tomorrow, I will let know how it goes.

[Toffeecoffeee]

Hi Authentic

I’m so glad your son is doing so well!

It’s so hard not to worry especially when it’s so easy to google!

What is the neurodevelpmental check?

How did your video call go with the community paediatrician?

Does Grow Communication see you personally or will their appointments be via zoom? X

[Authentic2020]

Hi @Toffeecoffeee

Sorry, I meant to get back earlier.

The call was actually with the community peadiatrician nurse ( I thought it would be the community peadiatrician). She was good though. She referred us to the peadiatrician but it might take months before we get an appointment.
She also asked if it's ok to speak to our son's nursery (I hope to get feedback from nursery today, my son goes there 2 days a week).
The peadiatrician nurse also referred us to the speech therapist.
The NHS speech therapist phoned me yesterday. I explained my concerns and she said that it's good that I pay attention to those communication issues. She gave me some tips how to facilitate and encourage communication with my son, she will also send a booklet with tips. We can contact them if we have any concerns.
It sounds like there is a possibility to start the therapy very early if we want to.
I asked if, based on her experience, it's possible for my son to catch up with langauge and communication or it might be something serious. She confirmed what I was suspecting - she saw children catching up with no further issues but it might be a sign of autism or language disorder.

RE the neurodevelpmental check - I am not entirely sure what it is, I should have asked. It was the GP who suggested it, to get my son checked (just in case). I guess to check if there are any signs of some kind of neurodevelopmental disorder

Re Grow Communication - we will speak to private speech therapist tomorrow via zoom, it would be great to get a bit more in-depth assessment.

We are still waiting for hearing test referral.

My son progressing though, he still can't wave but he is often reaching for things and started using his index finger to touch things in books or he spontanously points to his teddy or birds outside the window. He also pointed to my nose recently when I asked "where is mummy's nose"? It seems like it took ages for him to learn it but I am happy he finally clicked.

How is your son doing toffecoffeee?