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Arse - I've messed up - Please help me with advice on dealing with the fall out!

(9 Posts)
FlameBatfink Thu 06-Sep-07 20:06:20

We have spent all summer steadily discussing going to big school so that DD had enough warning of the change.

Realised a fortnight ago that she hadn't registered that Big School = No Preschool... so we've been working on that, lots of talking about it, reminding her etc.

She knows that it is just one day, and then the weekend.

Discovered as I put her to bed tonight that she thought her preschool teachers would be there too - just in a new room with an extra teacher (they were always there for the settling in visits).

I've tried explaining, but we have had tears, she doesn't want to go, and there isn't enough time tomorrow morning to get her used to the idea.

I don't know if it is going to kick off as I drop her off, or when I pick her up. If it is afterwards then it will be easy, I can give her all the time and attention in the world.

If it is at drop off though I don't know what to do - do I stay as long as it takes to settle her (bearing in mind that she can carry on sobbing and yelling for a long time), or do I mop away tears and send her in with one of the TAs (I know they have lots on standby for first starters) and hope to hell that she will settle down once she sees her friends etc.

We've not had any experiences like this before, and I have no idea how to deal with it or how she is likely to react - before it has either been all new, or just one variable changed (preschool moved buildings last year), not the dealing with new building and lack of teachers she knows/one she doesn't.

Help! (I don't even know if you can help without knowing my individual DD blush) Maybe just some tissues to mop me up in the morning??

(Post on here so infrequently should tell you about her!! We treat her as though she is AS - it is very very mild (I know there is no way she will get an official dx with it this mild iyswim), but she isn't NT either.)

Thank you

Nat1H Thu 06-Sep-07 20:16:51

I would leave her with a TA. Horrendously hard for both of you, but probably the quickest. Obviously, I don't know your daughter, but in my experience, children cry whilst their mums are there, and once they've gone, they stop pretty quickly. My son who has CP still does this, 2 years later. He sometimes makes me feel really guilty - usually at the start of term, as he is a brilliant actor!! wink If you feel uncomfortable ask if you could maybe stay in another room where you can hear, and see how quickly she calms down. I would avoid staying with her if at all posiible, as she (and you) will only end up getting more distressed.
Good luck! (earplugs might help! grin)

FlameBatfink Thu 06-Sep-07 20:50:28

My mum agrees with that method too - that was my gut instinct Apparently there is a lovely new student started too who is very good at receiving them (mum works at the school).

Califrau Thu 06-Sep-07 21:10:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop Thu 06-Sep-07 21:17:38

Yep, I'd go with the 'leave her and run' approach too. If there's no time to get her used to the idea then staying with her probably won't help.

Good luck for tomorrow.

twocutedarlings Thu 06-Sep-07 23:12:58

My DD also started reception this week (tue) she has AS, she also had similar fears as your DD, she has been absolutley fine, no tears atall, school so far have been brilliant.

I hope she to has a wonderfull start to school, good luck xx

FlameBatfink Fri 07-Sep-07 12:12:21


She was fine!

LilRedWG Fri 07-Sep-07 12:14:33

coppertop Fri 07-Sep-07 14:27:34


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