Party help

[elliejjtiny]

Ds2 (aged 11, year 7, ehlers danlos syndrome, sensory processing issues and autistic traits) has actually been invited to a party for the first time in about 4 years. I've always stayed at parties in case of meltdowns but he is adamant he doesn't want me to stay this time. I don't know the mum at all although I do have her mobile number from the invite.

Not sure if I should say anything to the mum. Ds2 has had meltdowns at school before so the girl having the party will know he has them. He is quite good at masking most of the time so he will probably make it through the 2 hour party but there is a small chance he won't. He will also probably flap/stim if he gets excited.

I'm worried that if I say something to the mum then she will panic and assume he has the more complex type of asd (like my youngest child who escapes and licks windows).

[openupmyeagereyes]

It’s great he got invited. I would probably ask her to call me immediately if there are any problems and then park myself down the road with a coffee and a book. Do you know what sort of party it is so you can prepare him and set expectations in advance?

[elliejjtiny]

Thankyou. He made it through the party and then had a meltdown at home. Very relieved that he made it through although frustrated that about 90% of his meltdowns happen when he is with me at the moment. I know it's because I'm his safe space but I always worry that it's me doing something wrong.

On a positive note Ds2 was one of only 4 children invited to the party (bowling) so the birthday girl must think of him as a really good friend. He's only ever been invited to whole class or half class parties before now.