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would this offend you??

(11 Posts)
2shoes Sat 25-Aug-07 19:09:05

saw my nephews today. haven't seen them for ages.
one has dyspraxia and in my view doing very well.
Mil who is in her 80's made the comment after the twins had left.
she said twin A was growing into a nice boy........but twin B well he won't ammount to much.
I didn't say anything but was shocked tha a) she could make such a crass comment and b) that she could make it in front of us. seeing that we have a disabled child.
Now I know she is old(which is why i didn't say anything) but am I getting to precious about such comments??

FioFio Sat 25-Aug-07 19:10:07

Message withdrawn

2shoes Sat 25-Aug-07 19:13:20

shame is twin B seems to be doing REALLY well

PersonalClown Sat 25-Aug-07 19:14:20

I'm with Fio. Sounds like a generation thing.

FioFio Sat 25-Aug-07 19:20:08

Message withdrawn

needmorecoffee Sat 25-Aug-07 20:34:09

Old people thing. They are the ones saying 'what a shame' when they see DD in her wheelchair.

magsi Sat 25-Aug-07 21:46:25

Talking of comments that offend (sorry to drift off the subject, but this just made me think), doesn't it get on your nerves when people (all ages) who bump into you say "Oh, but isn't he doing so well?! I know they are only trying to make you feel better, but couldn't they think of something else to say than pay your dc a silly compliment as if they have been studying their progress? the sad thing is, I just say "yes" and smile. I don't know, it just annoys me sometimes.

needmorecoffee Sun 26-Aug-07 10:00:35

I get 'awww, sucha shame, but she's got lovely hair' or 'such a shame, with such gorgeous hair too'
Either they think the beautiful red hair is wasted on a quadraplegic or their mouths don't quite know what to say when faced witha quad 3yo.
One day I'll ask wink
Its the stares that bug me.

bullet123 Sun 26-Aug-07 11:33:11

I would be offended as well. I'd like to tell you a story about expectations.
My mum has two cousins (well, she has lots more, but these are the two cousins in the story). Cousin A did well in school and everyone said he would do well once he left school. He went to university and became a doctor and settled quite comfortably.
Cousin B did not do well at school. Everyone said he was a nice lad, but he wouldn't amount to anything. He left school with no qualifications at 15 and sort of drifted for the next 6 years. At 21 he bought a lorry and started a haulage firm. That haulage firm grew. He is now a multimillionaire and very successful.

lourobert Mon 27-Aug-07 15:42:49

I was hurt and offended when my dp's uncle told me that my son had been 'robbed of his birth right'....people just don think and I think theres a defibnate generation difference. Saying that my nan whos 90 absolutl adores my ds and have never said anything negative or horrible- quite the opposite, but I guess that becasue its her great grandson.

needmorecoffee Mon 27-Aug-07 16:02:57

When DD2 was born my in-laws refused to look at her or acknowledge her. They are only into academic ability. After 2 years, it was shown that despite severe CP she's actually quite bright likemy other 3 they've started talking to her and, miracles, held her.
I'm still nursing resentment though, that they would have ignored her if she'd had learning disabilites.

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