Stigma!! Shallow minded people! Help!!

[Leonard08]

Both my daughters 10 and 8 are currently going through diagnosis. My youngest is having a really tough time lately and is having multiple meltdowns a day. This is all quite new to us and we're struggling a little I won't lie, but the stigma is what I'm struggling with the most! I honestly had no idea how many shallow minded and just plain nasty people there are out there!! Last night my best friend of 10 years was round, we were supposed to be going out for a few hours but my youngest daughter had one of the biggest meltdowns of her life because I was leaving, I got to the car and could hear and see her getting more and more agitated so I told her that I'm not going and she should carry on and go home, she didn't and followed me back into the house, she then sits there and starts calling us all weird and a bunch of other degrading names and I lose my temper as my daughter's are still present, she ends up leaving anyway and it's safe to say that friendship is well and truly over... I am dumbfounded as to how someone can be so cruel and shallow minded especially towards children... Has anyone else lost long term relationships because of the stigma attached to any Mental health issues and if you have is there anything that helped you through it? I'm feeling pretty alone right now

[BlankTimes]

You've not said what your girls are being assessed for, but autism and many other related conditions (co-morbids) are not mental health issues.They are neuro-developmental issues, very different.

Around a child who is undergoing diagnostics to find out why they are different, you will have one parent that's supportive of the diagnostic process and enthusiastic to try new techniques and learn about the condition(s). Often the other parent can be oppositional, if yours is on board that's a massive, massive plus, the child's grandparents and most of the aunts and uncles often minimise everything and tell the mother she's ridiculous, there's nothing wrong, all kids do that, all they need is firm parenting, not being pandered to. Friends fall into two camps, ones like the one you've written about and others who understand.

All you can do is believe in yourself, grow a really thick skin, know that you've asked for diagnosis because your kids' behaviour is different to their peers. Read up as much as you can about all conditions that include behaviors your children exhibit and ignore everybody's opinion unless they are medically qualified to diagnose and treat the condition your children have.

You will find out who your friends really are in your current social circle and hopefully you'll meet some great new ones who do understand.
You are most definitely not alone, I'd say every parent who has a child who is different has experienced the same as you.

[Ellie56]

This friend sounds like one you can do without.

As an aside did you explain to your daughter beforehand that you were going out and that you would be coming back later?

[Branleuse]

We've probably all lost friends and sometimes family members I think.
Sometimes it really shows you who your real friends are and arent