Please help before I walk out

[Fredflintstonethefirst]

DS has add and ADHD. He is 11. He is so violent.
We have tried to get help from everyone, school, camhs, social services police, but he is still so aggressive.
He woke this morning and immediately started punching and kicking, hitting us with shoes and cutlery.

No one can help us.
They all promise to do so, but then no one calls us back or actually takes any action.

Are there any services or agencies that I can ask for help?
Preferably ones who are open at the weekend, As I can't wait till Monday, someone will be seriously hurt by then

[openupmyeagereyes]

for you. I don’t have any advice I’m afraid but it sounds very difficult. Do you have any family that you can call in for some support over the weekend to give you breathing space?

Is he on any medication? Is he finding school difficult? Puberty/pre-puberty can’t help matters.

I know that it’s no consolation when you are under attack but he must be desperately unhappy too.

[Fredflintstonethefirst]

He is on medication, but first thing in the morning before he takes it, and after about 5pm when it wears off, he is just so violent.

Family helped last weekend, this weekend they are busy.

[openupmyeagereyes]

Hopefully someone with experience of ADHD will come and offer some advice. I do find these boards are quieter at the weekend.

Are there ADHD helplines? Contact I think has a helpline, though they are not adhd specific.

[Tonnerre]

You need to phone social services immediately - there will be a duty officer available - and make it clear that your son is putting himself and the rest of the family in danger. If you have other children, emphasise in particular any danger that they will be attacked.

Have social services done a formal care assessment? If not, you really need to push them. They are great ones for saying no because a child doesn't meet their criteria, but section 17 of the Children Act 1989 requires them to do a care assessment for any child with a disability - and your son undoubtedly meets the definition for disability. If they still say no, contact solicitors: this could be challenged with legal aid in your son's name. Try Irwin Mitchell, G T Stewart or Simpson Millar.

[Tonnerre]

Does your son have an EHCP? It might be worth contacting SOS SEN or IPSEA about applying for your son to be placed in a residential school - it may well be that consistent work with experts will help him. I suspect you may have to wait till tomorrow and be quite persistent, but you should be able to get through eventually.

[Fredflintstonethefirst]

Thanks for your advice. He does have an EHCP, and I am seriously considering residential school. I have lots of phone calls to make today, luckily I have the day off work.

We have been referred to MASH by 4 different agencies, and told to expect a call with in 24 hours. That was a week ago.
So lots to sort out today.
The weekend was manageable, with v hard work from both me and dh, we managed to keep Ds on an even keel

Duty social worker told us to call the police, there is nothing social care can do, apparently.

[OneInEight]

When we reached crisis point with ds2 we wrote to the head of children's services at the local authority making it fully clear that if harm was caused to ds2 or another family member than they could not claim ignorance of the situation (copied into every last organisation and service that was involved and a few that were not but should have been). Apparently a lot of phone calls were made that day and action was taken.

Fortunately, for us the crisis was medication induced and whilst problems did not disappear they reduced to more manageable levels when we took him off the medicine so we did not have to go residential in the end but we certainly would have gone that route if the problems had remained.

[KisstheTeapot14]

Also after you've shouted and got help from the bodies who should be helping, there is a facebook group who support those with violent kids. I'll see if I can find the name and post. Good Luck OP. No one should live like this and its damaging for DS2 to see this behaviour. No reflection on you obs. You sound like you are doing your best and at end of tether.

[Fredflintstonethefirst]

Finally someone came out to assess us. No idea how long it will take to get help , but at least something is underway now

[Tonnerre]

It's nonsensical for SS to say there is nothing they can do. I hope they're seeing sense now.

Have you asked for an EHCP emergency review with a view to changing his school placement?

[Fredflintstonethefirst]

EHCP being reviewed in a month. There are no other suitable schools, he is in a PRU and I've looked at the mainstream school that has autism provision, and it is in no way suitable.
But they are talking about some therapy for him and respite for us, so it's all moving forward now, but so so slowly

[Bearbearcub]

Hi there. Firstly I want to send you love, as a fellow mother of a violent child. Mine is ASD, PDA, ADHD, ODD. But he’s only 6 and it’s already frightening how powerful he is. So I can only imagine how hard it is with an older child. I just wanted to say that there is a Facebook page for the parents of children with violent or challenging children. The SEND VCB group. I find it helpful to know I’m not alone and it’s a hive mind for helping with our kids. It’s a private group but if you would like me to invite you I’m happy to. Xx

[Fredflintstonethefirst]

Oh yes please @Bearbearcub