What prompted you get your child assessed?

(5 Posts)
mulderitsme Mon 19-Aug-19 08:08:52

I have an almost 5 year old daughter. She started talking at 9 months, was having conversations before she was 2 and has had an impressive vocabulary and use of grammar from a very early age. So there’s definitely no speech delay. However, since my son was born almost 2 years ago, I’ve been starting to wondering if some of the things my daughter does / doesn’t do are ‘typical’

The first major concern is she will not give up her dummy, she has her dummy at bedtime. It causes so many arguments if we say no or take it away, she gets so upset. My husband says to just take it away but to me it’s her comfort? When she has her dummy in, she puts a little piece of her hair between the dummy and her mouth. She’s always done it, since a very young age. She says it’s ‘comfy’ for her.

When we go to the park she will literally play on the spinning pole (no idea what it’s called) the whole time. Same goes for soft play, she finds the spinning toy and will stay there for pretty much the whole time we’re there. (She doesn’t spin in circles on foot although she did used to!)

She’s very rough, almost seems tl throw herself around. Yesterday she threw herself on me and actually hurt me. She grabs people by their neck, especially her little brother. Even tho everyday for the last 2 years we’ve told her not to. I’ve seen her all over friends at pre school it’s like she has no boundaries.

When it comes to play at home, she doesn’t really. Our son is almost 2 and plays happily a lot of the time, which has made it stand out that our daughter can’t seem to play. One thing she does do, she likes to ‘build a world’ whether it be from blocks or household objects she

OP’s posts: |
mulderitsme Mon 19-Aug-19 08:19:42

apologies I didn’t mean to press post just yet

-she’ll build a world, she loves decorating the doll house at grandmas with all the furtnitire and decor but she doesn’t play with the dolls and do the role play.

She doesn’t play with dolls. In her room she sneaks toilet paper and wets it. Or she’ll sneak water to play with.

She can’t yet ride her bike. She just seems to have no coordination at all. She can’t do handstands and just seems a bit clumsy compared to her peers.

When we put her to bed, most nights she’ll take hours to settle. Which is exhausting for us as all day she’s constantly talking and asking questions. Because she doesn’t play much herself it’s hard work.

I apologies that this is so long but I’m wanting to question our daughters behaviour because later me and husband have been arguing on the best way to discipline her. I feel sometimes when she’s ‘naughty’ she’s not being naughty, she just doesn’t seem to get it. When we say don’t grab your brother, then 5 minutes later she grabs him again. She’s also cheeky, in the sense I’ll say get dressed and she’ll say no, or no thank you, she’ll make random loud noises and I’ll ask her to stop and it’s hienstly seems hard work for her to stop.

Life at the minute is draining and there’s loads of stuff about her that I’ve questioned from day one but I feel this post is super long.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

OP’s posts: |
openupmyeagereyes Mon 19-Aug-19 13:06:11

What do her preschool say? How is she doing on the different EYFS categories?

There are IMO some unusual behaviours here. For instance, it sounds like she may be undersensitve to movement, hence the spinning and rough play - she’s trying to get more sensory feedback. Same with the dummy and the noises.

If it were me then I would see the GP and tell them the concerns you’ve listed here.

The book Understanding your child’s sensory signals may be helpful to you, also the Out of sync child series.

BlankTimes Mon 19-Aug-19 13:33:36

Can you self-refer her to an OT? They can help with co-ordination difficulties and they can write you a supportive letter or report if they think she needs further referrals.

Ask if your OT also deals with sensory processing, if so ask them to evaluate her sensory needs. This service was widely available on the NHS, nowadays only a few areas provide it, the rest refer you to private OTs.

Once you've had feedback from the OT on both her co-ordination and sensory issues, , or if you cannot self-refer, see your GP on your own and ask for that referral and see what the OT says. Then see your GP again on your own, with the OT's comments and a long list from you of your daughter's different-to-peers behaviour, and ask for a referral for an assessment of her difficulties.

NHS waitlists for referral for assessment can be 18 months to 2 years on average, so you may wish to choose the private route. If so, then if you can, choose a team who also work for the NHS.

Falkirk Council have a great leaflet about Sensory Processing too, www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?v=201507131117
For more detailed Sensory Processing info, Read the Out of Synch Child by Carol Kranowitz.

I've focused on the sensory issues you mentioned as they are the ones that you can get practical help with or work around yourself to help your dd just about straight away. The rest involve a more complicated diagnostic process which can be started while you're understanding your dd's sensory needs and helping her with those.

RapidComestibleExecutive Mon 19-Aug-19 13:48:18

What prompted you to get your child assessed?

A thread on MN!

Someone posted something like "My friend says I should be concerned about my 16 month old as not pointing, not waving and not answering to your name are signs of autism".

My blood ran cold as my 16 month old didn't do those things and I rang my Health Visitor in the morning. Several months later, ASD diagnosis.

It's important to remember that people with ASD can present quite differently to one another, so if you feel that it needs investigation don't let people fob you off with "they all develop at different rates," "oh, she'll get there in her own good time," "let's wait 6 months and see," etc. Even so-called experts often have no idea. Many people I know lost precious time when they could have been helping their child because they were told the above.

I thank God for my HV who took me seriously straightaway - she's got a DH and DS on the spectrum smile

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