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If one more person asks me if dd will be normal...

(27 Posts)
frascati Tue 10-Jul-07 21:39:40

when she grows up I will scream.

How bloody insensitive

Why do people think they can say/ask what they like when your child has a sn/disability?

sarah293 Tue 10-Jul-07 21:45:55

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coppertop Tue 10-Jul-07 21:51:32

"Will she be normal?" That's beyond insensitive.

frascati Tue 10-Jul-07 21:54:44

I said to him (my neighbour not something we think of and what's normal anyway?
I just think would people be so personal if she didn't have sn?

sarah293 Tue 10-Jul-07 21:57:25

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moondog Tue 10-Jul-07 21:59:20

Fucking ridiculous.

I would look at them cooly and say
'More to the point-will you???? You're not exactly sailing on an even keel are you?'

frascati Tue 10-Jul-07 22:03:23

riven ~ oh yes he followed it off with "such a shame" and I was like "no not really, we are so lucky to have dd in our lives, not a shame at all" Thing is we love her quirkiness!

aloha Tue 10-Jul-07 22:03:54

What a HORRIBLE thing to say!

mummytosteven Tue 10-Jul-07 22:06:01

jeez. completely out of order.

homemama Tue 10-Jul-07 22:07:19

I would be tempted to say,'well not if normal means being a rude, insesitive idiot!'

Blu Tue 10-Jul-07 22:09:50

Yes, how bloody, bloody insensitive.

What a horrible thing to say.

frascati Tue 10-Jul-07 22:10:33

I love Luke Jacksons motto "Different is cool. Why can't other people see it that way?
For instance today I parked up to take dd into the hairdressers and where we live there is a home for adults with learning difficulties. There was a couple in their 20's who had ld. Anyway I could see a group of men sniggering and I just thought what a nasty world we live in. They weren't harming anyone but people can't help having a dig.

Jenkeywoo Tue 10-Jul-07 22:52:51

I am sick of people asking if dd is 'better yet' - she has CP, it's not going away! after dh went into the office after dd's first physiotherapy someone asked if she it had worked and she is better now. GRRRR. Asking if your little one will be 'normal' is just plain rude.

anniebear Wed 11-Jul-07 11:03:58

I always used to get "she will be ok when she gets older though"?

er, no!! why??? her brain damaged wont suddenly heal!!!!

Havent really had it said for a while, she is nearly 6. Tended to get it more when she was a pre schooler

I still get "well she is still young, you never knoe" ocasionally

anniebear Wed 11-Jul-07 11:05:25

we still do get "she is such a happy little thing"


FioFioJane Wed 11-Jul-07 13:50:05

people ask me if dd will get WORSE its bloody charming

2spells Wed 11-Jul-07 15:52:45

i have lost count of the times I have been asked if she will walk and my dad always says how sad it is that she can't fron t of her.
never mind she has cp so she is happy

lourobert Wed 11-Jul-07 21:01:53

People dont mean any harm though do they???? Do you think they they are just uneducated about difference and disabilty and are just trying to say the right thing.....?! I dont know, just thinking out loud.

Ive had comments like 'its a shame' and 'oh how sad' and the biggy is ' I just dont knoe how you do it, I couldnt do it' I have worked with children and adults with disabilities and I always thought that if im totoally honest.

Another is 'god chosses special mums for special chidlren' and whilst I know people are trying to fill an awkward silence i find that so patronising, maybe im being a bit harsh there...!

sarah293 Wed 11-Jul-07 21:11:20

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anniebear Wed 11-Jul-07 21:26:26

A so called Friend asked me , when Ellie was around 3 or 4 "would you put her in a home "

anniebear Wed 11-Jul-07 21:27:29

er...Nope!!!! Shes 3!!!!! Now, I ,myself feel like going to a home!!! (an OAP one)

Im that tired and wrinkled I would fit in great!!!!

mum2seb Thu 12-Jul-07 14:41:19

My ds1 has Spina Bifida, and I'm often asked if his back is better yet!!!!! Or, "He's not still in nappies, is he?" (He's 3, so it wouldn't be unusual if he didn't have SB, surely!). I just feel sorry for their ignorance and lack of tact (All of this is usually said in front of ds - after all, if his legs don't work properly, that'll affect his ears!!!).

lourobert Thu 12-Jul-07 15:16:46

I get told all the time....Louis couldn't have a better mummy!!! hmmmm little do they know how it really is. Although im feeling positive now I know next week Ill hit a major slump next week and feel all sorry for myself and 'why us'. I know people mean well but I would prefer to hear .....aint life a bitch sometimes but you gotta just get on with it cos no-on else will. Cant argue with that can i

sarah293 Thu 12-Jul-07 17:20:00

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mum2seb Thu 12-Jul-07 20:55:17

How about "God chose you for your special boy because you're a special person" !!!!!!!!! Some people really do need a good slap!

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