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High Functioning Austism and school(3 Posts)
Hi I’m hoping for any thoughts on some issues to do with my son age 12 at secondary school. I’m sorry for any rambling. He’s just about to recieve his second inclusion sanction. The first was for play fighting whereby he was excluded internally for a day which the school had noted on his file as violent and agreesive behaviour. I didn’t agree the behaviour was violent it aggressive as he was play fighting with a friend out of lesson time. However he had made a statement where he said he had wanted to hit another child and although the sch knew they were play fighting due to this implication and that play fighting or any fighting is not allowed they sanctioned him. More recently he had been sitting next to a female pupil and joking around with her whereby he said ‘that’s not the only thing mr * is good at it’ he has told me he was being rude but he thought it was funny and was joking around. He was referring to a teacher who is a maths whizz. I wholly except this comment was inappropriate and foolish of him to say. The following week the female pupil has come to the head of year and said my child had said the above and that he has sex with teachers and that he was making sex noises . She was asked to make a statement to this effect and they then asked him to do so. I had told him previously that if he was going to implicate himself and admit to stuff he didn’t think/do/say he shouldn’t write statements without me there. As he did before. He wrote this second statement and said the teacher kept asking him if he had said he had sex with teachers in which he said no but the teacher kept asking and he eventually said he did because he thought it would then end and he could go. When he was informed that he had apparently also made sex noises he said that was a step too far and too many lies so he denied it point blank. The school are sanctioning him for sexual harressment and content of a sexual nature. I am not happy as I believe he didn’t say he had sex with teachers or make sex noises. The school have excepted that he didn’t make sex noises as he didn’t admit it but they have said he agreed he said he has sex with teachers so they have to assume the girls version of that statement is true. However he only admitted that he said that because he was under pressure and he wanted to go.He also cried at the end which is most unlike him. He said he was about to take his bag and Walk out but there was too many head of years there and he thought he’d be in more trouble and he was angry about the lies and so under pressure he just cried. I’m not happy about the serious sanction he is receiving as I don’t believe he said what they have accused him off. There are no witnesses either. Anyone have any thoughts am I not thinking straight as I am about to go in to a meeting and argue this case.
It’s also important to note that the school have commended him on his honesty in the past. I also know that my son is a very truthful person he will say it how it is. If he has said something he shouldn’t he will admit it as he thinks he has reasons to justify it I.e it’s right, it’s funny, it’s what I think.
Ok I have two dc with asd. I have also heard many people say that kids with asd never lie. I don't know your d's but it is possible that going through puberty is more challenging for him and that he is struggling with what is and isn't appropriate to say and to whom. You might want to discuss this with school. It could be argued that he needs more support and help with this than other kids. Arguing about whether he actually did it might be counter productive especially as another pupil has reported him being inappropriate. Focus on getting him more support and guidance on dealing with sex and relationships.