Please can some one help my friend and give some advice regarding OCD

[anniebear]

Her dd was born at 25 weeks, she is now 5

she is registered blind, but does have a bit of vision in one eye

Last year Dyspraxia was mentioned. She has also been told her DD will be about 2 years behind with numeracy and literacy because of her sight problems

But considering everything she is a miracle! and doing realy well


She has a health care plan at School, visual support come in, 1-1 etc

But about 6 months ago her DD started with little things she had to repeat, like putting the light on, she had to do it, if her Mum did it, she would have to turn it off and do it again herself

This was nothing major but it has escalated lots and also she is having really bad tantrums

It is affecting bedtime because the 'rituals' are taking longer. I won't list the things but there are lots of obsessions. She will scream if she doesn't get to do the things she 'has ' to do

The professional's involved have yet to give any helpful advice

My friend is worried , because at the moment her DD's number is 2, so 2 animals to bed, 2 spoonfuls of things etc etc, what if it becomes 3, 4 , 8 etc

My friend would really appreciate some advice form parents who have experience of this and any idea's would be very gratefully received

Thanks so much

[anniebear]

One thing in particular, some one told her she should just let her DD carry on with these rituals and another told her she should try to slowly end them

????? which advice does she follow?

[Julia76]

Not really sure what to say with regards to any advice for your friends DD but just wanted to say that I suffer from ocd although things have improved over the last few years but have suffered from it for as long as I can remember. I remember the rituals I had to go through as a child, even very young & one of the things (like your friends DD) was turning the light on & off so many times & if I didnt do this I would think something bad was going to happen to me or a family member. This carried on up until about 5 years ago. My dh was so worried I was going to casue a problem with the electirc as I was turning the light on & off every night depending on what number came in to my head. Kissing was another 1. I had to kiss my parents & sisers as child so many times or I would think the same thing. Then my own dc when I had them. He made me realise I needed to get help. As it happens I managed to do it with out any perfessional help what so ever. As I got older it was obvious to people & especially my dh that this is what I was suffering from I started researching & finding ways to help me. I have managed to control this now by myself through research and ways of controlling it. Basically doing what your scared of doing. If that makes sence.I realsied when I did not do something that that particular person did not get ill or die & it broke me from carrying on with thta particular ritual. I do not have to do as many rituals everyday as what I used to in the past but If im honest there are still some I now do which is more out of habit I think though, then a ritual becasue I have done them for so many years of my life. My dad suffers from it also although he is much better then whilst he was growing up too. I must admit though I do still have to wash my hands so many times that they get dry & sore sometimes & this is becasue of the obsession with hygiene/cleansiness. I drve my dp & dc mad as I am alwasy on at them to do the same. I just wanted to say that your friend needs to be patient & suportive of her dd & i think its great that they are asking for advise as this is sometihng that my parents never did. Altough times change & maybe it was unheard of years ago whilst I was growing up. But at least by gettingthe advice now thwey can get the hepl needed and prevent this from becaoming sometihng that she will hve to cope with through out her adult life always. Who has your friend spoken to? Her Gp? I know there are different therapies out there that apparently help cognitiative thereapy(sp) I think is one of them. But do not quote me on that. Been a while since I read up on it. If you do a search on Ocd then loads of info on it &comes up on what it is & what can be done to stop. You probably already have done this so sorry if i have not been much help.

[Julia76]

ALso I have a ds who has dcd. Did not show all the signs of dyspraxia but some & know how hard it is to cope with a child with this condition let alone all the other things your friends has to cope with. My ds has some problems with eye site but nothing serious. Needs glasses to correct this though & his eye site is not brilliant in one eye but nothing to the extent of your friends dd. Just relly bumping this up for you as I really do not know what to suggest but hope that your friends get some advice & help soon. Sounds like she is a patient & great mum from what you have said already & I do wish her the best.....

[anniebear]

Thanks so much

she is in contact with numerous 'proffessionals' because of her vision and being so prem..... CDC, Vision support and the complex special needs team who to me the be the best form of advice should come from...

I think a lady from there was going to walk home from school with them one afternoon to see her tantrums

schol have said that there are things she would do there if they let her, but they try to get her attention away from the things she 'feels the need' to do

she just doesnt know if she should be trying to discourage them. It is beginning to distrupt family life now and bed times

[anniebear]

Thanks

[anniebear]

Really appreciate it if anyone can advise

Thanks

[anniebear]

bump

[mymatemax]

Hi Anniebear
my ds2 was born at 28 wks & has been dx'd with OCD, he also has mild CP & hypermobility, anxiety disorder which i feel goes alongside the OCD & poss autism.
His rituals are very rigid, particularly bedtime, mealtime etc.
We try to vary our daily routine ever so slightly as much as he will tolerate as I have found this does help him from establishing new routines.
Sometimes he will get stuck on part of a routine & he finds this very upsetting as he has to keep going back over the same step of a routine again - this is a new development & is causing him a lot of added anxiety.
My ds's rituals do change, he has a few that are set in stone but the rest develop & then are gradually replaced by new ones.

Julia its interesting what you say about the kissing thing, my ds2 can't just say goodbye we have dozens of kisses & they have to have proper contact or they just don't seem to count. Its good to hear an adult perspective on it

[mymatemax]

Sorry meant to ask, has she seen a psychologist?

[anniebear]

Yes, they do see some one, but this has only got worse recently


psychologist was the one who said to just try and gradually try to reduce the amount of times she does things

But that is all she has said, no other advice!!

She is also 'meant' to be walking home from school with them one day to see how her DD IS

bUT YOU JUT KNOW ON THAT DAY her DD will be an angel

Thnaks again for your replies, I will forward them on to her

Feel so sorry for her. My DD has SN, which is how we met. But It has always been me that has the most probs. But she is having such a hard time at the moment. She is a lovely person an I really feel for her

she just wants to be told how to handle it

[mummytosteven]

psychology.iop.kcl.ac.uk/ocdkids/default.aspx

if she has web access she may find this website useful, it's by the Maudsley hospital for children with OCD, and their carers.

otherwise there are some good self help books available, not sure what is available specifically for parents/children, but some of the standard adult self help books will have sections about children in.

[anniebear]

thanks so much

[mymatemax]

tbh we have been given very little advice re the OCD but it has the biggest impact on our lives out of all his disabilities & is the most controlling aspect of ds2's behaviour.
I find the more anxious he is (normally if something has disrupted him) the OCD takes over completely.
I have found our local NAS has been able to offer some advice so it may be worth your friend giving them a call.
I'm always happy to chat if she wants to compare notes

[anniebear]

arrh, thats really knd of you, thank you

It must just be such an awful thing and can just take over your whole lives

My friend is worried that more things are going to be taken over by it