Just wanted to have a quick vent - my son is always left out!

[MummytoCSJH]

Some of you may remember my previous post about my childminder - we are still no closer to any support or diagnosis of asd or adhd, no doctor I speak to will refer again until hes older and school although seeing the issues say he still might grow out of everything🙄
I'm just a bit upset today. My son's reception year is split into 2 classes - let's call them 1 and 2. My younger brother is in class 1. My son is in class 2. Aside from classroom teaching the two classes are together for everything, PE, reading, shared area messy play, lunch, playtime, assemblies. They are all friends with each other. My brother was invited to a joint party of 2 girls in class 1 that is happening tonight. My son was not. Fair enough, maybe only class 1 was invited. Today the whole class was talking about how excited they are about the party, so I thought maybe I had missed the invite. Nope. My son is the only one from both classes not invited, because he is 'too naughty and will ruin it' according to one of the children. Though he isn't close with either of the girls whose party it is (and I know they can invite who they like) and he doesn't really care, it's just a bit of a kick in the teeth for me, I feel awful. A few weeks ago, his 2 best friends who he always talks about both had their birthday parties and he wasn't invited. I was shocked because both of these boys are always looking for and playing with my son at school, their parents tell me how much they talk about him and one even got their mum to buy the same halloween costume as my son because he thought my son looked cool and wanted to match. So I don't think its the children. I just feel bad for my son. He's always ruled as naughty, and I know I can't expect 4 year olds to understand any differently but it's hard knowing he isn't wanted there.

[FuckOffMeadowSoprano]

I remember your previous post OP, it sounds like you're in a really tricky position.

Have you got any further with getting a diagnosis for him or any SEN help in school?

Is it simply that parents feel that they are worried about managing his behaviour at a party? I wonder if you could reach out to one parent to try and talk to them about it. If he was invited to a party would you be able to stay with him to keep an eye on things?

[MummytoCSJH]

I've got no further, it just still feels like nobody is listening to me. I haven't been able to find another childcare provider until September when he will go to the play club before and after school (which should help his issues with continuity as well), so we're just juggling it at the moment. I could definitely have gone to the parties, although when I do get the chance to be at school I do speak to the other parents I'm not consistently there so I'm not particularly close or overly friendly with nay of them because I just don't know them, so I'm not sure if I feel comfortable asking. I dont want to come across as entitled or cheeky!

[QwertyLou]

I’m late reading this OP - I’m sorry your little boy has been left out, not fair at all.

Speaking from the perspective of another parent, I wouldn’t consider you cheeky or entitled at all for reaching out.

The mom of a little girl who had some social challenges once reached out to me - I was glad she did. My son ended up going to her party and she came to his!

You sound like a lovely mom and I hope you get some support soon