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Let him be excluded in order to get help?????????

(22 Posts)
bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:01:46

If anyone following my story..........

Removed DS from school 2 weeks ago due to huge breakdown in communication with school and also very horid atmosphere.
DS is under assessment for suspected ASPERGERS.
Went to view new school today and it was very obvious they had been chatting with old school.
New school not sure they will be able to offer any extra support and tried to get me to change mind about sending DS there. No option really though!
Seems my only option to get DS support which he desparately needs is to sit back and let the school exclude him due to health and safety reasons!!
Am angry at the system. Sad because my boy has to go through this but doesnt understand it and am just fed up of the whole thing!

dustystar Mon 25-Jun-07 19:04:45

You have my sympathy bonkers - the system sucks I think that at this stage the best thing to do is let the exclusion go ahead as he will become a priority for the LEA. I can't remember whether you have asked for a statement or not.

bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:07:07

am at appeal in september for a statement and have peadiatrician on 9th July for assessment for the spectrum. School also asked if i had considered the possibilty that DS is 'normal but naughty!'.......chose to ignore that comment because i would hope the peadiatrician wouldnt have rushed through appointment and told me DS has severe needs if he was 'normal!'

Aloha Mon 25-Jun-07 19:08:12

We are talking very seriously about not letting my ds (5, Aspergers) go back to school as of now. sympathies.

dustystar Mon 25-Jun-07 19:10:54


They just love to lay the blame at the parents door don't they and absolve themselves of any resposibility or duty of care

Find a school where they are positive about helping him - you don't need somewhere that is negative before you even get him in the door.

My Mum is a SENCo and she struggles to get funding to support many of the children in her school. They have a policy of no exclusions unless there is absolutely no choice but she says in some cases exclusion would be the beast option because it forces the LEA to pull their finger out and actually do something.

bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:10:57

DH says i should give up work and home ed. TBH i felt that is what the school want me to do too as they cannot offer him the support either.
I dont really have a problem with having DS at home except i am knackered! He is demanding , he likes doing maths etc so i am constantly on teacher mode. I childmind so am home but have 3 other girls under 4 here that need me too!!! I dont know where to go with this now.
If i send him to new school it looks like we will be in same situation and will have to accept exclusions in order to gt help BUT the exclusions play havoc with DS which in turn has a negative essect at home on me and DH and job!

dustystar Mon 25-Jun-07 19:13:28

Are there any other schools in the area? Make appointments to see them but don't give them details before you get there so they can't hear the 'bad' version from his current school.

bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:15:36

according to allocations there is not another school with spaces unless we travel along way to get one! Ds cant access schools with units for behaviour as we dont yet have the statement of diognosis. New school have a 43% intake of special needs children and basically say they are already streched financially. DS will have to go into year 4 class (is 7 end of july) whioch he will cope with academically but will look very immature in!!!

dustystar Mon 25-Jun-07 19:17:23

Why is he going into year 4 if he's only 7? I apologise if you've explained this before but my memory is terrible

sarah573 Mon 25-Jun-07 19:17:48

Hi, I can't offer you much advice - except to say you're not alone - our school think my DS is a health and safety risk too!! We are also under assessment for AS.

After alot of thought (and advice from other MN's here)I've decided to "sit back and let them exclude him". Im not prepared to remove him as I may not be able to find anywhere else suitable. If he's excluded then they LEA will have to provide him with something (I live in hope!!).

What have the school in place for you DS at the moment?


bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:23:32

they have too many children in yr 2 at present apparantly and year 3 class has 4 children with severe difficulties already so yr 4 class is only option for him!
Got to go to school with DS tomorrow to look around and let them know IF we want him to go there. Im now doubting if i can put him through all this again BUT untill diagnosis and statement we dont have an option! He has to go SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have offered him an hour at school thursday and one hour friday then next week he will go for 2 hours 3 days and week after that he will do one full day! This is to assess how much input DS will need for new school year!

dustystar Mon 25-Jun-07 19:27:17

That sounds awful bonkerz. he may be able to cope academically but he will struggle socially. I would say don't send him there - let his current school go for exclusion and let the LEA sort it out. When you say you are going for appeal are you appealing the result od a statutory assessment or the decision to do an assessment?

Poor ds and poor you

bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:30:14

appealing for them to assess DS. Because DS is acheiving above average educationally he cant have a statement due to policy here DESPITE having sever and complex behavioural difficulties! Blanket policy in my county means they wont do a statement unless DS is underacheiving!!

bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:30:37

I removed DS 2 weeks ago from his old school so he cant go back!

dustystar Mon 25-Jun-07 19:31:38

But I'm sure a blanket policy is illegal. Check with Attillathemeerkat but I'm sure they can't do that.

dustystar Mon 25-Jun-07 19:32:33

Oh sorry bonkerz I misunderstood - do you mean put him in the new school and let him be excluded from there?

bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:37:44

yes have removed him and looks like the only way he will get help is if he is excluded more than 10 times! He can then get extra help from a pupil referral unit as he will be a cause for concern!

dustystar Mon 25-Jun-07 19:43:56

Your poor little boy

bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 19:47:33

found it hard sat in office talking to a woman i had never met and she was doubting everything i said! Not sure why i was stating the facts. We have been lucky getting pead appointments so quickly but this cinfused her and she asumed it means there is nothing wrong with Ds and she couldnt understand why I did referral to pead and referral to statemnt!! DUH thats why i have moved ds out of the old school!!!

jenk1 Mon 25-Jun-07 20:13:42

bonkerz, we were in the same situation as you re statementing a year ago. had to go to tribunal to get him asessed and they dropped out 2 days before, were supposed to be at tribunal last week against parts 2,3 and 4 and they asked for postponement 2 days before again.
i would imagine that your LEA will cave in especially as it looks like the school cannot cope with or willing to help you.

My ds was not given help -the excuse?
"We note his high level of academic ability" yes but he runs around the playground talking non stop about spongebob and getting bullied..............................

bonkerz Mon 25-Jun-07 20:32:40

your sentence

We note his high level of academic ability

rings very true here
The reason for this high level?? I DO ALOT OF EXTRA WORK AT HOME DS loses on average and hour and a half of teaching hours a day due to his behaviour!

Dinosaur Tue 26-Jun-07 18:46:35

bonkerz, what an awful position to be in

people who don't have SN children just have no idea that this is the sort of crap that happens

it makes me very angry

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