Hi, sorry, been pacing up and down, grinding my teeth and hyperventilating. Seriously, I think I'm cracking up. I feel completely hysterical.
Meeting - starts with Head rounding on me really aggressively and accusing me of saying things about her behind her back. Obviously I have done - here! But I never talk about ds's situation with people at school, because I don't tell people that he has Aspergers. In fact the only time I got upset about it in school and criticised the head was at a Parents for Inclusion meeting which is supposed to be confidential. I now feel absolutely paranoid that someone is spying on me and she is encouraging them.
Start meeting on this less than friendly footing, and it's just impossible. NObody is prepared to admit that anything could be changed at school to make things better. They absolutely refused to consider a behaviuor support plan or even a home school book until the LEA autism support woman said it might be a good idea. They said, 'It will be very negative for your ds to read' - ffs - it's not for him, it's for us, and it's as negative as they make it!
I tried to explain what I was doing to help him (social stories etc) and was told they all had thought I was obstructive and 'frightening' (not that they talk about me behind my back, of course ).
There was no question of allowing me to observe him in the classroom.
That I was lying about the lack of communication. That was quite funny - 'we did a golden book for him!' 'no you didn't' 'oh, that was another child'. We told you about these assessments we'd had done on him' 'no you didn't' 'oh, no, we didn't want to share that with you yet (hastily puts away papers)'
At one point they actually admitted that the reception numeracy and literacy was 'totally irrelevant' to ds but that it was only in the last week or so had begun to consider extension work, yet told us 'you expect too much from him. He is only five' '
We were told off for saying 'but he doesn't do that at home', when, last week, we were pulled aside (in full sight of all the parents in ds's class) and told all the awful things he is apparently doing. That wasn't 'helpful' and was 'intimidating' which is why nobody talks to me (after telling me that they do communicate with me).
At the end I tried very hard to be conciliatory and said 'Look, I'm sorry if I have ever come over as aggressive but I am very worried about my little boy because he does have a disability', and the TA leaned forward and said 'Yes, you are very over-protective. Very over-protective' and I just thought, fuck this for a game of soldiers.
End result: Extreme mutual antipathy
Realisation that yet again his IEP is overdue for review and that nothing in it has been done.
A promise that the G%T coordinator will see him.
A home/school book.
That's it.
Oh, and I was told he was deliberately strangling children and he had an 'obsession' with strangling children with a skipping rope. Ask ds about it - total bafflement and astonishment - 'I'm not strangling them. I'm playing at tying them up', which is a stupid game a (totally NT but very bossy) little girl at the nursery instigated with him until I told her not to. He clearly thinks it is a normal game.
No wonder he wasn't responding to punishment - he clearly had no bleeding idea what he was being punished for.
Also when the 'strangling' thing was first mentioned last week, the TA said, 'what are you letting him watch?' which made me
I was even told that they'd decided his behaviour was the result of something we'd done at half term
I am very seriously now considering removing him in three weeks and looking for another place for him. I never want to speak to anyone at his school again, tbh.